Puerto Vallarta Ain't Bad

[Guest jackboy51]

As much as I love Brazil, I also enjoy Mexico, and Puerto Vallarta definitely has it's advantages! I had really forgotten about Puerto Vallarta, but last winter, at Aspen Gay Ski Week, I met up with an old buddy who was raving about the great time he had at the Latin Fever Party over Thanksgiving. So this year, I decided to try it out! It's a Mexican version of the Miami White Party on a much smaller scale, and much more manageable. Of course the tidbits I picked up from this board from earlier in the year really helped. I did worry about devastation from the hurricaine which was about a month before the event, but fortunately the Zona Romantica was completely intact. I do think that Los Muertos Beach, which was never very grand in the first place, is a lot smaller, and it had vastly different configurations each day which I think are related to the hurricaine, and should eventually resolve. The changes didn't seem to affect the parade of men from going up and down the beach, there was almost too much eye candy at times, though of course nothing like Brazil. But, for me, it was really a quick flight, and my hotel package was all inclusive, and at $500.00 for 7 nights, was more than reasonable. I did not stay at the Blue Chairs Hotel, which I think is the only oceanfront gay hotel, because I was afraid of the disco beat 24/7 and it was Latin Fever Central, but it seems like a great little hotel. It has a rooftop bar where we got together every evening to gaze at the sunsets, which were fabulous, and the staff were extremely friendly and helpful. Absolutely everyone I met was good natured, and there were never any real language barriers, though I can speak a little school boy Spanish. It's not the cheapest little resort town in the world, but it may be the most friendly! Most of the men at the party were from Mexico, particularly from either Guadalajara or Mexico City and it's environs, and then a large contingent from San Diego and Los Angeles. The circuit boy look was definitely the thing to have, but not totally necessary as it is in Miami or Palm Springs. Everything was much more relaxed, which is good for me, since I can only manage that type of look for a day or two at the most. My biggest complaint was that I was never at a venue with any Salsa music or dancing, it was just generally reruns of the usual, though much more global. There were Mariachi Bands on the beach at times, so that was fun. I had absolutely no trouble in meeting men, in fact I had just gotten down to the beach after checking in, before I was surrounded by 3 striking teenage boy/men who absolutely had to get to know me! And then, that same evening, we were led to a happy hour at the Vallarta Cora which is a small hotel/brothel just a block or two up the hill. There, the thing to do was to get in the pool, sling your suit up on the side and grap a cocktail, then you just engaged in a mass grope until you found what you wanted, got a towel and wandered back to their party rooms where just about anything was permitted. My next eye opener was at Anthropology which was a gorgeous bar and had the most engaging strippers I had seen in a very long time. That show lasted for two hours, with one great looking man after another, in fact, so many, that after their first dance, I had completely forgotten who was who when they did their second number, so it was like a never ending feast. They all had fantasic bodies, and all had been choreographed by a true erotic, so it was quite entertaining. The smallest paper currency is a 20 peso note, or the equivalent of $2.00, which was quite upsetting to my friends who have a very strict $1.00 rule. This worked to my advantage as I tip any man in a g-string, so to keep things cool, I had to tip them several times to make up for my dear friends. My friends then insisted that if they were going to be giving out $2.00 tips, that they had to see the meat. One thing for sure is that these boys definitely talk to each other, so for the rest of the week I was constantly being shown one big dick after another, and at the Ranch (my favorite bar), their strippers who are even more erotic, all surrounded me with their dicks at one of their finales, which is a memory I will forever keep close. We found strippers at 3 bars, Balcones, Anthropology, and the Ranch. Most will do private shows in the back for about $50.00 and 15 minutes, and will either just offer you a show, or are more than easily approachable. They remain engorged, but not really hard, and you can do most anything you could do with a guy from the Gaiety where the going rate seems to be $200.00 for about the same thing. All of the stippers could easily be Gaiety dancers, and I suppose that a few of them are probably in New York half-time. Most of them were also willing to come back to our hotel for a true sexual experience for $200.00 which we chose not to try since their private shows left us so frustrated! The fact was, that all over the Zona, and particularly at the Latin Fever parties, all you had to do was buy a guy a drink and engage in a little conversation before you had a date that could last for an hour, an evening, or the week. Their biggest solicitation seems to be offering you a massage (for about $50.00), so I had a massage twice a day, and I cannot tell you how relaxed the whole experience made me. There is nothing more engaging than a young Mexican man's smile, and when he gives you one, there is no doubt about what it offers, and that Antonio Banderas look is my all time favorite. My good fortune was to meet an older guy from Mexico City at Anthropology, who was trying to improve his English as much as I was trying to improve my Spanish, and had a whole posse of young guys staying with him at his condo. This seems to be a trend, and we encountered numerous groups led by one or two older men who happened to have a condo. My other good fortune was deciding to go on an adventure by myself, so one day I took a taxi, and then a really little boat, over to Paco's Paradise Beach, which is isolated in the jungle way south of town. There I had this poor boatman trying to help me out onto the dock with my paraphanalia, who then handed me over to Gorge, the ultimate beachboy! And, before I knew what was happening, I was ensconsed under a palm tree, Corona in hand, watching a whole group of Italians playing volleyball in the nude. Eventually I did recover, and was able to do some great snorkling, so it wasn't all just sex, sex, sex! I tried to scope out as many gay guesthouses as I could, and they all seemed to be really great deals. Most were not on the beach, but since the Zona is on a rather steep hill (mountain!), all seem to have great views of the Bay, and are really only a few blocks to beach. The thing to do, apparantly, is to take a taxi back up the hill, so they are always ready and waiting, and cost about $2.00. I was trying to get my legs in shape for skiing, which worked well, I haven't had any quad/calf pain for more than a day this season (last year I really suffured, sometimes for a week). Since I did stay at a a hotel which had a discrete back gate, there was no trouble getting my visitors in and out (they all understood the situation), I don't really know how difficult it is to entertain at a regular commercial hotel. I think that it may be difficult at some, no so difficult at others, but I will probably stay at the Blue Chairs on my next visit which actually seemed rather sedate, considering what was going on. I was also worried about meals, since they really don't have a restaurant, but they are only 2 or 3 blocks from the center of the Zona, and dozens of little places. We were at an al-inclusive, so I only went to dinner twice, both at really good gay restaurants, the Kit-Kat, and the Adobe (snapper with papaya!). My other find was Garbo, which has to be the best Martini bar in the world. There were never very many people there except for a few nights when there was a jumble of lesbians (who also predominate at Apache, which is much too small), but the drinks & the old standard music were fantastic! In all, Puerto Vallarta was just wonderful, it's small but very civilized, easy to manage with everything I needed in one area of town, colorful and charming, and did I say, friendly!

[Big Daddy]

I am very happy that someone else has posted their experience in Vallarta. Your post mirrored my experience. The people were all so friendly. It felt like being at home. There is no shortage of guys, either the play for pay variety or play for "love" variety. I arranged to meet a dancer from the Ranch at my hotel and it was $120.00. This was a top of the line guy, easily an 11 on a 10 scale. Getting a "friend" into the hotel was cumbersome but do able. We stayed at the Sheraton and simply listed an extra person in our suite. (My friend George and I each had a suite.) We did not bother to tell the front desk that we were bringing in a different friend each night. The security guards were very annoying, but each time they checked to see if we had an additional person registered, we did. The 20 peso note was an issue if you have a $1 limit. I also only tipped when I got to see the merchandize, hard and close.

 

Glad you had a good as time as we did.

 

Big Daddy

[trilingual]

Thanks, Jackboy, for a really excellent, descriptive and detailed posting on PV! I hope other travelers will follow your example and post their experiences south of the U.S. of A.. There's a lot of territory to report on between Tijuana and Tierra del Fuego, so please share your experiences, fellow travelers! :9

[+ Lucky]

Jackboy, I too appreciate your post as I am a PV fan. This year aI am opting for a cruise instead.

Could I make one tiny suggestion though? Your post is very long, which I don't mind, but it would be easier to read if you used paragraphing to break it down. Thanks.