The Best Awful....

[Okliehomo]

That's what last night was....

 

When you get the best looking man that you have ever ever, EVER seen in your bed and it just doesn't click....

 

Not that there weren't warning signs. I saw them and gosh, so expertly denied them. I am new to this after all, right?? I sent emails about his services. Weeks later, he responded and never directly addressing my requests, just "accepting my offer". A few more emails and he wants to book his own travel.... NEVER gives out his own name etc, again because I am so new to this and such a risk to his oh, so private life. OK. I agree to that. Then he wants a 25% deposit with the airfare... OK.... stupidly... and then he wants me to send it to his HOME address in this small town in a non cool state. I have to use Fed Ex so I get a fucking tracking number, for God sakes... and it required a signature. So, I end up knowing what I don't give a shit about in the first damned place. Such a fucking ruse for nothing....

 

But he does keep in touch and he does show up. Just fucking perfect, all surfer boy hot, with huge shoulders and chest and this sexy, sexy, sexy swagger and a true swimmer's build... tight waist and rock hard ads and an ass like I have never seen before. Bubbled like Alencar, rock hard like Racek, sweet as candy like Arpad's... but better than all of them. Really. Perfect. Gorgeous. Delicious. And a face. Wow. Sawyer. Costner. Brett Cullen. Reeves. And this crazy, sexy, shaggy, surfer boy haircut that hung all around his face...

 

The best, right? Did I mention that he was straight? No,I didn't, because I didn't know it. His reviews certainly didn't say that!

 

Then he gets in the car. First thing, he tells me that he has changed his return flight because he has things to take care of... from 3 pm to 10 am... not what we agreed upon. He says, "I usually charge $2000 for overnites... and I have travelled 9 hours.." which, I guess, was supposed to make me see what a bargain I was getting and that I shouldn't complain about the time change. So, I asked him, "Why such a special rate for me???" He said, " I just wanted to meet you... see Oklahoma.. and you sounded so cool, dude.."

 

OK, we get back to the room ( after a stop at Wendy's because he is starving, dude)... and he doesn't have a clue. I am like, "Want to take a shower??" and he looks at me like, "Why?" and then it dawns on him, "Oh, dude, what are you into??" I ask, "Didn't you read my very, VERY explicit emails?" and he says, "Dude, I get so many........".. so, I explain it all again and he heads for the shower.

 

I, as per usual, head for the icebox to get a beer. By this time, with this guy, I needed one. Bad. He takes his time and when he emerges, it is spectacular. Much better than I had hoped for. So, then, he says, " Let's get the business out of the way... so that I can just relax and enjoy myself.... blah, blah, blah...." I must have looked a little pissed, so he says, "Nothing personal, dude.... it's not like I don't trust you..." then I proceed to give him the money. So, we start again, and the boy won't kiss. And my email said "Kissing is essential" but he is ducking and darting and doing everything he can to avoid contact with me. And for the record, I am a great kisser. Ask David. So, I ask, "What's the deal?" He says, " I don't like the taste of beer.. nothing personal, dude" OK.... that's truly a first. 100 guys and no one else has complained, but I go brush my teeth and when I get back, it still ain't happening. Oh, yeah, that's because he is straight. Lucky me. Eventually, I take the lead and get him hard and get what I am after....... his oh so perfect ass... but he was as about as into it as a dishrag. In fairness, we did that two more times but I am the one that had to make it happen. He would have been just as happy to lay there and check his emails and see if his girlfriend had called yet....

 

I was home by 10:30 am. NEVER before. NO morning sex.

 

Let's recap:

 

Booked his own travel, asked for airfare and a deposit upfront and then wanted the rest of it before any deeds were done.... and then wouldn't kiss....

 

 

Apparently, I AM new to this and do not have the good sense to stick with guys like David and Ty and stay the Hell away from straight men...

 

DUMB AS DIRT IN OK.

[curious2000]

Sorry that you had such a disappointing experience with this terrible escort. You usually have great luck and I have always enjoyed reading about your impressive times with all the hot guys you hire. Are you going to reveal who he is so others won't fall for this dud of a dude? How did you find him? what escort site? You always have good taste in men, so i am so curious to know who he is. it sucks that he did not live up to what he agreed to and you got burned. Don't beat yourself up, you have such a great track record. Sometimes you just get stuck with a bad escort. but I am sure you will get back on track when you have recovered from this awful experience and re-hire a sure fire hot guy from you stable of regulars, or find a new one and put this bad time behind you.

[JT Brooklyn]

OKIE! Ya can't leave us hanging on this one? Especially since it sounds like your not going to Review him, with probably a "He Said-He Said" Outcome for a Response. IF he even bothers to Respond. I notice most STR8 donot bother with what is said in their Reviews!

 

Especially since this guy probably appeals to a couple of different tastes and will probably Burn more than a few around here, a NAME to go with the Fine Butt would help!

 

I did notice that he did "Cancel Out" a few Previous BEST in the Butt Guys! In the Circles you hang out in that's Damn Hard to do guy! ;-)

[ariadne1880]

I can empathize with this one. I recently hired one of the best-reviewed guys in Chicago who is described as "very handsome" and "ripped." He only shows a black and white photo when he advertises and no face but you see enough to think that that description is accurate.

 

I was shocked when he showed up. He was beefy, no defined abs. And if that black and white photo was of him I'd like to know how because the jaw line and cheek bones in that photo didn't match the round face I met.

 

And I didn't find his body or his face the least bit "hot" or attractive.

 

But what do I know? He has many positive reviews ... perhaps he sent his fatter, less attractive brother.

[+ newatthis]

>I can empathize with this one. I recently hired one of the

>best-reviewed guys in Chicago who is described as "very

>handsome" and "ripped." ...

>

>I was shocked when he showed up. He was beefy, no defined abs.

>And if that black and white photo was of him I'd like to know

>how because the jaw line and cheek bones in that photo didn't

>match the round face I met.

 

So please let us know whom you're talking about!

[ariadne1880]

When Okie shares, I will! I did submit a review ... let's see if it gets published!

[Okliehomo]

Sorry. Can't in good faith do that. I have cooled down quite a bit and have realized that a lot of what went on, I should have seen coming. I compromised the way that I like to do business and every time that I do that, I am disappointed. He's not an evil guy, or out to rip anyone off. He just does what he is capable of doing... as a straight man. I actually went back and read his reviews again. And they are fucking glowing, but not very consistent. While they all say "BI", they also all say "Kissing" but some say "Gives oral" and one says "Kink: Dominant" and yet another says "Kink: Submissive" and one even lists him as "Versatile"... and the guy that I met this last Sunday was NONE of those things. So, who misled me here? Him, for sure. But they did as well. But maybe I have given up the high road here by not naming him and by not writing a bad review... but then again, maybe he did do all those things with them and just couldn't with me?? One does wonder.

 

You know, I think that my real disappointment is that this guy should have been the best. God knows, he had the body for it. But what he didn't have is a real, true and intense desire for another man. And I am so done with that.

 

I had our now retired Eric out here in March with yet another straight man, Mike/NE (who appears to have retired as well)... and I tell you boys that I never will forget the look on Eric's face when he had Mike face down on the bed, his hands on each side of his ass and he just opened him up and this wicked, wicked, wicked smile flashed across Eric's face and he said, "Look at that... all pink and pretty".. and he dove right in, tongue first and made Mike squirm like all the "cunts" ....( Mike's word... you all know I prefer pussy...NOT) that he had fucked before.... and when he got him wet enough, he fucked him long, and hard and deep with that same wicked smile ... and with his eyes on me, making sure that I knew how much he was enjoying that ass. That's a man with a true and intense desire (like David, like Ty, like Alencar) and that's a class act and that's somebody that will truly be missed around here.

 

So, I am done with last Sunday. My hope is that he is Bi and dominant and submissive and versatile and gives oral and kisses, kisses, kisses and that I was just the issue, but I ain't quite convinced.

 

Ah, men...

 

Okie

[JT Brooklyn]

After all the "Upside" to this Adventure, about what a "Total Hunk" this guy is....JT wouldn't mind taking a shot with him. Sure does sound workable. I've been very Lucky with the guys who have been reported to have been not all that interactive on different occasions!

 

BUT alas' we will never know who he was. So I guess I will just have to stick to my Mystery Jersey Hunk!

 

;-)

[+ purplekow]

I am at a loss as to why you would start this post and then not name the escort or submit a review. As a cautionary tale, this does not work. This guy did not pull some new stunt to trick you into a bad time for a lot of money. He is counting on an old attitude of silence to allow him to do it others. So while I have some empathy for your bad time, I add you the list of the colluders that allows this guy to go unscathed to his next victim.

 

 

I have never seen a purplekow;

I never hope to see one;

I can tell you anyhow;

I'd rather see than be one

 

Help there is a purplekow in my mirror

[Rick Munroe]

>I add you to the

>list of the colluders that allows this guy to go unscathed to

>his next victim.

 

That was very Nancy Grace.

[+ purplekow]

I usually think of myself as graceful not Graceful but if one voice can change....blah blah blah blah blah actually that should be yada da da yada da da yada da da

I have never seen a purplekow;

I never hope to see one;

I can tell you anyhow;

I'd rather see than be one

 

Help there is a purplekow in my mirror

[JT Brooklyn]

Rick....L O L!!!

[Okliehomo]

Not really looking for empathy. I was just sharing an experience and if you weren't interested in it, I guess, you didn't have to read it. As I said in my last post, I have concluded that most of what transpired that was not to my liking was my own damned fault for pursuing something contrary to how I normally do business.

 

There is no attitude of silence about this guy. He has reviews, good ones, none of which reflect the time that I had with him. So, maybe it was just me and I am not about to publicly blast the guy for that.

 

And it was not a bad time. He was fucking gorgeous and had possibly the best ass ever and I got off three times being smothered by it. The disappointment was that with his looks it should have been even better....and that I would have liked to have done it three more times in the morning...so maybe I am just greedy? Maybe. Bottom line. I was disppointed because it had all the makings of a perfect encounter and when that didn't happen, I was a little pissed. If he had been a complete flake or had really ripped me off, I would have no qualms about naming him. I still bitch about Aiden Shaw all the time. Publicly. But what happened with him doesn't warrant that. It was just a unique experience for me and I wanted to share it.

 

That's it.

 

Okie

[ariadne1880]

With me, the problem was exactly the opposite. The guy didn't look a thing like the photos he uses to advertise. Not one bit. Not even close. And yet the reviews say he is "gorgeous" "handsome" and "ripped" while I thought he looked ordinary, beefy, with no abs and a round moon face.

[whipped guy]

Re: He has reviews, good ones...So, maybe it was just me and I am not about to publicly blast the guy for that. And it was not a bad time.

 

Okie... I think that is actually a classy approach... especially if you thought is was simply your frame of mind at the time, or possibly related to some grandiose expectations on your part.

 

Shoot, I had an experience with a guy who at last count has received well over 50 positive and stellar reviews... and still counting. He did something to rub me the wrong way... and that nixed it for me... which just goes to prove that in any business it is impossible to connect perfectly with every client one hundred percent of the time. That is just a simple fact of life.

 

In retrospect I probably did overreact... and in fairness to the guy he tried his darnedest to make sure I was having a good time... and in the end it was really not a bad time at all. However, when dealing with "specialists" in my field overreacting is a defense mechanism to nip any potential safety problems in the bud... I personally would not hire him again. However, it probably would have been unfair to submit a negative review... or as you say "publicly blast the guy" for something that might have been partially a consequence of my mood and frame of mind at that point in time.

[+ purplekow]

Are you saying you don't have the writing skills to present a fair depiction of what transpired, positive and negative, and leave it up to the reader as to the significance of each aspect? I don't think you have to "blast" someone in order to criticize and let the reader decide. For example, I recently spent an evening with Talvin DeMachio, I was disappointed to find him wearing red underwear, as red is not my favorite color. Once the offending underwear were off, Mr. DeMachio did not disappoint.

 

Okiehomo started this thread with a statement that there were plenty of signs that this might not work and he ignored them. Now he is taking the stance that he was at fault. My guess it is a bit of both and identifying the escort would give some additional information for other clients to consider.

 

You suggest that 50 positive reviews should not be cancelled by one negative. Well write the negative one as a fair depiction of what happened and let the chips fall where they may.

[+ purplekow]

>Not really looking for empathy. I was just sharing an

>experience and if you weren't interested in it, I guess, you

>didn't have to read it.

 

Well you can never tell the value of a post until you read it and I did not know you would eventually take blame for the session not being as successful as you wanted. It was pretty clearly stated in your first post that Escort X gave clues that you missed or ignored and as a result you had less than a successful experience. You have now reconsidered and now it is your fault, you set expectations too high and Escort X did a reasonable job after all. Perhaps in the next post you will reconsider that you did not tip Escort X enough and tell us you sent him a check to make up for it.

It is not that I am not interested, you seem by your posts to be a reasonable person, considered in his dealings and fairly straight forward. This thread does not seem to be in your usual assured voice.

 

 

I have never seen a purplekow;

I never hope to see one;

I can tell you anyhow;

I'd rather see than be one

 

Help there is a purplekow in my mirror

[whipped guy]

Re: This thread does not seem to be in your usual assured voice.

 

Actually I think Okie (who I dare say is a special favorite of quite a few posters here...) was riding an emotional rollercoaster when he began this thread. Several days later a calmer and more rational Okie (the Okie we all know and love) put the entire experience into a more cogent perspective. That is why it is always best to always react in a logical and coherent manner and why it is usually best not to let one’s emotions cloud one’s thinking. Still, that’s human nature and we are all only human… and especially when things of a sexual nature are involved…

[Okliehomo]

See, it's not my writing skills or my usually assured voice that is in question here. I told you all what happened and how I was disappointed and yeah, it was more than "Hey, go change your underwear".... but my experience doesn't negate all his other reviews. It really wasn't meant as a "cautionary tale".... Who am I ? Chaucer? I was just venting about a situation in which I didn't follow my own best instincts and yet still, looking back, I got to be on my back, looking up at his magnificent backside as he slowly, slowly, slowly sat down on my very eager tongue. Not as many times as I would have liked him to, and some kissing would have been nice, but see, it wasn't all bad. He might very well be the BEST looking man that I have ever rimmed and that it wasn't the best sex I have ever had, is where the AWFUL part comes in.

 

I am not going to review him, and I am not going to tell anyone his name. If that's a disservice to this board, sorry. If it puts my credibility on this site in question, oh well. It helped me to vent a bit and post what I did about that night. But I wasn't wanting to get rid of my frustration at his expense. And still don't. That's why I didn't tell you his name in the first place. He is not a fraud, not a rip off. Not a real danger to anyone. And if he was, I would tell you.

 

Again. That's it.

 

Oh, and yeah, I did send him a check because I do know his real name and where he lives and his ass was sweet, sweet, sweet.

 

Okie

[Bart]

Despite all the desire to know who, you guys just totally missed the point of this post. Okie was simply stating he fell for a pretty face and acted irresponsible. He paid money down, he paid the whole funds when he arrived and Dam it we have all done it while staring at a gorgeous hunk of meat and acting like a blithering idiot.

 

You guys know what it is like, you stare at an ad, his reviews indicate he is not a rip off artist, and then when you meet the guy he is even better looking than you ever imagined. You have held off for days so your hormones are at critical mass. Then being the good guy you are and your little head, well for some of us it actually has more brains than our big one, runs the show.

 

Dam it, dam it, dam it after that first shot across those abs you think oh fuck I could have had, no not a V-8, but one of the tried and true great ones and you have had so many. But all of us fall into that got to have it mode, at all costs.

 

Whether it is the model face, the gorgeous ass, a huge perfect piece of meat that you surely believe is man-made, or abs so tight you could wash clothes on we all fall victim to our desires and you leave going "What went wrong." You do not feel taken as much as what just happened here and fell incredulous.

 

Unfortunately, you smolder for a few days, you victimize yourself, you review the scene at least a 100 times, you write a nasty email 10 times, but never send it, you are finally overcome with resignation, you tell yourself never again and may go days without reading a review and then the human body takes over and slowly your desires returns, maybe you get a email from one of the guys you really like and actually talks to you. Then the welcome back party begins.

 

At which point is the best time to write that negative review, a dilema I have faced several times, but really not the point of this thread, but the emotional let down of a meeting that just did not meet expectations in your own mind.

[ariadne1880]

RE: The Best Awful....Marchello

 

I have no problem revealing the escort's name .... it was Marchello in Chicago. A total and complete disappointment. I am not comforted by the fact that I have since heard from two other posters here that they had the same experience with him and that he looked nothing like the photos which he uses to advertise.

 

That, to me, is the difference between my experience (and theirs) and Okie's. It couldn't be my fault if the guy uses photos to advertise that no longer look like him. That to me is dishonest and fraudulent.

 

It has since been explained to me -- by someone who talked to him after our encounter -- that he was in an accident 18 months ago and his workouts have been sporadic which accounts for the no longer ripped, muscular, and hot body.

 

However much I might sympathize with that situation ... it is still fraudulent to lead clients to believe that they will be getting what is pictured. Change your pictures or tell the client upfront that you no longer look like that. That's only fair.

 

But the face problem cannot be explained away in this manner. In his photo you can see 3/4 of his face and his wavy hair. The guy I met had straight flat hair in somewhat of a bowl cut and a roundish face that had nothing of the cheekbones and jawline of that black and white photo.

 

I don't really know what's going on with this escort and why he gets some great reviews.

 

Mark

[whipped guy]

Re: Who am I Chaucer?

 

Okie… No you are not Chaucer… but your postings here could be collected and entitled The Oklahoma Tales… regarding the exploits of a number of working guys making the pilgrimage to your “Oklahoma Cathedral”… and please be assured that any escort would be honored to make it into your collection of Tales either through a formal review or a simple mention (anonymously or otherwise) in these pages. We are lucky to have such a wise and astute contributor to these pages… So just as Chaucer is considered to be the “Father of English Literature”… and a philosopher to boot... in a sense Okie is our “Father” as well for his postings with their special insights, wisdom, humor, good judgment, etc… etc... etc...

[JT Brooklyn]

Whipman..OKIE is Our Father? Being as how some around here are not "Spring" Chickens..

 

That would make him just in time for Father's Day around 90 Years Old!

 

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY OKIE! L O L ;-)

[Guest zipperzone]

Hey Okie:

 

Sorry to hear of your bum encounter (no pun intended) but...... I've been thinking about it and have come to the conclusion that if you had him back for a 2nd session - as foolhardy as that may sound - you might find it very enjoyable. You tell us he has the gretest ass God ever made. You like munching great asses and he clearly lets you do that, so.....

 

With lessened expectations due to you prior experience, you might just find this hottie a worthwhile regular (sort of)

 

And as he gets to know you better he might just enlarge his repertoire.

[Rick Munroe]

>Okie… No you are not Chaucer… but your postings here could be

>collected and entitled The Oklahoma Tales…

 

Or better yet, "I'll Cry The Day After Tomorrow." :+

 

http://www.weirdwildrealm.com/filmimages/crytomorrow-hayward.jpg