Has anyone encountered this situation before?

[Guest zipperzone]

Don't overlook the fact that you have had many good experiences with him. This one bad one could be nothing more than a blip. If you feel writing a bad review will make YOU feel better, go ahead. But it's not the charitable thing to do IMO.

[+ purplekow]

>Don't overlook the fact that you have had many good

>experiences with him. This one bad one could be nothing more

>than a blip. If you feel writing a bad review will make YOU

>feel better, go ahead. But it's not the charitable thing to do

>IMO.

He has already been charitable enough in making that donation for this encounter. Be fair, not charitable. The $300 you save could be mine.

 

I have never seen a purplekow;

I never hope to see one;

I can tell you anyhow;

I'd rather see than be one

 

Help there is a purplekow in my mirror

[buckguy]

Being a little less energetic or responsive than previous appointments would be a "blip"; the whole getting drunk, passing out, etc. is a major problem and you wouldn't tolerate it from any other service provider. If this guy is still advertising and capable of doing this again, then he needs a wake-up call as much as the rest of us need a warning. Moreover, the review can mention something about past appointments, to give some perspective.

 

FWIW, I just submitted a negative review on someone previously unreviewed, so I can appreciate the difficulty of preparing a negative review but it actually helped me think through the encounter and I think it will be useful to others. It took a long time to compose, and I'll be curious if the escort offers a response.

[Jlelland]

Why does the word "obsessing" come to mind?

Oh well, this thread beats watching the Iowa Caucus returns on tv.

[+ Tom Isern]

I find this kind of thinking particularly vexing: An escort fucks up once and some here rush to conclude that the guy needs to be panned and publicly flogged so other people can avoid making the "mistake" of ever hiring him again, ignoring that this guy has a positive past record, apparently even with the guy eager to write the negative review.

 

The truth is that NONE of us knows what happened here. Maybe his mother was killed in a car accident the day before the encounter. Maybe he's dead or in jail. Maybe he's in AA and not escorting any more, ignoring his phone and email. The ads would continue to run until $$ ran out.

 

Basic sleuthing 101: Get a friend to call and email the guy and ask to see him. Then you'll at least know if he is ignoring you in particular or if he's unreachable. Or dead. Why do so many people on this site seem so eager to rush to judgment on these things??

 

Okay, sermon over...sorry.

[flguy]

After reading the entire thread, finally tom brings up the best point. How do you know he is still out there? Have you seen him, has someone else you know been with him? He could be in jail, dead or the hospital. I agree, have someone else attempt for an appointment with him and see if there is a legitimate response. Just because you send emails and voicemail doesn't mean the intended person got them.

[ariadne1880]

Dear Mr. Isern:

 

All that you mention under your "Basic Sleuthing 101" has already been done. This situation occurred more than 6 weeks ago. I did my homework before bringing it to the forum.

 

And I resent your use of the word "eager" to describe my asking if a negative review should be written. It should be obvious to anyone with a 5th grade education that the situation has left me deeply divided and that I am not eager to do anything. If I were, the review would have been written, posted, and I never would have asked for advice in the first place.

 

I would have thought that much would have been obvious.

 

The dog didn't eat this escort's homework, grandma didn't die, and his bike wasn't run over by the neighbor's car.

 

I wonder in what other professional circumstance (the pilot of your plane, the waitress who serves you your food, the guy who does your taxes, the kid who mows the lawn, etc.) this kind of behavior by a professional would have been acceptable and payment should have been made.

 

Cheers,

Mark

[Gar1eth]

>I find this kind of thinking particularly vexing: An escort

>fucks up once and some here rush to conclude that the guy

>needs to be panned and publicly flogged so other people can

>avoid making the "mistake" of ever hiring him again, ignoring

>that this guy has a positive past record, apparently even with

>the guy eager to write the negative review.

>

>The truth is that NONE of us knows what happened here. Maybe

>his mother was killed in a car accident the day before the

>encounter. Maybe he's dead or in jail. Maybe he's in AA and

>not escorting any more, ignoring his phone and email. The ads

>would continue to run until $$ ran out.

>

>Basic sleuthing 101: Get a friend to call and email the guy

>and ask to see him. Then you'll at least know if he is

>ignoring you in particular or if he's unreachable. Or dead.

>Why do so many people on this site seem so eager to rush to

>judgment on these things??

>

>Okay, sermon over...sorry.

 

 

Tom,

 

I think you make an awful lot of sense a lot of the time--however in this case, I think you are over empathizing with the escort at the expense of the client--possibly because of the shared profession.

 

Yes something awful might have happened in the escort's life--then he should have cancelled. If Aridane and the escort were regulars--Ariadne would probably have understood. And yes I understand some,(probably most) do this job primarily for the money and may really need the money--but c'mon.

 

Let's picture the reverse situation--without the money. If the client had arrived, drank a large part of the escort's vodka--fell asleep in the escort's bed and couldn't be awakened for 8 hours--what would you have been saying about the client?

 

Gman

[SteveStacks]

Wow. That sounds like a pretty awful night for everyone involved.

This would be why people should NEVER get drunk on the job. *sigh*

 

As zipperzone astutely points out “As for feeling ripped of? Well you could look at it this way. You have had many sessions with him that ran overtime and you paid him the agreed upon rate for the time contracted, not the overtime. So consider that the $$$ has come out about even, all thing considered.”

 

Hopefully, in the end, we all receive the same compassion from others that we’re willing to extend to them ourselves. I wish the best for both you guys.….I hope you can work this out.

[ariadne1880]

Where in any of my comments here did I say that the escort "had to stay past the agreed upon time" in many sessions before? I never said that. He often stayed past the 2 or 3 hours we agreed to because he CHOSE TO, not because I asked or expected it. That was his choice, I always made it clear that he could leave after the agreed upon time. But he was not a clock watcher, and he always said he was having a good time ... so he stayed. Should I have asked him to leave so as not to leave the wrong impression?

 

I find some of the responses here preposterous. The escort may be upset to discover we weren't "friends" and so, somehow, this is all my fault?

 

I'm sorry but is this serious? This happened on Thanksgiving night after we had both spent the day with our families. I never spent time with the guy outside of the hiring situation. We were friendly -- as we all are with guys we hire regularly -- but we were not friends. Perhaps some don't know the difference.

 

When he started unloading about his family situation and his issues, I listened because I felt bad for the guy. But since he was hired for 3 hours and wasn't there to be my friend he should have said something along the lines of .... "I had a really bad day, I need someone to talk to, can we forget the client thing and just talk tonight?"

 

I would have said "of course" because then we would have been venturing into friends territory. He didn't do that. Perhaps I should have but I figured that that is what was happening and that I didn't need it to be said. What changed everything was in the morning when he took the money when he CLEARLY had not done what he was hired to do. I am sorry to be blunt and sound like an asshole but I don't pay escorts $200 per hour to listen to them complain about their problems. If I wanted to do that, it would be different. I am the client and the one paying. It would be like going to your accountant to have your taxes done and doing his taxes instead while still paying him.

 

I don't want to write this review. I want the guy to step up, accept responsibility, and apologize. He clearly will not do that.

 

I also think I did the responsible thing by not throwing him out -- which I think a lot of people would have done -- because he would have been driving while drunk. I was not going to allow him to do that.

 

Oh, and one last thing that I have shared with some who have written me privately. Just before he passed out, he said "I cannot control myself, but I still can control you. Don't try anything."

 

Those don't sound like the words of a friend.

 

Yes, we had great experiences in the past but that sounds like someone saying ... "we had a great marriage until the night he cheated on me."

 

Here ended the lesson.

 

Mark

[JT Brooklyn]

ariadne. You did come here with a Question. BUT Ya know the Old saying.. "You might not like the answer"! Which apparently in some cases is your story now!

 

BUT IF you find some of the well meaning answers "preposterous" maybe it is time to put this to rest in your mind? I'm not sure now what your bothered most by, The Guy or the Money?

 

In this "Profession" Guys and Money both cum and go! Unfortunately some take this Hobby waaay to seriously IMHO of course!

 

;-)

[Guest josephga]

I personally would have given the money back. Iv given over 7000 massages and twice i gave the money back or offered a free session. both times i worked while not feeling well and knew minutes into it that i was going to do a crappy job..

[+ Tom Isern]

Mark,

 

The irony in your response to me is that my comments were mainly directed at others on the board, not you. As a regular reader, I've often noted the "rush to judgment" attitude that troubles me. But you sure got your hackles up. You "resent" my response and imply that I'm missing a 5th grade education--that's funny. You may not be "eager" to write this review, but something is really stuck in your craw here and it's clearly eating away at you. What's up with that? Do you really think you'll feel better after you write your review?

 

What is obvious to me is that you've lost objectivity and that you are pissed off--your anger is spilling out all over this thread. If that's the condition you'd like to be in when you write a review, be my guest.

 

I'm sorry that I offended you so much. It was not my intent.

[+ Tom Isern]

You're right, Gman. After all, escorts do get to respond to reviews if they want.

 

I'm just leery of the notion that prevails around this site that the review (good OR bad) tells the "truth" about the escort and that any review is a summary judgment when it is really just one person's perspective at a given time. We tend to over-rate reviews in general, and REVIEWERS in particular, I'm afraid.

[Guest josephga]

I agree that post reviews good or bad are over rated. dont even read the ones i get on the massage sites. I think most people in general dont even bother writing a review on the services they get from any provider..

[buckguy]

Thanksgiving was a second string holiday for us, so I've never really gotten the insane veneration of it. I can understand it's a day that rattles other people but if he was having a bad day, he should have canceled.

 

Yes, it's difficult to write a negative review, but it sounds like he's not being a stand-up guy. Most of us have gotten attached to guys we've seen a few times, but that's all the more reason to put things in perspective. For all any of us knows, he may have gone off like this at Christmas, too. Your previous experiences can certainly be mentioned in a negative review.

[Guest zipperzone]

>I don't want to write this review.

 

Then don't. No one is forcing you to.

 

>I also think I did the responsible thing by not throwing him

>out -- which I think a lot of people would have done --

>because he would have been driving while drunk. I was not

>going to allow him to do that.

 

You're a real saint.

 

>Oh, and one last thing that I have shared with some who have

>written me privately. Just before he passed out, he said "I

>cannot control myself, but I still can control you. Don't try

>anything."

 

>Those don't sound like the words of a friend.

 

Quite frankly, I don't believe that. If he had said that, you would have included it in your first post. It is just something you have dreamed up to strengthen your point of view

 

>Yes, we had great experiences in the past but that sounds like

>someone saying ... "we had a great marriage until the night he

>cheated on me."

 

And what would be wrong with saying that? It could be the case.

[+ Tygerscent]

Make one last effort to talk to this person and find out what is going on with him. Inquire to him before going public. Sounds like something of greater depth then just a bad night. We don't know and were not there. He may or may not know completely... You don't know and you were with him. Outside opinions will just be subjective view points.... go to the source if he is willing and able to talk about it with you. Seek for understanding and not retribution or repraisal... If you are worried about you or you are worried about him or concerned about both and what has gone awry in your working relationship together as well as personal understanding of each other try to talk with him directly, confidentially. Sounds like there are some bigger issues going on. I am not saying He is in the right or you are in the right. I am saying that the two of you seem to have some histroy together... enough perhaps to say: Hey, I am worried about you. Whats up?

Tyger!

tygerkink@yahoo.com

503.317.8055

http://www.tygerscent.biz/Galleries.html

http://www.tygerscent.biz

http://www.daddysreviews.com/area.php?loc=63150&who=tyger_portland

men4rentnow.com tygerscent in Portland, Oregon

[+ Unicorn]

>Then I hired him recently and he showed up pretty smashed. I

>figured we'd become familiar enough with each other that I

>wasn't going to complain but then he went to my freezer and

>took out a bottle of vodka and drank about a good half bottle.

>He started moaning and complaining about his life and his

>problems (I listened and tried to offer advice). After about

>90 minutes of this, he said "oh, I guess we better get to it."

>He stripped to his shorts (his shirt had already been off the

>whole time) and we went to the bed. After around 20 minutes,

>he got sick and ran tot he bathroom, came back to the bed, and

>passed out.

>

>He was OUT for 8 hours. He had been scheduled to be in my

>suite for 3 hours. I couldn't rouse him and didn't try. In the

>morning, when he woke up he was still pretty out of it.

 

>>Also, to clarify, I didn't realize he was drunk when he arrived. I only realize that later. He has ADHD and he's always like that so I didn't pick up on it right away. He always has a drink when he arrives but I didn't expect him to drink 1/2 to 3/4 of a bottle of vodka in the space of 30 minutes.<<

 

Here are my thoughts on the matter.

(1) Your statement that "he showed up pretty smashed" is absolutely inconsistent with "I didn't realize he was drunk when he arrived." I don't care if you're the least observant person on the planet. One statement precludes the other.

(2) I don't believe for a moment that you didn't realize that he was continuing to drink no less than half a bottle of vodka in 30 minutes. Did you leave the room?

(3) The time to cancel the appointment was when "he showed up pretty smashed."

(4) Allowing someone who's quite drunk to continue drinking himself silly is very questionable ethically. I'm not sure about how legal it is, either (I know bartenders can get into trouble for doing this).

(5) The guy was so drunk that you couldn't rouse him. That's called being in a coma. Did it ever occur to you to call an ambulance? Did it ever occur to you that he might die? Just FYI, this comes from wikipedia:

" * Stupor (BAC = 0.25 to 0.40%)

o Movement severely impaired; lapses in and out of consciousness.

o Subjects can slip into a coma; will become completely unaware of surroundings, time passage, and actions.

o Risk of death is very high due to alcohol poisoning and/or pulmonary aspiration of vomit while unconscious.

 

* Coma (BAC = 0.35 to 0.50%)

o Unconsciousness sets in.

o Reflexes are depressed (i.e., pupils do not respond appropriately to changes in light).

o Breathing is slower and more shallow. Heart rate drops. Death usually occurs at levels in this range.

 

* Death (BAC more than 0.50%)

o Can cause central nervous system to fail, resulting in death."

In other words, there's a fine line between being in an alcoholic coma and being dead. Incidentally, it takes much more than half a bottle of vodka to get to these level, even if consumed within a 30 minute time-frame, so if he drank no more than 3/4 of a bottle at your place, I do believe your first statement that he came in "pretty smashed."

(6) I can't believe you're so obsessed with $300 when this guy almost died on your watch.

(7) What I do believe is that you're pissed off because the guy won't respond to your multiple e-mails. Although the possibility exists that he's been incarcerated during this time, obviously he hasn't been in a hospital the whole time. Yes, he is probably just being rude (assuming your e-mails have been polite and didn't insinuate that he should return the $300). Yes, he is being immature. The fact is that he obviously has serious mental health problem and is embarrassed. I also suspect he isn't the brightest tool in the shed.

(8) I've never met the guy, but there's a good chance he has bipolar disorder rather than ADHD. Someone in the manic phase of bipolar disorder often appears to have adult ADHD because both lack the ability to focus and are "hyper." It's a very common misdiagnosis (unfortunately there are no blood test to tell one from the other). Bipolar patients tend to crash and get depressed, however, which is not so characteristic of adult ADHD.

(9) If you do write a review, since you never previously bothered to write a good review for him when he was performing to your satisfaction (and even staying later without charge), I think you need to make it balanced. If you write a review which only mentions this encounter without discussing all of the multiple good meeting, the review would be an injustice.

[Louis]

"Don't try anything.

 

>Those don't sound like the words of a friend.

 

Quite frankly, I don't believe that. If he had said that, you would have included it in your first post. It is just something you have dreamed up to strengthen your point of view"

 

All I can tell you is that the escort did say that to Mark. I have not weighed in on the conversation because I am one of the people who Mark has been corresponding with, and Mark sent me an email about the situation the day after it happened.

I gave him my impressions and advice, which don't have to be restated here, bcause we had emailed back and forth about this situation, and he's just wants to see what advice other people on the MC would be willing to give him, but in a public forum.

[ariadne1880]

RE: finally, a response from the escort ....

 

Thanks, Louis, for your support. Yes, I told you and several others exactly what happened less than 24 hours after it occurred. As you know, it wasn't just that comment but more like it. Many, at the time, said it should have been considered a threat.

 

But I guess it's just much easier to call people "liars" and engage in personal attacks. Same thing is going on in the presidential race so this should be no surprise.

 

It's a sad situation -- all around -- and tonight I did, finally, receive a response to my e-mails and phone calls. This is what it said, in its entirety ...

 

"give me a break, you need to stop calling me."

 

I don't think anything more needs to be said, by me, on this thread. But at least I have received a response and can formulate my next steps based on that.

 

Thanks again to all of you who offered positive advice and to those of you who expressed support. It was appreciated.

 

Mark

[Guest zipperzone]

RE: finally, a response from the escort ....

 

>It's a sad situation -- all around -- and tonight I did,

>finally, receive a response to my e-mails and phone calls.

>This is what it said, in its entirety ...

>

>"give me a break, you need to stop calling me."

>

>I don't think anything more needs to be said, by me, on this

>thread. But at least I have received a response and can

>formulate my next steps based on that.

 

"Formulate my next steps"......... what the hell do you intend to do? Take him to small claims court?

 

Your next step should be to re-read Unicorn's response and learn something from it.

[Guest zipperzone]

Good for you, Unicorn. Somebody had to say it like it is.

 

Our original poster should be thanking his lucky stars that the whole mess didn't end up on the front page of the local paper.