What makes a good escort experience?

[buckguy]

I know this is an old question that has launched a thousand threads, but I had an experience recently that made me really think about it anew--both from a client perspective and, to some extent, from an escort perspective. Over the past several months, I've had four hiring experiences and reviewed two of them. One was close to my vacation and too much time has probably elapsed to write a decent review. The fourth was very recent (today).

 

One experience was incredible (Marcus Iron, whom I reviewed), one was mixed/negative (Andre Barclay who I reviewed and replied to my review), and one was largely positive (Trey Casteel) for which there is a long story (see below). Today's experience was largely negative and I've been trying to deconstruct what made it so and made it different from the others. In the process, it got me thinking more about what makes for a good experience.

 

Part of the problem with Barclay may have been seeing him on his first day in from SF, but he really didn't follow through with some things we'd discussed previously by email. I could see him being good company, but the whole package didn't gel and although I was willing to write it off as chemistry, I also felt I needed to write a review, because these are precisely the kinds of experiences that many posters get cold feet about. Thinking about that experience got thinking just how much to verbalize what's going on in a mixed/negative experience and what can be fixed (can jetlag be fixed?)

 

My experience with Marcus Iron sounds a lot like one Steven Draker related and I wouldn't be surprised if Marcus tends to give a variation on standard scenario with clients and hookups. That sounds bad, but he clearly has such an intuitive and subtle sense of how to turn on a man that it probably doesn't matter. But that made me think--don't we really want an effort to be responsive to us as customers or is the momentary fantasy of this enough? And should we care if someone has a sexual routine, as long as it works for us as a client and soesn't come across as mechanical?

 

Casteel was an interesting case--I'd had a real hard-on for him for ages and have missed him several times in his travels (once by a mere day). The first time around, he never confirmed his room number after a series of phone calls setting up an appointment and, coincidentally, I happened to see him get into a car at a time close to our planned appointment (DC is a surprisingly small town). The next time around, I felt like I understood how he operated and made an appointment that I figured would have little competition in terms of time of day and duration (I happened to have a day where this was possible and I was willing to gamble a little more cash). He was a bit overwhelmed by travel so I doubt he remembered me. This whole scenario was out of character for me. It sounds like I swallowed my pride and maybe I did, but I viewed this as a challenge and it struck me that I needed to think like an escort who operates infrequently and, therefore, opportunistically in part to better understand how escorts work. He turned out to be a really satisfying partner, although there were some quirky aspects of the appointment--small talk at the most unlikely times, and a little tension over who would top whom. OTOH, when we talked, he seemed very candid (personal stuff, info that really couldn't be made up) and this added to the experience---it seemed like a hookup (in a good way) rather than an "appointment". In the end, I left very happy and willing to hire him again, but only under the right circumstances.

 

Today's guy is too fresh for me name here, but he has not been reviewed in the past. I don't want to make comments that will seem rash later on (there was a Casteel thread right after the blow-off where I vented more than I usually do, so I want to avoid that). In the end, today's guy got me off in a manner that I like, but there was a long period w/o much communication---verbal or non verbal. He seemed distant for much of the appointment and there was little face-to-face after the beginning. Also, no deep kissing (which is something that really turns my crank)--I was going to ask about this but got waylayed by some good oral sex on his part. It was an incall and I don't think he was really experienced and having those. He presented himself as a relative newbie, although he'd been advertising for a bout 6 mos. He had asked me about my age on the phone, which concerned me, but there were no other red flags before the appointment. I'm usually told I don't look my age and I'm in very good physical condition, so I tend to treat my age (52) as a number. This guy was younger than Casteel and iron who are credibly in their early 30s and Barclay who says he's late 20s. Still, I wonder if it "primed" the session and I got "ageism" that even someone who said they were 40 and looked the part would not have gotten. I also wondered if some of this was inexperience or discomfort with doing incalls--I got a little subtle flavor of this from my early communication. Was it simply a lack of chemistry?--I think there was more going on, but sometimes things simply don't gel. I didn't ask him to do anything he wasn't willing to do and even asked him, at one point, what he liked. My guess is that this wasn't a great experience for him. Still, from an escort perspective, getting the client off and providing companionship for the time allotted means he fulfilled some basic expectations and did his job. Today was disappointing, in part, because good escorts in DC are hard to find and no one who currently advertises seems like a potential regular. Despite the negatives (incl. the probable ageism) here, I don't feel the malice that's come from some negative experiences in the past--which is why I started this.

 

So what is a good experience--does it have to be unique and clearly personal? would that be realistic with a relative stranger (as opposed to a long-term client)? what do escorts think is a minimum requirement if the chemistry isn't there? what is a good way to intervene if there seem to be chemistry issues or overarching issues like age--say nothing, start a conversation even if it might go nowhere or turn negative? how much concrete verbal communication is useful and what seems to work (for other clients and for escorts)? realistically, how much should clients think about the business aspect of escorting as opposed to expecting that commitments are to be kept?

 

I'm an experienced client, but I'm struck that I have to look at the fundamentals with some new lenses, so please weigh-in. Sorry for the ramble--I felt it helped set the stage.

[Guest zipperzone]

An escort who has a "standard scenario" as you put it is not necessarily a bad thing so long as the scenario is a good one. He knows his own strong points and presumably has enough experience to know what turns clients on.

 

If you went to see a Ricky Martin performance in Washington, and then while on vacation, happened to see him perform in London, I bet you they would both be identical, right down to the throw-away comments. He knows what works - same for an escort.

[bartleby]

Gentlemen, I've been reading the message center and the reviews for several years now, and hiring occasionally here and there, but I've never posted or reviewed before but decided it was maybe time to get involved a little. I've always been struck by the notion that there are a few definable qualities that make a good escort experience,or a good escort for that matter. For me there are so many variables. Sometimes I want an older more sophisticated and experienced top, sometimes a bottom, sometimes a versatile. Sometimes I want someone with a brain for dinner and conversation, sometimes I want an extremely submissive bottom who doesn't say a word. Sometimes I'm turned on by eyes (Marcus Iron) sometimes by a hot bod (Michael Vincenzo) sometimes by smarts (Tom Isern) sometimes by a huge dick (Chad Hunt and Kevin Slater) sometimes by an ass (Steven Draker) sometimes by charm (Patrick Boden). I've also found that revisiting the same escort can sometimes have different results. First disappointments can turn around and get better with later hookups. Sometimes the first time is magic that never returns. What makes a good escort experience for me changes with my mood and what I want. If there is one thing that has to be there I would say the escorts desire to be present in the situation and not just be there for the money. For the most part, my experiences have been positive in that way. But then, I've been reading here and figuring out who the good ones are and who to stay away from. Thanks, guys. Thanks, Daddy! I'm a big appreciator of this review/message site and want to say so from the get-go.

[Guest n2colour]

If there is one thing that has to be there I would say the escorts desire to be present in the situation

 

I agree. Be upfront before the meetup about what you expect and get what you mutually agreed upon.