What to do when an escort says yes but means no...

[bigfest]

So, I decided to have some fun last night. Contacted someone from RentboyNYC whose ad shows up every once in a while, but at the same time, an ad I have noticed for the past few years.

 

Anyway, I was VERY clear as to what I was looking for and very specific about "versatality." Needless to say, he couldn't bottom for me, which was the whole point of the evening. I made this clear at least 3 times during our phone conversation with him saying "oh yes, not a problem." At the end, I wound up with and handjob as he played with a vibrator. Also...he could have been a robot.

 

At that point, should I have said, "hey, let's cut our losses here," and tried to negotiate a lower rate? I woke up so mad this morning.

[JamesK840]

It is a pretty annoying problem. It's why generally I won't pay 'rentboy' rates ($250+) without reading a review here first. Did the guy at least try, or once you were naked and horny pull the "oh, I don't do *that*" BS? Only remedy for the latter is to put the clothes back on.

 

For the former though, it makes a big difference how you start out. Perhaps some bottoms here could spell out for us what makes a good top and the easiest ways to start, but my experience is that things always seem to progress a lot better if we *start* with me on my back and the guy sitting onto my cock. Obv. plenty of lube, and I just relax, play with the guy's chest and am very patient and encouraging.

 

It's when I try to take control of the initial entry that often results in, "oh, it hurts too much..."

[bigfest]

Trust me. I tried everything. We spent at least one 1/2 hour of him trying to work his way up to it. I was VERY encouraging and complimentary in my efforts to make it work. I may be a bit above average in the "goods" department, but at the same time, I'm no Chad Hunt either. It has never been a problem for me before... I just felt like I probably could have had more satisfaction watching a porno and pleasing myself.

 

BTW, it wasn't $250, it was $200, but still...

[Lankypeters]

This site allows you to identify escorts satisfactory and unsatisfactory, pointing the way to guys to book and guys to avoid. You really ought to identify this escort and help others avoid similar and expensive disapointments. This sort of "Gee-I-don't-do-that" ripoff is too common.

 

 

Lankypeters

[Lankypeters]

.......expensive even when "disapPointment" is spelled with one "p."

 

 

Lankypeters

[+ purplekow]

>.......expensive even when "disapPointment" is spelled with

>one "p."

>

>

>Lankypeters

 

 

As soon as it became clear that you were not getting the service you contracted for, you should have stopped, said that this is not going to work and offered him a portion of his fee reasonable for the rest of the encounter. Given a choice between a hit in the wallet or a stretch of the rectum, many a reluctant escort finds the pain in the pocketbook more excruciating and changes that "can't" to a "well maybe with some lube." If you don't stand up for yourself at the time, you ought to be mad in the morning, at yourself.

[bigfest]

you know...I kept thinking that when it was happening. When you're in a strange environment, you know, you're not sure how the "other party" is going to react to something. It could probably turn ugly, but I really felt like I was mislead. Next time I think I'll be sure to say something.

[+ ArVaGuy]

>you know...I kept thinking that when it was happening. When

>you're in a strange environment, you know, you're not sure how

>the "other party" is going to react to something. It could

>probably turn ugly, but I really felt like I was mislead.

>Next time I think I'll be sure to say something.

>

>

>

>

How about submitting a review of this guy? Obviously he did not deliver what he promised. No doubt he's done this to other clients or will to others in the future. While its harder to write a negative review it could prevent other clients from having a similar experience.

[Lankypeters]

>>>

>>

>>

>How about submitting a review of this guy? Obviously he did

>not deliver what he promised. No doubt he's done this to

>other clients or will to others in the future. While its

>harder to write a negative review it could prevent other

>clients from having a similar experience.

 

 

Or at least identify the man on this thread.

 

Don't be too hard on yourself for not speaking up. When you're with someone for the first time, you don't know what they might try if you object to paying in full or become even critical. On the level of performance, the man was clearly dishonest. You don't know if that behavior ties to other behaviors you may not want to deal with. I'd err, or back off, on the side of caution, unless I'd seen the guy before and had a good sense of how he might react.

 

 

Lankypeters

[+ purplekow]

I think a smart recommendation for both clients and escorts is to have someone aware of your whereabouts. If you wind up in a situation such as the one described here and don't want to just grin and bear it, it pays to have someone aware of where you are and with whom. Then a quick call to your friend: "Having a problem with that person, call for assistance if you dont hear from me in 5". And then to the escort: "Here's a reasonable fee for your services but you are not supplying what I am paying full price for, so either put up or leave (only use this if it is your place)."

Once it is clear that there are others aware of who is there, trouble is less likely. I usually just give a friend a name and number and tell them that I will call them before the evening is over.

 

While I now live in a nice area, that was not always the case. When an unexpected knock comes to my door and there is a stranger there, I carry the phone with me and talk on the phone as though there is someone there. This is less safe than a conversation through the door, but it does give an extra degree of safety compared to blithely answering the door. So, in this above case, even if you didn't have someone aware of your whereabouts, a call to your anyone might have served the same purpose.

[Louis]

If you were able to pursuade him to bottom after he said, "no", by telling him you would hold back some of the fees, and he then changed his mind, I doubt that he would have performed well. His heart wouldn't have been into it, so by the time your appointment was over you probably would have felt that you were a necrophiliac, and that would have been just as bad or worse.

[+ purplekow]

You are correct in that you could wind up with a bad fuck for full price, but in this case he wound up with no fuck for full price. While I love it when my partner has as good or even a better time than I do, I can live with a bad fuck more easily than none.

 

 

I have never seen a purplekow;

I never hope to see one;

I can tell you anyhow;

I'd rather see than be one

 

Help there is a purplekow in my mirror

[Guest zipperzone]

If you don't know the guy and can't predict how he may react if pissed off - pay him the $$$, smile sweetly as you show him out the door and tell him you'll call him again, real soon.

 

Trust me, it's cheaper than plastic surgery.

[JT Brooklyn]

Bg..Submit a Review...Rather than a Nameless Chit-Chat which will do whoever is "next on this guy's line" No Good Whatsoever.

 

We have ALL had a "Working Guy" not quite do the "Job" he was Hired for at one time or another.

 

Also A Review does give him a chance to "Respond" IF he wishes to. BUT realizing Review's can take time, you might want to start the ball rolling here. There are many who read Review Section-Forums and not alway's both!

 

Rentboy/NYC now is full of so-so Working Guy's. Which for those who don't like to find One Hot Working Guy with their type of Chemistry to hang with on a Regular or whatever Basis, can cause much dissapointment!

 

"Variety" is not alway's the.. "Spice of Life" Although apparently there are those who definitely disagree! LOL

 

:P

[CT Dick]

>Rentboy/NYC now is full of so-so Working Guy's. Which for

>those who don't like to find One Hot Working Guy with their

>type of Chemistry to hang with on a Regular or whatever Basis,

> can cause much dissapointment!

 

And they nearly all charge $250 or more. That's a lot for mediocrity!x(

 

Dick

[Guest EuropTravl]

"Nameless Chit-Chat which will do whoever is "next on this guy's line" No Good Whatsoever"

 

There have been enough of these bad experience threads lately and they're always nameless.

Even the mention of naming names (to protect "the next guy") will produce hollers and whoops of "Unfair!" "Troll!" , and the like.

 

Some of the "411" threads are very helpful because I guess it's easier to be more open when the name is already out. But at least once or twice every couple of weeks there are these bad experience stories written by a CLIENT with no escort name and a question of how the CLIENT should have acted or how the CLIENT should change their behaviour, when it's the escort who seemed to be the problem in their story. But in the entire thread the escort is never identified, the thread dies, and we wait for the next badly behaving nameless boy....

[+ ArVaGuy]

>"Nameless Chit-Chat which will do whoever is "next on this

>guy's line" No Good Whatsoever"

>

>There have been enough of these bad experience threads lately

>and they're always nameless.

>Even the mention of naming names (to protect "the next guy")

>will produce hollers and whoops of "Unfair!" "Troll!" , and

>the like.

>

>Some of the "411" threads are very helpful because I guess

>it's easier to be more open when the name is already out. But

>at least once or twice every couple of weeks there are these

>bad experience stories written by a CLIENT with no escort name

>and a question of how the CLIENT should have acted or how the

>CLIENT should change their behaviour, when it's the escort who

>seemed to be the problem in their story. But in the entire

>thread the escort is never identified, the thread dies, and we

>wait for the next badly behaving nameless boy....

>

>

I agree with the points you have made here. That's why I'd advocate submitting a formal review of the encounter. While it's harder to write a negative review the process is a hell of a lot more fair than naming names in a thread like this.

 

Client tells his side, escort responds, and then it’s up to potential clients who read that review to make up their minds if the escort is worth the risk. More often than not the escort winds up responding in a way that does not exactly help his case. Then that usually winds up as some firestorm on the MC which in the end is beneficial.

 

Recently I had a lousy encounter with a DC escort and was on the fence about submitting a review since I was really busy at the time. I made mention of said escort in a 411 request thread that he was not all that great. Soon, there were four private messages from people who had hired the guy and had lousy experiences but none of them submitted reviews. One guy did not want to "offend" the escort since he had positive reviews. Well that pushed me to submit a review.

 

So, negative review gets published. Then, as I expected, escort blames client for issues. That's followed by a glowing review a couple of weeks later that addresses several of the issues that were in my review. (Based on my experience with the guy I expected the situation to play out in this manner.IMHO the follow up review is fake.) Now it's up to the clients who read the reviews to make up their minds if the guy is worth the hire.

 

I feel the process worked as intended, review submitted, escort responds, future clients can make up their minds to waste money on the guy or not. It would be a lot more helpful if the OP would submit a review but if the escort responds be sure to have a thick skin. It important not to fear "offending the escort" even if he has all positive or no reviews at all.

[bigfest]

I'm so at a loss here. Also, I can't figure out how to copy his profile address at rentboy. If I had to choose between the 2, I would probably list his profile here as opposed to writing a review. I've written 3 reviews before, all very positve experiences. Not sure I would want to read a bunch of lies about me after it was published.

 

I'm so on the fence here...

[+ deej]

>I feel the process worked as intended, review submitted,

>escort responds, future clients can make up their minds to

>waste money on the guy or not. It would be a lot more helpful

>if the OP would submit a review but if the escort responds be

>sure to have a thick skin. It important not to fear "offending

>the escort" even if he has all positive or no reviews at all.

 

There's another reason for writing the review: traffic. Remember that less than 10% of visitors to daddysreviews.com ever visit the message center. That means 90% of visitors will not see a negative discussion about an escort while doing research. And of the 10% who read the MC, how many will remember a negative mention of Escort A in a completely unrelated thread (which is usually where they end up)?

 

A negative review isn't *that* difficult to write if you remember the site's motto: honest in our judgement, truthful in our reporting. Write the review dispassionately, and with clinical honesty. Report the facts with absolute truthfulness (although this also applies to facts about yourself). Leave hyperbole and emotion out of it completely. Just the facts, ma'am.

[best hotel]

...for alot of different reasons, less reviews are being written ...as compared to the "hooboy" era....i have been trying to do better, but recently posted about this and recieved alot of messages and posts about guys who stopped writing them...i hope somebody can say the right thing to motivate us again...in the meantime, we have alot of mixed experiences with new guys or older guys whose reviews disappeared from the site...

[uwsman2]

I just yesterday submitted my first review in a long time (under a different screen name that I use for my reviews), and received an acknowledgement by email. So now will wait and see how long until it gets posted. It was of a guy who is reviewed on this site for duos with his partner but not for solos, but I went solo with him, so let's see what happens. (I've been posting reviews for many years, but had slowed down on posting recently, partly because I was seeing guys on repeats, and partly because I was just not seeing as many guys as frequently.... age has a way of doing that!)

[JT Brooklyn]

Arlington... I totally agree. The 411 Name Question.. does take a certain amount of "Heat Off" of those that don't want to be the First to Review or Comment on an experience they had.

 

We have all, IF we have submitted a certain amount of Review's over the Year's, had at least ONE Review, that for "whatever" reason has gotten a Disgruntled "Response" from the Working Guy!

 

Especially when all was "Sunny" before the Last Review the Guy Received! My Criticism was "very slight", but got a 2 Paragraph Response! LOL

 

"Thin Skinned" some guy's Definitely are! They have to learn the Sun doesn't Shine everyday, Even IF they are a Hunk and got Paid for the Experience! LOL

:P

[a_nice_guy]

I can empathize. So, will write my story as objectively as possible:

 

It was late in the evening, several weeks ago, when I decided to call "europeanstud" (ID #125185) on men4rentnow.com.

 

http://www.men4rentnow.com/ds/index.asp?cmd=view&id=125185&Login=europeanstud

 

I called him to ask his availability for the following evening. He said he was not available the next day, but was available "now." I explained my desires/expectations (versatility) and he agreed. I traveled to his place and everything started well. He brought me to climax, through j/o, at about 30 minutes into the session. That was fine--I continued to "explore" his physique until I was erect again and ready to "top." He said he was too tired and the session was over. We were at about 45 minutes into the session. I was unpleasantly surprised, but didn't want to press the issue. At the same time, I didn't feel I owed full price for services not delivered. I left partial payment and exited. I may not have been so bold, if we were at my place rather than his--I honestly don't know...

 

 

BigFest, hopefully this helps by letting you know you are not the only one to have such an experience.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey guys,

 

A few days ago I read this thread and was really shocked by what I read. I didn't have time to respond then, so I will do now, before the thread gets lost.

 

I was really surprised by the general tone of the responses and by the apparent consensus about it. Not only it seems that the "right thing" is not having paid, or at least not the full fee, but even it was suggested to take preventive meassures to avoid physical harm and facial disfiguration...

 

Now, it is really hard to be the one having to come with the other side of this question, but guys... really! x(

 

There are several things that caught my attention and I will try to adress them one by one in the sake of clarity.

 

First of all, if at any time you feel endangered, threatened or afraid during your session with an escort, may I suggest that this would be very unlikely if you meet with a consistently well reviewed escort with a reputation of being kind, fiendly, and professional? I assume that this is the whole point of the reviews. Making the hiring experience not only more fulfilling and easy, but also SAFE.

 

Now, many seem to be assuming that this was a ripp-off artist. It was even suggested that if the escort had been "Given a choice between a hit in the wallet or a stretch of the rectum, many a reluctant escort finds the pain in the pocketbook more excruciating and changes that "can't" to a "well maybe with some lube." I mean, on Bigfest's own words, the kid tried to get the cock inside for -half an hour! It is not that he saw the cock and said "No way, you're too big" or that he pretended to try and then desisted... He was at it for HALF AN HOUR! (50% of the whole session's duration.) Now, again, on Bigfest's own words, he is the proud owner of a large piece of equipment, I am even assuming that his nickname has something to do with the importance of his member... Am I the only one who thought that perhaps this kid was really having serious trouble with an undertaking of such magnificence and am I too, the only person here who felt proud because not only he showed a remarkable commitment with the process (FOR HALF AN HOUR!) and perhaps endured a lot more pain that he was used to... just to please his client? (Or maybe he too was excited about the prospect of taking a bigger cock than he has taken before... is it really that unthinkable that he too, -the escort- was turned on by that?)

 

I have to confess that the mere suggestion that putting the escort through pain (as long as I, the client get to fuck) is not only the right outcome, but the only one, makes me feel a little dizzy. And I have to tell you that perhaps 30% of my clients who want to top think that they have to hire escorts to fuck because the laymen have a great difficulty taking their huge members. Often I get to meet them and when the humongous appendage comes out of their underwear they smile shily and often say something like: "But of course you wouldn't have a problem taking this..." (Which of course, I don't, and I LOVE challenges.) }( But maybe a less experienced escort -would- have a problem taking a large cock. (Go figure.)

 

The underlying issue here, what really made me respond to this thread in such an emotional way that is uncharacteristic of me, is that it would seem that the consensus is that escorts are toys that MUST perform certain activities, regardless of anything.

 

I fully embrace the Canadian approach to escorting, not as a euphemistic approach, (or as an excuse to not engage in the sexual practices I say I enjoy, as my reviews may attest to), but as a humanizing one. What I charge for is my expert, focused, willing, (and hopefully) entertaining and fulfilling companionship. I charge for my time only. And this is NOT a legal loophole to avoid being caught by the cops.

 

It is very well known that I (among the wide variety of activities that I enjoy) engage in full sexual contact with most of my clients, and it is very well documented that I am very acommodating and will take requests gladly and enthusiastically... but still I am only charging for my time.

 

If a man who asked for me to bottom arrives with a cock much larger than I am used to take and after HALF AN HOUR of trying to get the aforementioned schlong in I cannot... I haven't failed in delivering my services. (Since I charge for my companionship, not for taking cock up my shute. {Please, do excuse my french.})

 

Now, I have been one of the ones repeating the "Communication is the key" mantra for a few years now... ask and receive, be clear in what you want... but maybe I have forgotten something that to me seemed evident all this time:

 

Escorts are common human beings with bodies that have limits... just as clients' bodies... there are things they can do, there are things they cannot... there are moments that are better for some things than others... A good, well reviewed escort is a professional that has shown a consistent ability to mantain a degree of client's satisfaction... but still he is a human being, with pain, and impredictable bodily functions...

 

Now, after my rant... be warned: I wrote all your names... You shall be spanked (harshly) if we ever get to meet. }(

 

It will hurt me more than it will hurt you guys, but believe me, it is good for you, in the end. :9

 

Guys... seriously! x( :-( :+ }( :9

[Okliehomo]

I know that I didn't respond to this thread, but I meant to!!!Does that count?? At least, enough, to get my name added to that spanking list?? I think you've been promising me one for years now...

 

Juan, I really love it when you're harsh.

 

Okie