How or Can You Say No Thank You?

[Doe Be Doe]

It sometimes happens that when I actually meet an escort he does not live up to my hopes. This situation almost always occurs when I make an appointment based on a partial photo that does not show the escort's face. Often the look of the escort is not one that appeals to me. How should I handle this siuation?

 

If I have gone to the escort, I usually just say, sorry, changed my mind and do not pay. If he has come to me, I usually muddle through it although sometimes I pay him part or all of the fee and say no thanks.

 

Is this right?

 

Note that I am not talking about escorts who have been misleading in their description.

[JT Brooklyn]

Doe..Simple, Stick to the Guys with THE HEADSHOTS..There definitely is more than enuff to go around! Unless you live in the Middle of Nowhere?.. then it could be a problem! LOL :+

[+ Charlie]

I have found that it helps not to have expectations; of course, it also helps that I am capable of eroticizing almost any male image, so I can go with the flow. In the old pre-Internet days, I often hired escorts just from a print ad with no picture at all, and part of the excitement was discovering what the guy actually looked like. Only occasionally was a guy such a visual turn-off that I didn't want to go through with it--or, to be more accurate, that I didn't want to PAY to go through with it. I was more likely to be turned off by the personality than the looks, and when that happened, after a few minutes I would usually say, "I'm sorry, but I don't think this is going to work for me," then would offer some partial payment, which would depend on the situation. Reactions varied, from a smooth acceptance to anger and physical threat--it's hard to predict exactly how to handle such individual interactions.

[+ Tom Isern]

I would like to add a few words about face shots and expectations...

 

I am one of those escorts who can't show his face--I'm not shy, ugly, or prudish, or concerned about my reputation, really--it's just the very practical reality that certain professional involvements of mine would be swept down the Hudson if my face were posted publicly. If you limit yourself to escorts with headshots, you're going to miss a lot of good people. Perhaps you could ask for a private e-mailed headshot in the future?

 

A lot of uncomfortable situations can be avoided with adequate communication. Charlie, who posted above me here, came to see me several weeks ago. His only communication to me: he was looking for an all-oral scene; I should read his reviews and I'd know what he likes. Well, Charlie has expectations--and they weren't communicated adequately to me. The result was a less-than-stellar review and an irony--all oral scenes are my favorite things to do. But I didn't do it quite the way Charlie likes, apparently; I did it the way my all-oral regulars like it. I am now much more sensitive about finding out, in advance, just what a client likes and doesn't like. I encourage clients to do the same--interview your escorts. You're hiring them for a job! This is the good lesson I learned from Charlie!

[Funseeker 22]

Three of my favorites had no headshots and I was very happy with my first meeting. :9

Eric from NY, Steven Draker from All Over and Ben from LA.

[+ Charlie]

Actually, I was referring in my post to expectations about looks (since that's what the original post was about). And I certainly was not at all disappointed in Tom's looks--he's quite goodlooking! Nor was I disappointed in his personality. But somehow we just didn't click together, and I tried to convey in the review that I didn't think it was his fault, but apparently I wasn't clear enough.

[JT Brooklyn]

Doe..Looks can be very, very Subjective..We all have been out with friends, commented on someones looks and not all agreed on the "Hotness" Factor. Attend a couple of Strip Shows, you'll see what I mean. LOL

 

IF you feel you have to go with the Looks before the Fact, you are better off doing just that. Apparently that works for you...

 

The Best Hookups come from the Best Chemistry! Not the Best Advertisement you see OR don't see. IMHO of course.:+

[Steven_Draker]

>Three of my favorites had no headshots and I was very happy with my first meeting. :9

>Eric from NY, Steven Draker from All Over and Ben from LA.

 

 

You did not disappoint me either, Funseeker

 

Steven Draker ~

http://www.hotsexystud.com/uk

[SexualAlchemist]

The kindest thing to do is bite the bullet at one's very earliest opportunity -- at the doorway. Say "Thank you very much for taking the time to come, but this is not going to work like I hoped it would. Please accept my apologies for having occupied your time to this point. Here's taxi fare for your journey here and back, and a token of my appreciation for your effort." If you both are really foresightful, you'll both agree on a "cancellation fee".

 

Under no circumstances should one be nasty, no "Shit dude! You said you were goodlooking!" There really is no accounting for taste, and one should not make someone feel bad for not living up to one's unknowable expectations.

[augustman]

Facial shots are one of the toughest issues out here. I popular contributor here and I communicate a lot personally about escorts. Face is very important to him, for me not in my top ten list. We do recommend to each other and thankfully my last recommendation worked. The guy was handsome but once he smiled my friend knew he made the right choice. For me it is tough when I review someone to talk about their looks because it is not a key item. On the other hand he has had a couple of guys whom he did not like their face, but they were great for me. Both high energy and great personalities so to each his own.

 

However, one feature of the face is important to me. That would be the smile. I guy does not have to have perfect teeth but I find nothing more attractive than a nice bright smile. I have been lucky to this point on that issue alomost all have been good. One terrible one and if he had not driven 100 miles to see me I would have closed the door. The guy had his face in all the shots he had of himself nice looking guy. But when he arrived and openned his mouth for the first time I said I am not putting my tongue in that and no way is that mouth going down on my penis. Seriously looked like he had never seen a dentist.

 

So guys who do have face shots if you have nice teeth why not smile your pictures would look even better. I have had guys who are gorgeous and we did not click and it was a mediocre appointment at best.

[Rick Munroe]

>I am one of those escorts who can't show his face--I'm not

>shy, ugly, or prudish, or concerned about my reputation,

>really--it's just the very practical reality that certain

>professional involvements of mine would be swept down the

>Hudson if my face were posted publicly.

 

Same here, Tom. Additionally, I like to be able to walk down the street or go to dinner or to the gym or grocery store or whatever without having someone look at me and know a lot of very personal things from reviews, my blog, etc. ("That guy in aisle 4 loves a tongue up his butt!"). I'm not shy or embarrassed by what I do; I just value my privacy.

 

But I have thought many times that Derek and I should start using face pics because it's a common comment from clients that they "didn't realize we'd be so cute" (does everyone assume no face pic = ugly?), and I know we'd get more work with face pics. But we're happy with the amount of work we get and we can still walk down the street without being the Nick and Jessica of the escorting world.

[Rick Munroe]

Great response, Anton. You said everything I was just about to say so now I don't have to type it. My two fingers thank you.

[Prime Muscle]

I'm one that will let first time clients know upfront that I expect payment - or at least proof of payment -- upon arrival. I realize that there is a chance that the client may not like me once we meet and if so, there is no obligation and I do not expect to be compensated for anything. But my pics and stats are 100% legit as well as current and I have not had any problems with clients wanting to back out.

 

On the other hand, I have met way too many dudes for play (non-clients) that flat out lied and/or used fake pics. I have no trouble simply saying that this isn't working out and leaving immediately.

[BgMstr4u]

Truth telling is important. According to the link you provided, Bobby, you're retired -- since September. So ... are you still escorting or not? You speak of escorting in the present tense.

 

I have met my share of flakey escorts, and the usual scene is something like this: The escort in question leads me on with pictures that are great, face shots even, and then shows up and is 10 plus years older, in worse shape than I am (which is saying something!), with one or more of the following: body odor, dirty clothes, bad teeth, bad breath, bad attitude -- as in "you called, we have a contract, here I am, pay me or else".

 

Sorry -- but anyone who starts out about the money first will be out my door as soon as I can arrange it, will never return, and will have the truth about him told.

[Rick Munroe]

>Maybe that "something else" is thanking me as well ??

 

Yes, my fork thanks you! (It's dinner time.)

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey Doe Be Doe,

 

Many great escorts and clients have chimed in already and the questions is almost totally answered. These are a few steps that you should follow:

 

Do your research and discover what other people think about that escort's face. (Even if in matter of taste we are all different.)

 

Thorougly communicate with you escort beforehad.

 

Be kind and fully honest at the moment you see his face.

 

And if you did all that.... enjoy.

 

By personal experience I know that people imagine the most abominable things when they dont see a face pic. I don't post mine for many reasons, many of which have already been mentioned before by my fellow escorts, but there is another one for me. I Love doing companionship work; you know, the kind of work that involves acompanying someone to a dinner party, to the theatre, to a special ocassion or simply on holidays. I always thought I wanted to do that. I just believe that it is a plus if people don't know that I am being paid to acompany him or her. I am just a friend. (Or a nephew, or a lover, or whatever is suitable).

 

However, since I do not offer a face pic under any circumstance, I offer something else. I always say that if the minute a client sees my face he doesn't like it, or I remind him of an exboyfriend, or his dad, or anything, all he has to do is say: "Juan, thanks, but no thanks". And I will go back without expecting ANY kind of explanation or fee. (If we meet in Vancouver DT). If I meet with him outside that area, all I would hope for is cab fare.

 

For me it is much more important to have a fully satisfied client... or a happy friend, than having money in my pocket. And that, of course, has proven to be a very profitable way to deal with my business.

 

After all, I love to say that I thrive only in pleasure...

[FourAces]

Hey DOBE here is a clue for you, how about just saying NO. Fuck are you that enpt that you need to ask how to say No?

[Rick Munroe]

>I just believe

>that it is a plus if people don't know that I am being paid to

>acompany him or her.

 

Yes, I've said that before, too. It's a lot easier to be discreet when nobody knows who you are!

[Steven_Draker]

What about if you fly someone in and you realize at the airport that the face is not what you were expecting ... just leave him there ?

[Luv2play]

I was once on a flight from Rio to Miami and spotted this absolutely hunky guy sitting near to me on the plane. When we arrived and he got up, I almost fainted, he was so gorgeous. I next saw him at the luggage carousel waiting to pick up his bag. I was absolutely drooling and wondering about him (was he someone's boyfriend, husband, escort???).

 

Once through immigration I next saw him as he walked into the arrival lounge. From a discreet distance, I saw him greet this older man, with a face that, charitably, only a mother could love. The old man greeted him and threw his arm around his shoulder, and off they walked to the carpark. I've heard that opposites attract, but in this case, I had to think that the attraction was hidden somewhere in that old guy's wallet! :+

[BgMstr4u]

Or it could have been his uncle or grandfather, come to Florida to make his fortune, spending his life, his time, and what beauty he had, on building a future for his family, including hunkletto from Rio....

[Prime Muscle]

I always inform first time clients that I have had some collection trouble in the past and therefore request at least proof of payment upon arrival. I have been burned in the past and I do not think it's too much to ask to at least see the funds on a table or something for first time clients. Actually, I have not had anyone complain about it so it's not a huge deal.

 

As far as escorting goes, I am no longer available in Kansas City except for established clients. Law enforcement throughout the 5-county area have joined 137 agents together and things have gotten pretty scary. News crews usually follow. And to top that, a former client turned out to be cop and tried the blackmail route. It’s best for me to keep low right now in KC but when I travel I usually post or let my regular clients know in advance.

[JT Brooklyn]

ANYONE.. Who Pays to put someone's Butt in an Airplane seat, better know what the guy looks like!

These are not SLAM-BAM 1 or 2 hour Sessions..No matter how much disposable Income someone has.. :+