Ideal Number of Encounters

[axebahia]

I have been wondering what folks think is the maximum number of encounters with an escort before: (a) the sex gets stale; and/or (b) the relationship begins to slip into an ambiuous friendship. I think the number might be between 3-5 in my case. How about you?

[+ Charlie]

In most cases, once is enough for me. The exceptional ones are good for four or five times before it mutates from sexual excitement to friendship (or boredom). The most times I ever saw a single escort was eight times, but that was spread over seven years, and only three of the encounters were completely satisfactory sexually.

[vabballfan]

I think it really depends upon the escort.

 

I could probably see Matt in London hundreds of times and not get tired of him. Same with several of the guys I have seen at Premier in Philadelphia. Some of the guys that I saw there that I could have seen over and over again have stopped escorting.

 

Some of the escorts I have seen more than once get stale and uninteresting quickly (I honestly think some of them feel they don't have to try if you do a repeat call with them) and with some of them it becomes even hotter with each succeeding time because there is some level of comfort.

[Guest scrtlovr]

I agree: a lot does depend on the escort. Living in NYC, I have a lot of options and have tried many different escorts (some I have reviewed). But there is one in particular I always seem to go back to, in spite of all the great choice. As far as "ambiguous" friendship resulting from our meeting, that depends on both you and the escort and how emotionally available you make yourselves to each other. I suppose it also depends on how often you see each other. In my case, it's random (maybe 6,7 times a year). I suppose if I saw him tiwce a week, I'd have to marry him or declare bankruptcy!!!;-)

[+ deej]

Agree. The only right answer is "it depends". ;-)

 

It depends on the escort and it depends on the client, and how available/open each are to the idea of a friendship.

 

The only guy I've hired where the relationship evolved beyond sex took 3 or 4 sessions over a 2-year period, which included sharing some intense emotions on both sides in email and on the phone the whole time. I generally don't have that level of emotional connection with guys I hire, but I'm not closed to it.

 

Another guy turned into a great friend and I've even loaned him money for his other business. He repaid me in trade, several times over. We're friends at some level but he still loves a big dick up his ass. It's not a particularly bad foundation for a friendship.

 

There are some guys I've been with where I'm over it when we've had sex once. With other guys, no matter how many times I see them I can't keep my hands off them.

 

It depends.

 

Interpersonal chemistry can't be measured or regulated. Friends help you move. Good friends help you move bodies.

[jimmer]

That's an interesting question. Been considering it myself lately. It seems to make sense that the answer should be "it depends", but I don't think so.

 

Once a month for two years seems to be my limit.

 

Three different escorts have failed to "motivate" me to continue our associations after that period of time. They tend to become complacent, although in different ways.

 

One began using drugs openly when I was with him and demonstated clearly his state of depression. This dude has more than 30 postive reviews, but none involving an experience after an extended period. The last time I was with him, I was a more his therapist than his friend or client.

 

Another increased his sleep time on overnights from six to ten hours, and became confrontational and downright nasty. He also increased his use of drugs in my presence. After a while, I realized I was constantly either waiting for him to arrive (since he came later and later with each session) or watching him sleep.

 

The third I am not sure about, but there are signs that I worry me. I'm not sure what's going to happen with him.

 

This summer, I've been with a number of escorts that I've seen either rarely or for the first time. All the the experiences have been terrific.

 

Jimmer

[axebahia]

>Once a month for two years seems to be my limit.

 

That seems quite high to me. I am surprised that things don't break down before that.

 

>Three different escorts have failed to "motivate" me to

>continue our associations after that period of time. They tend

>to become complacent, although in different ways.

 

"Complacency" is a good word. In the past, I have used the word "jaded" which Devon took issue with when talking about "mature" escorts.

[Damascene]

I've seen an escort usually for about two years. It just seems to be their lifespan when I meet them before they retire. Usually once a month or every other month so that works out for me ~ 18 times. I tend not to see an escort exclusively so that does keep boredom.

 

Now there is exception of the escort I've been seeing off and on for 10 years. He was with a service (two years) then left I encountered him (two years later) we started again and continued (two years), he quit (three years) and now he is back. Perhaps for me it been those two year periods that make it work. Plus he varies thing so I am not quite sure what to expect.

 

It's all subjective.

[Guest DevonSFescort]

>"Complacency" is a good word. In the past, I have used the

>word "jaded" which Devon took issue with when talking about

>"mature" escorts.

 

"Mature" meaning they've turned 24. As in, "by the time they mature, they're jaded." Bygones.

[CT Dick]

I hire both newbies and repeats.

 

I love the excitement of a session with an unknown. That curiosity before I open the door, the exploration of his body, teaching him what I like, figuring out what turns him on, etc. It's a thrill.

 

Then, I also hire guys I'm familiar with. We know each other and fall into a comfortable relationship of familiarity. I know that I will have a grea time with them. I have had two guys I saw over twenty times, each.

 

Dick

[uwsider]

For me, a huge part of the pleasure is finding someone that you do want to repeat and repeat with. I have one in particular that I've seen over a hundred times over a 5 year period. To me it just gets better the more you know someone.

[alanalt]

I Hate to Copy-Cat...

 

You'll have to mark me down as an 'it depends' on this one as well. I've seen one escort now for about 18 mos. The sex is hot (in fact, our last encounter in West Hollywood was the hottest yet!) and I haven't found the friendship we've developed to get in the way of our 'professional' encounters' either.

 

On the other hand I've had repeat encounters that have grown 'stale' in a matter of weeks... I think a lot of it depends on the escort. It must be a tremendous tempatation to get complacent about repeat customers and to (even unconciously) take them somwhat 'for granted' Obviously, the high-quality escorts work to avoid this.

 

The other factor is completely intangible and I call it 'chemistry'. If an escort and client 'click' then that makes all the difference in/for repeat encounters...

 

Alan

[Trixie]

For me a 1/2 an hour usually does the "trick". Most of the time I've found out all I need to know about an escort in that brief period. (Which unfortunately sometimes feels like a lifetime) Frequently the rest of the session is down time.

But I do have "special needs", and it's a rare escort who can genuinely fulfill them. I'll admit I'm hard to please, at least in terms of "Send Me Through the Roof" satisfaction. And I've appreciated every escort I've worked with, even if I haven't asked him back. But the escorts who've allowed me to do what I want to do, despite the fact that it's potentially excruciatingly difficult for them, are the ones that have really won my esteem. I feel a special "shout out" is appropriate to two local escorts in the SF area, Luke Steele and Papi,who not only met my dreams, but exceeded them. The most amazing part is, they've been willing to come back!

Trix

[axebahia]

>"Mature" meaning they've turned 24. As in, "by the time they

>mature, they're jaded."

 

Nah I stand corrected, as in "by the time they mature, they're complacent."

[axebahia]

RE: I Hate to Copy-Cat...

 

>You'll have to mark me down as an 'it depends' on this one as

>well.

 

At one level, I agree that it depends. There have been several escorts who I have at various points seen once or twice a week over the course of several months. However, it does seem to me that even in those cases, a level of complacency drawn from familiarity does kick in at some point. At first, perhaps, it is the escort coming later than before or having a shower on arrival, or maybe more cuddling than sex time. Now, I am not suggesting that these are bad things, but rather that there is a change point. Maybe for some escorts it is after 1 encounter, and others after 2 or 3 or 6 or 12. I am not suggesting that there is one fixed answer, but trying to compare notes about averages based on experience - more art than science.

[+ Charlie]

For me it's important to have breaks--often long breaks, like a year or two--between meetings with an escort, in order to keep up the interest. I can remember two experiences in which the sex with an escort was so hot that I booked a repeat encounter the next day, and found that the sizzle had completely fizzled. That may have been due to the phenomenon that Trixie mentioned, which is that I learned everything that mattered to me about the escort in the first meeting, and discovered nothing new in the repeat. If I can predict exactly what will happen, I tend to lose interest. That's why I appreciate an imaginative escort like Rex Brant, because I never know what he has prepared for our encounter.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

>I have been wondering what folks think is the maximum

>number of encounters with an escort before: ....

 

One shy of when the magic is gone. Anywhere from zero to ... ummm... well, I haven't found an upper limit yet for some.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

An Elaboration

 

This question really depends on the type of relationship one has with his escort. One can take the 'love of his life' , reduce it to a series of one hour sex encounters exclusively and watch the bloom of love grow stale and wither, sooner rather than later as clocked by the number of encounters. The more so with an escort obviously. On the other hand if you and your escort have chemistry and manage to 'share a life' as in 'get a life' for an evening, a day, a week -- for a dinner, a walk on the beach, or exploring the unknown landscape of a distant city, then it keeps the relationship from growing stale as quickly. This doesn't have to happen on every occasion, but as with any relationship, a little variety is nice. And to order the cart and the horse, this is not a recipe for extending the life of an association, though it could be, but an explanation of why some relationships may last longer than others.

 

However, I suspect the vein of the question seeks to explore the question of how many times before the standard business encounter becomes stale. So those enjoying encounters of the second kind will skew the statistics resulting in a bimodal distribution relfecting he Whammers and the Charmers.

[marc anthony]

RE: An Elaboration

 

if you

>and your escort have chemistry and manage to 'share a life' as

>in 'get a life' for an evening, a day, a week -- for a dinner,

>a walk on the beach, or exploring the unknown landscape of a

>distant city, then it keeps the relationship from growing

>stale as quickly.

 

Sounds like you have some experience in this kind of thing, TY!

 

And I couldn't agree with you more. Yes, it may be a fantasy, but what a fucking GREAT fantasy. For me, this type of thing not only "keeps the relationship from growing stale quickly", it actually fuels the fire that heats it up.

 

(I have some experience in this kind of thing too! hehe)

 

:-)

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Numbers Game

 

While some men (either escorts or clients) may find a certain excitement and appeal in newness, and there is the sociological belief that men are not able to form long term intimate relationships by design, if the goal of a man was to maximize his opportunities for good sex, this would be more readily achieved in a relationship with a known quantity than it would be in an intermittent succession of individuals.

 

When this point is brought to a man's attention, his usual response is that he seeks variety as well as frequency of sexual experience. But at that point, a man is no longer arguing on the basis of physiological need. His sex drive just motivates him to have sex. The desire for constant variety in sexual partners is primarily a rationalization of a desire to keep his relations transitory. Men seek only superficial relationships because they are threatened by the intimacy they entail.

 

Anything else (the type of sex, for example), is simply the sexualization of other, often pyschological needs, which while they can be incorporated with and thus satisfied with sexual activity, can also remain unmet irrespective of how gratifying the sex can be or is.

 

Sexual desire is simply a physiological drive. Sexualized desires (to wit, a susbtitute for intimacy, a form of aggression, or for indirect self-acceptance through sexual activity, etc.) often are not satisfied, and the physical need for sexual gratification is also often not met, thus leaving a man feeling deprived irrespective of frequency or number of partners.

 

 

To assure freshness and potency, store in a cool, dark place.

[axebahia]

RE: Diminishing Returns, the other Cardinal Law

 

>When this point is brought to a man's attention, his usual

>response is that he seeks variety as well as frequency of

>sexual experience. But at that point, a man is no longer

>arguing on the basis of physiological need. His sex drive just

>motivates him to have sex. The desire for constant variety in

>sexual partners is primarily a rationalization of a desire to

>keep his relations transitory. Men seek only superficial

>relationships because they are threatened by the intimacy they

>entail.

 

That may be true, but I think what some of are saying is that with quantity sometimes quality declines. Economists call that "diminishing returns". The point of this thread is to find out at what point others feel diminishing returns sets in on average with the escorts that they hire.

[Prime Muscle]

I hope things don't go stale! Actually, most of my appointments are repeat clients. I think there is a comforting feeling knowing what to expect - on both ends.

[woodlawn]

RE: Diminishing Returns, the other Cardinal Law

 

To me, the issue is very similar to the one brought up in your thread about the escort who wanted your assistance in finding a place to live. I've never known it to fail -- whenever you show any sort of friendly feelings for someone with whom you have a business relationship, especially an employer/employee relationship, the time comes when he will try to take advantage of that by giving less or getting more than the terms of the business relationship specify. If an escort is at least satisfactory I will usually see him more than once, and I have always found that on the subsequent occasions he shows less concern about whether I am satisfied than on the first occasion. In general I would say this becomes glaringly obvious by the third or fourth appointment. With the escort whom I saw for the longest period of time, it got to the point at which he clearly expected me to treat him like a friend but to pay him for the privilege of doing so. That's when I ended it.