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Fin Fang Foom Deconstructs The Cole Davis Review

Guest Fin Fang Foom

By Guest Fin Fang Foom
in The Deli

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Guest Fin Fang Foom

Guest Fin Fang Foom

Posted
Posted

OK! OK! ENOUGH ALREADY!! If I hear from ONE MORE PERSON asking me to deconstruct this review I'm going to have the Chinese Come-aparts!

 

Like Sinatra staggering out of retirement one last time to flog "My Way", I will grant your wishes and tear apart the recent Cole Davis review as though I were a wolverine and it were a new-born kitten.

 

 

 

Experience: I finally experienced my long awaited encounter with Cole. Cole lived up to all my expectations and more.

 

Once you finish reading this review, you’ll see what an understatement THAT is.

 

 

I contacted Cole letting him know that I was a pig boy in need of some serious training.

 

Ok, let’s get something out of the way always annoys me: if you’re in your mid-40’s (as the reviewer is) you have no business referring to yourself as a “boy”.

 

 

Did I get trained! I arrived at Cole's place and was immediately instructed to get on my knees. The subjugation and training had begun!

 

Either that or he wanted to inspect your scalp for lice.

 

 

Cole was dressed in hot leather (chaps & cod piece) & clearly had not showered for several days (the way I like it).

 

Already he’s delusional. Does he really think Cole hadn’t showered for DAYS?

 

 

He emanated the strong scent of maleness.

 

Available exclusively as Macy’s!

 

 

As such, I was immediately forced to sniff & kiss Cole's leather swollen cock & groin

 

YIKES! Doesn’t Cole have a regular cock and groin? Apparently he only uses a leather one with johns.

 

 

my hard on emerged vigorously!

 

(loud horn sounds and flashing red lights)

SYNTAX ALERT!!

 

 

I was then forced to stand & undress down to my underwear.

 

You just know it was an old nasty pair that had the ass all stretched out.

 

 

Cole proceeded to pull out a sharp knife

 

DOUBLE YIKES!! This is too similar to the first sex scene in “Cruising” for my delicate tastes.

 

 

& cut my underwear to shreds.

 

WHILE you were IN them!?!?! TRIPLE YIKES!!

 

 

He wiped his male sweat with the shreds & forced it in my mouth.

 

He’s very fond of using “male” and “man” as an adjective.

 

 

Cole then proceeded to tie me up spread eagle from the ceiling to the floor.

 

Obviously this guy hasn’t seen “Silence of the Lambs”?

 

 

A pair of scissor-like tit clamps

 

PLEASE STOP!! NO MORE SHARP OBJECTS!! Did this guy want to hire a whore or Edward Scissorhands?

 

 

were aggressively applied & I knew what was coming (no complaints allowed - the training was to be severe).

 

“Aggressively applied” “scissor-like tit clamps”? OUCH!!

 

 

Out came the camel whip and Cole applied it slowly at first (keeping me hard) and then with increasing intensity.

 

This is where I get slightly confused. What the fuck is camel whip? I’m familiar with Dream Whip and Cool Whip but I’ve never seen camel whip at the A&P.

 

 

My mind was in an orgasmic state at this point as Cole knew exactly how to apply the stroke of the camel whip (like a long, slow fuck that brings you to the point of orgasm with no release just yet).

 

MORE camel whip! It sounds to me like he meant to hire Andre Renard.

 

 

Both my back & butt were the recipients of Cole's gifted application of pain/pleasure. Released from the ceiling & placed back on my knees, my hands were then tied behind my back. I received a most generous gift from Cole - his long, hard thick cock shoved down my throat.

 

Is this his REAL cock or the leather one?

 

 

Getting face-fucked by Cole drove me into sheer ecstasy. I was then forced to deep-throat my master's cock and did so until I began to gag uncontrollably.

 

Amateur.

 

 

Cole then placed a big wad of his spit on his cock and I sucked & swallowed it immediately. From that point on, Cole repeatedly fed me wads of his warm spit directly into my mouth for the entire session. For each new, fresh wad of Cole's male spit, I chewed & swallowed it like it was nectar from heaven.

 

Personal Aside Time: I can suck face with the best of ‘em, however, I have never found it a turn-on to have a guy shoot a big woogie in my mouth.

 

 

Following this I was forced to go on all fours (doggie-style).

 

Thanks for the clarification, no one had a clue what you meant by “all fours”.

 

 

Cole pulled out his flogger, and I was whipped mercilessly until the welts on my back stood firm. I was a very obedient boy and took this generous flogging gift with pleasure;

 

More of the “boy” nonsense.

 

 

I realized that pleasing my master was my number one goal and would take/do anything to accomplish this.

 

Except, of course, doing windows.

 

 

I was then dragged into the bathroom & placed in the tub.

 

He must be bald or the narrative would have read something like: “Cole, covered with man-scent, then grabbed me by my man-hair and dragged me through pools of man-sweat and male-spit and threw me in the man-tub.”

 

 

First, I was forced to wash myself with my own piss; Cole captured some in a cup and forced me to drink it.

 

It looks delicious but I don’t think I care for any right now, thank you.

 

 

The best was yet to come - Cole stood above me and proceeded to piss like a fire hydrant on me.

 

I know this was hyperbole, but the immediate image I got was how water REALLY comes out of a hydrant. I can just see a huge blast of piss coming out of his cock, smashing the guy up again the wall of the bathroom and knocking him unconscious.

 

 

My head was held back and forced to drink what I could. I was now bathed in a sea of hot Cole piss; which I wallowed in for what seemed like hours.

 

For Cole, it seemed like years.

 

 

I was able to wash my whole body with his hot piss juice.

 

Tropicana is missing a niche market.

 

 

Totally HOT!

 

Totally, dude.

 

 

At this point Cole promised me to have me come back to his place to play "human toilet".

 

Hasbro is missing a niche market.

 

 

I would remain in the bathtub while Cole invited dozens of his male friends to come by. One by one they would enter the bathroom and gush their male piss all over me, allowing me to drink as much as I could take/want. I'm looking forward to this scene with Cole.

 

And you’re going to be looking forward to it for a loooooooooooooooooooooong time dude. It’s impossible to find a 4th for bridge yet you think he’s gonna round up DOZENS of guys to piss all over your ass? I wanna see the Vegas odds on THAT.

 

 

I was then dragged back into the bedroom, thrown onto the bed and tied spread eagle with my legs in the air and my crack exposed.

 

Thank you for that lovely image.

 

 

Cole then slammed his hairy asshole crack right onto my face

 

“Slammed”? OUCH!

 

 

and I was forced to eat his succulent hole for what appeared to be an eternity.

 

Finally something the two of you were probably in agreement on.

 

 

I chewed out his shithole with a vengeance! The three day old male skank from his hole & crotch mixed with my hot tongue & spit. I chewed & swallowed as fast as I could to taste and catch every drop.

 

This is the point in the narrative that made me to flee to the bathroom and gargle with Listerine.

 

 

The scene quickly shifted to repeating the same activity on Cole's sweaty, skanky male pits. I slobberd them with my spit and cleaned his fucking hairy pits until they were dry.

My mouth reeked of Cole's male scent & tasted this for the rest of the session.

 

All you escorts out there, remember this little part next time he hires you and he wants to kiss.

 

 

Cole then proceeded to initiate work on my hole.

 

Cut to HOUSTON CONTROL CENTER: “On my order, initiate count down for hole work.”

 

 

Fingers first, then his collection of toys loosened up my tight hole.

 

Maybe Hasbro IS involved after all.

 

 

Cole then proceeded to fuck me like the Italian stallion he is.

 

I love poetry.

 

 

The sweat began to pour from his chiseled body & I saw a second "male-sweat" meal for me to enjoy.

 

I’m lost again. Does he mean that he’s getting a second helping of “male-sweat” or is it a code word for something else? If it is something else, I’d rather not know.

 

 

Finished with this, Cole then promised to take me out on the town as his "boy"

 

At least he’s now putting it in quotation marks.

 

 

and would use me in front of others to do his bidding.

 

Sorta like Larry Hagman and Barbara Eden?

 

 

I thought I might even be presented by Cole to another guy as a "boy gift" for that guy (or guys) to do to me what they pleased.

 

That’s a really big “might”, dude.

 

 

Cole could watch and make sure I was servicing his friends appropriately. (If not, I'm sure I'd get disciplined back home at Cole's place).

 

Yep, for the bargain rate of only $250/hr.

 

 

The session ended in the hottest way possible.

 

Everyone brace yourself!

 

 

I went back to chewing on my hot master's hole and watched him get harder & bigger than I thought possible.

 

What is Cole? A Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloon?

 

 

As Cole came closer & closer to shooting his jizz, he grabbed me by the hair,

 

Oops! He DOES have hair!

 

 

pushed by head back and forced his cock in my mouth just as he shot is huge man-load in my mouth.

 

He meant to say “man-mouth”.

 

 

Ecstasy for me.

 

And for many others, dude.

 

 

I gratefully accepted the load, swirled it around my mouth, mixed it with my Cole scented spit and then forced it back onto Cole's cock, mixed it with his three day old crotch smegma, and I took it for a second time.

 

ewwwww, crotch smegma.

 

 

I shot my load and Cole fed that to me on top of his. He then held his hand over my mouth and made sure I swallowed both loads. I did. Cole then promised to have some of his friends come over and introduce me as his "cum pig" and see how many loads I could take/swallow in a night.

 

Is this going to be before or after the dozens of guys come over to piss on him?

 

 

Looking forward to this.

 

Once again, for a looooooooooong time.

 

 

Finally- yes, I would recommend Cole to anyone and I will definitely be seeing his again real soon to continue my training as his "pig boy".

 

If even a fraction of what you said is true, you need no further training. Your diploma is waiting for you at your shrink's man-office.

 

 

 

Ya'll satisfied now?

 

Wearily yours,

 

FFF

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woodlawn Veteran

woodlawn

Posted
Posted

The Town Pump?

 

>OMG, Foom!! Welcome back!

 

 

My, my! You've had quite a change of heart since you started that thread announcing that you were tired of FFF's posts and inviting others to voice the same opinion.

 

While I sometimes find FFF's take on reviews to be witty, there are some things so absurd that they defy parody, and the review that is the subject here is definitely one of them.

 

What I really find noteworthy about Davis is that he has three dozen reviews on this site. When I think of how many different sex partners he must have had to produce three dozen reviews, I feel a little queasy. Is there any way someone with so many different sex partners can possibly be STD-free? Should that be a rule of thumb for clients -- the more reviews, the more risky the escort?

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Lucky Grand Master

+ Lucky

Posted
Posted

RE: The Town Pump?

 

OMG! Woody! Do you think everybody who has had sex with over 36 people has STD's???

 

As for my welcome back, this place has been pretty dull so yes, I was happy to see Foom show his face, well, not his face, but...:)

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woodlawn Veteran

woodlawn

Posted
Posted

RE: The Town Pump?

 

>OMG! Woody! Do you think everybody who has had sex with over

>36 people has STD's???

 

Even you are not stupid enough to interpret my remark that way. How many different sex partners would you estimate an escort must have had in order to get 36 (genuine) reviews on this site? 100? 200? 300? More?

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Donnie Proficient

Donnie

Posted
Posted

>OK! OK! ENOUGH ALREADY!! If I hear from ONE MORE PERSON

>asking me to deconstruct this review I'm going to have the

>Chinese Come-aparts!

 

This is bullshit. Nobody asked you to do this. Are you really that desperate for anonymous "fame" that your now inventing a fan club?

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FrancoDiSantisxxx Grand Master

FrancoDiSantisxxx

Posted
Posted

Brava!

 

And they say modern journalism is all sensationalized stories of het boys mudering their unborn kiddies in the prego wives and how Sadam's son was psychologically scarred as a fat kid on the play ground that he turned to torture.

 

I agree. This should be a weekly column.

 

Way to go Ms. Thomas! Your husband, Phil, must be very proud.

 

 

Trying to please the easily offended

 

http://www.gaydar.co.uk/francodisantis

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