Escort Rates by the Inch

[ready182]

I extracted this quote from DevonSFescort's post in the Deli thread about "What's Up with Escort rates":

 

" Rod Hagen's success notwithstanding, is there a glass ceiling for guys with only 6 inches? Do big spenders, even -- particularly, for my purposes -- big spenders who aren't size queens, just naturally feel like they should be getting an 8" cock, or at least a 7, with all that cash?"

 

I am laughing my ass off at the thought of escort rates being set by the inch.

 

What's a fair rate, +$28.00 (US) per hour per inch?

 

What about the client's size -- is that a factor, and if so does that increase or decrease the escorts rate? If the client calls themselves a top, I say subtract $4.00 per hour per client's inch for pain and suffering.

Don't forget we'll need to apply credits/surcharges for excessive/below-average thickness.

 

Also:

 

$1.00 Disposal fee per rubber.

 

$5.00 mounting fee.

 

$5.00 balancing fee (for unusual positions)

 

Too funny!

[Guest DCescortBOY]

>What's a fair rate, +$28.00 (US) per hour per inch?

 

 

i guess i have to raise my rates then. now, it is $23.68/inch. whenever i get my site redesigned, it will be $24.21/inch.

 

according to your rule, i should be charging $266/hour. how does that make sense?

[ready182]

Damm, the rate cards I just had printed for everyone don't

go up to 9 1/2.

[Boston Guy]

>" Rod Hagen's success notwithstanding, is there a glass

>ceiling for guys with only 6 inches? Do big spenders, even

>-- particularly, for my purposes -- big spenders who aren't

>size queens, just naturally feel like they should be getting

>an 8" cock, or at least a 7, with all that cash?"

>

>I am laughing my ass off at the thought of escort rates

>being set by the inch.

>

>What's a fair rate, +$28.00 (US) per hour per inch?

>

 

I laughed, too!

 

For me, a straight rate per inch wouldn't work. I think guys can easily have way too many inches. So I'd suggest the following formula: :-)

 

$100 for the first five inches

$25 per inch for the next three inches

no charge for the next inch

-$50 per inch above that

 

with the following modifiers:

 

-$25 if too thin

-$100 if too thick

+$25 if attached to a body with a smile

-$50 if attached to a body that is disinterested or too bored to care

 

According to this formula, if I just did the math right, a bored, disinterested guy with a thick 11 inches would have to pay me $75 to have sex with him. Sounds about right. }>

 

BG

[Barry]

>$1.00 Disposal fee per rubber.

>

>$5.00 mounting fee.

>

>$5.00 balancing fee (for unusual positions)

 

 

LMAO Ready. You just provided a perfect scenario for government regulation of prostitution in the US.

 

Barry

[Guest CraigSF39]

barry, that a hot name!!!! i knew this gy at my gym named barry once who was SOOOO hot!!!

 

barry,want to eat my shit?

[ready182]

Barry,

 

You figured me out. I'm introducing the bill in the Senate tomorrow, in hopes of getting a "rider".

[Guest JT]

>What's a fair rate, +$28.00 (US) per hour per inch?

 

What, per hour per inch? So does it mean that before it's fully erect and when it gets soft after cumming, the client would actually pay less per hour?

 

 

>$1.00 Disposal fee per rubber.

 

Make sure you pay them enough so that there won't be a recylcing fee! There should also be a package-opening (like bottle-opening) fee per rubber!

 

How about those clients who insist to see the escorts cum? Should there be an additional loading fee that would base on the size of the load?

 

 

JT

[KY_TOP]

>>$1.00 Disposal fee per rubber.

>>

>>$5.00 mounting fee.

>>

>>$5.00 balancing fee (for unusual positions)

>

>

>LMAO Ready. You just provided a perfect scenario for

>government regulation of prostitution in the US.

>

>Barry

 

....I'm afraid that under regulation Craig is going to have a problem with the OSHA inspection

[ready182]

That is correct, JT. All escorts are now required by law to carry a graduated cylinder.

 

The going rate shall be $2.00 per ML. Please remember that the correct way to measure is from the bottom of the meniscus.

[Guest DevonSFescort]

>I am laughing my ass off at the thought of escort rates

>being set by the inch.

>

>What's a fair rate, +$28.00 (US) per hour per inch?

 

ROFL, ready182 -- and not only is your plan funny but I'd actually get a raise! :7

 

Boston Guy needs to go back to the drawing board, though. Under his scheme I'd make $25 an hour less than I do now (though at least if I smiled about it I'd get it back)... :o

[ready182]

Dammit this thread is way to funny for only 190 views. I knew I should have started it in the Lounge. After all, the m4m "soap operas" get many more views and are a whole lot less interesting.