paying an escort in advance

[Guest ermingard]

Originally, I wanted to include this message in the Nice Guy/Rick Munroe debate, partly because the escort in question is a close friend of Nice Guy's. Upon further consideration for the two gentlemen (Nice Guy and Rick Munroe), I feel it is more appropriate and fair to address this issue separately.

 

I have only been with one escort. I have spent the last year seeing this fellow. We saw each other regularly. After almost a year of visits, the escort in question asked if I would consider paying in advance. I won't go into his reasons. Suffice it to say, I agreed. For a short while, I heard from the escort via email. I have never seen the fellow since I gave him the money. It was a sizable amount of money, enough to cover a year of visits.

 

I am ready to be called gullible and stupid. I am not out for justice or my money back. I certainly don't wish the escort in question ill will. I guess what I want, from both ends of this spectrum, is clarity. Is there any place in the world of clients and escorts that one can safely use the word 'trust'?

[Guest ermingard]

Originally, I wanted to include this message in the Nice Guy/Rick Munroe debate, partly because the escort in question is a close friend of Nice Guy's. Upon further consideration for the two gentlemen (Nice Guy and Rick Munroe), I feel it is more appropriate and fair to address this issue separately.

 

I have only been with one escort. I have spent the last year seeing this fellow. We saw each other regularly. After almost a year of visits, the escort in question asked if I would consider paying in advance. I won't go into his reasons. Suffice it to say, I agreed. For a short while, I heard from the escort via email. I have never seen the fellow since I gave him the money. It was a sizable amount of money, enough to cover a year of visits.

 

I am ready to be called gullible and stupid. I am not out for justice or my money back. I certainly don't wish the escort in question ill will. I guess what I want, from both ends of this spectrum, is clarity. Is there any place in the world of clients and escorts that one can safely use the word 'trust'?

[Losgatan]

>Is there any place in

>the world of clients and escorts that one can safely use the

>word 'trust'?

 

Yes there certainly is.

 

I have now traveled several times with my favorite San Francisco escort. On all but the first trip, he purchased his own plane tickets **trusting** that I would reimburse him when we met at our destination (we fly out of different airports).

 

I am both pleased and flattered that our relationship has progressed to this point. And, yes, I would trust him with an advance payment if he really needed it.

 

 

:-)

[Losgatan]

>Is there any place in

>the world of clients and escorts that one can safely use the

>word 'trust'?

 

Yes there certainly is.

 

I have now traveled several times with my favorite San Francisco escort. On all but the first trip, he purchased his own plane tickets **trusting** that I would reimburse him when we met at our destination (we fly out of different airports).

 

I am both pleased and flattered that our relationship has progressed to this point. And, yes, I would trust him with an advance payment if he really needed it.

 

 

:-)

[johnnysneakers]

Never pay an escort in advance, even in your hotel room. This is just prudent advice in many ways. For one reason, it confirms you are paying for sex or whatever which is not legal. Ever heard of sting operations?

[johnnysneakers]

Never pay an escort in advance, even in your hotel room. This is just prudent advice in many ways. For one reason, it confirms you are paying for sex or whatever which is not legal. Ever heard of sting operations?

[phage]

There are a couple of escorts who I see regularly that I trust in my home. I trust them to show up when we have an appointment scheduled. I trust them to show me a good time. I trust them enough to send them a plane ticket if needed.

 

Would I trust them with a year’s worth of advance payments? Not in this lifetime! (Hell…I’ve had boyfriends I wouldn’t trust with that much money.) Even the best-intentioned escort can’t predict what is going to happen over the next year, and just the fact that he needed the money in advance would have set off warning bells.

[phage]

There are a couple of escorts who I see regularly that I trust in my home. I trust them to show up when we have an appointment scheduled. I trust them to show me a good time. I trust them enough to send them a plane ticket if needed.

 

Would I trust them with a year’s worth of advance payments? Not in this lifetime! (Hell…I’ve had boyfriends I wouldn’t trust with that much money.) Even the best-intentioned escort can’t predict what is going to happen over the next year, and just the fact that he needed the money in advance would have set off warning bells.

[Guest Merlin]

This is part of a larger problem. If you loan money to a friend who is hard up, you are almost certain to lose both the friend and the money. The reason is simple. When it comes time to repay you, he is likely to be as hard up as before. And he has, or thinks he has, greater priorities than you; the rent, the car payment etc. He "knows" that you don't really need the money and can wait awhile longer. But there never comes a time when you are his first priority. So he give your excuses for awhile; then he thinks that if you meet you will ask him for payment. So he avoids you and will not return your calls. Presto: you have lost your friend and your money. With an escort it is similar. He continues to need money. So when you call for a meeting, you get a low priority. He hopes for a CASH client and doesn't want to tire himself. Besides, if he meets you, you might nag him.

Having said that let me say there are exceptions. I have fairly loaned large amount to an escort and been paid promptly. But I have lost more friends because I loaned them small, sometimes very small amounts.

[Guest Merlin]

This is part of a larger problem. If you loan money to a friend who is hard up, you are almost certain to lose both the friend and the money. The reason is simple. When it comes time to repay you, he is likely to be as hard up as before. And he has, or thinks he has, greater priorities than you; the rent, the car payment etc. He "knows" that you don't really need the money and can wait awhile longer. But there never comes a time when you are his first priority. So he give your excuses for awhile; then he thinks that if you meet you will ask him for payment. So he avoids you and will not return your calls. Presto: you have lost your friend and your money. With an escort it is similar. He continues to need money. So when you call for a meeting, you get a low priority. He hopes for a CASH client and doesn't want to tire himself. Besides, if he meets you, you might nag him.

Having said that let me say there are exceptions. I have fairly loaned large amount to an escort and been paid promptly. But I have lost more friends because I loaned them small, sometimes very small amounts.

[Guest Merlin]

I should add: when someone asks for a loan, ask yourself; "will he be hard up and have other priorities when he should pay me?" With an escort, it is not so easy, because he could meet with you if he wanted to. So ask yourself: If I call him will I get an answering machine or pager which he is free to ignore?

Apply the same rule you would apply to gambling: never gamble or bet more than you are prepared to lose.

[Guest Merlin]

I should add: when someone asks for a loan, ask yourself; "will he be hard up and have other priorities when he should pay me?" With an escort, it is not so easy, because he could meet with you if he wanted to. So ask yourself: If I call him will I get an answering machine or pager which he is free to ignore?

Apply the same rule you would apply to gambling: never gamble or bet more than you are prepared to lose.

[Guest PreppyWatcher]

Never! Or course some have you with your clothes off first, then ask 'You wouldn't mind paying me now, the last guy shorted me'. This presents somewhat of a problem, and sounds alarm bells.

As a friend once told me after his apartment as pilfered by his live-in 'boyfriend' who initially was a 'trick', "Fuck'em, pay'em and leave'em"

It is such a shame that there cannot be more trust out there!!!

[Guest PreppyWatcher]

Never! Or course some have you with your clothes off first, then ask 'You wouldn't mind paying me now, the last guy shorted me'. This presents somewhat of a problem, and sounds alarm bells.

As a friend once told me after his apartment as pilfered by his live-in 'boyfriend' who initially was a 'trick', "Fuck'em, pay'em and leave'em"

It is such a shame that there cannot be more trust out there!!!

[Guest Kevin 2]

<Even the best-intentioned escort can’t predict what is going to happen over the next year, and just the fact that he needed the money in advance would have set off warning bells.>

 

Warning bells?? More like a red flag attached to a big pole hitting you over the head! x(

[Guest Kevin 2]

<Even the best-intentioned escort can’t predict what is going to happen over the next year, and just the fact that he needed the money in advance would have set off warning bells.>

 

Warning bells?? More like a red flag attached to a big pole hitting you over the head! x(

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

> Is there any place in

>the world of clients and escorts that one can safely use the

>word 'trust'?

 

 

Of the approximately two dozen escorts I have known there are two that I would trust with a good deal more than my money. One of those two put his trust in me big time, and from my perspective it was VERY BIG TIME.

 

Having said that, I think there is wisdom and common sense needed about the obligations you ask someone to accept on your behalf.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

> Is there any place in

>the world of clients and escorts that one can safely use the

>word 'trust'?

 

 

Of the approximately two dozen escorts I have known there are two that I would trust with a good deal more than my money. One of those two put his trust in me big time, and from my perspective it was VERY BIG TIME.

 

Having said that, I think there is wisdom and common sense needed about the obligations you ask someone to accept on your behalf.

[Guest jeffOH]

I've had a client loan me a few thousand so I could get a new car(forest green '94 Pontiac Firebird). I could have taken the money out of my account, but this client offered to help me and I have been "working" off my debt for the past year. Same deal with my computer and another client. I really appreciate what they did as it allowed me to keep my money in the bank.

 

Some escorts are really just hustlers who will play upon a client's emotions and use them to get as much as they can. I have known some escorts like this and this type of behavior not only disgusts me, but

it also has a negative impact on the image of escorts in general.

 

Happy Holidays!

JEFF

jeff4hire@aol.com:-)

[Guest jeffOH]

I've had a client loan me a few thousand so I could get a new car(forest green '94 Pontiac Firebird). I could have taken the money out of my account, but this client offered to help me and I have been "working" off my debt for the past year. Same deal with my computer and another client. I really appreciate what they did as it allowed me to keep my money in the bank.

 

Some escorts are really just hustlers who will play upon a client's emotions and use them to get as much as they can. I have known some escorts like this and this type of behavior not only disgusts me, but

it also has a negative impact on the image of escorts in general.

 

Happy Holidays!

JEFF

jeff4hire@aol.com:-)

[Guest ermingard]

I will admit to being naive about such matters. Not only was this my first and only escort, but I have never had a relationship. I have been fascinated by my own reaction to this matter. I have not been in the least concerned about the money lost. Instead, I have just felt as though I have lost a friend. I did not think of my relationship with this escort as anything beyond a friendship, and I continued to appreciate the fact that this is a business...a way for some to earn a living. I had (and still have) a high regard for the goals this fellow was trying to achieve, including working toward his degree and straightening out the bumps in his life. There were a number of factors effecting this escort's behavior in the end, and if I believe them all (which I do...and they were significant upheavels in his life), it still leaves me questioning my definition of friendship and trust. True friends last a lifetime, and I had no reason to believe the particular escort in question wasn't sincere in all he said and did.

 

I have thought of doing research into contacting a new escort, but I keep focusing on what I had considered to be the perfect escort for my needs. I always entertained him in my own home, and I always felt comfortable with that arrangement. I felt complete trust. It would have never crossed my mind, as time passed with our business relationship, that trust and friendship were not there on both our parts.

 

Certainly escorts meet far more clients than clients meet escorts. And certainly many of these escorts genuinely enjoy their time with some of their clients. Does this constitute the building of a friendship, or is this exclusively a business?

 

I should add that this escort has since retired from the business. He announced his retirement six months after accepting my advance payment. I am happy for his choice, and I continue to only wish him the very best. If taking my money will help him to achieve his goals, then so be it. Money is not the issue. Trust and friendship and character are the issues.

[Guest ermingard]

I will admit to being naive about such matters. Not only was this my first and only escort, but I have never had a relationship. I have been fascinated by my own reaction to this matter. I have not been in the least concerned about the money lost. Instead, I have just felt as though I have lost a friend. I did not think of my relationship with this escort as anything beyond a friendship, and I continued to appreciate the fact that this is a business...a way for some to earn a living. I had (and still have) a high regard for the goals this fellow was trying to achieve, including working toward his degree and straightening out the bumps in his life. There were a number of factors effecting this escort's behavior in the end, and if I believe them all (which I do...and they were significant upheavels in his life), it still leaves me questioning my definition of friendship and trust. True friends last a lifetime, and I had no reason to believe the particular escort in question wasn't sincere in all he said and did.

 

I have thought of doing research into contacting a new escort, but I keep focusing on what I had considered to be the perfect escort for my needs. I always entertained him in my own home, and I always felt comfortable with that arrangement. I felt complete trust. It would have never crossed my mind, as time passed with our business relationship, that trust and friendship were not there on both our parts.

 

Certainly escorts meet far more clients than clients meet escorts. And certainly many of these escorts genuinely enjoy their time with some of their clients. Does this constitute the building of a friendship, or is this exclusively a business?

 

I should add that this escort has since retired from the business. He announced his retirement six months after accepting my advance payment. I am happy for his choice, and I continue to only wish him the very best. If taking my money will help him to achieve his goals, then so be it. Money is not the issue. Trust and friendship and character are the issues.

[+ Charlie]

I am very confused about your purpose in starting this thread. If you are not concerned about the money, if you are happy that the escort has left the business and wish him well, why did you bring the whole thing up? If you are actually looking for advice about whom to trust with your money, then all I can say is that escorts are no different than anyone else as far as character goes: some are trustworthy, some are not, and circumstances can make anyone's future conduct unpredictable.

 

If you are asking for advice as a business matter, paying an escort a year's advance is not the same as putting your lawyer on retainer. A simple rule of thumb is to ask what your chances are of recovering the money if someone does not/can not go through with his part of the bargain: with your travel agent it is close to 100%--if he doesn't go out of business--with your brother-in-law it is 50%--better if the family is tight and applies pressure--and with an escort it is virtually zero.

 

If you can afford to lose the money and really do not feel hurt and betrayed, consider yourself lucky.

[+ Charlie]

I am very confused about your purpose in starting this thread. If you are not concerned about the money, if you are happy that the escort has left the business and wish him well, why did you bring the whole thing up? If you are actually looking for advice about whom to trust with your money, then all I can say is that escorts are no different than anyone else as far as character goes: some are trustworthy, some are not, and circumstances can make anyone's future conduct unpredictable.

 

If you are asking for advice as a business matter, paying an escort a year's advance is not the same as putting your lawyer on retainer. A simple rule of thumb is to ask what your chances are of recovering the money if someone does not/can not go through with his part of the bargain: with your travel agent it is close to 100%--if he doesn't go out of business--with your brother-in-law it is 50%--better if the family is tight and applies pressure--and with an escort it is virtually zero.

 

If you can afford to lose the money and really do not feel hurt and betrayed, consider yourself lucky.

[Bilbo]

One thing that I often do with my clients who are just coming out of the closet, have never had a relationship or dated very much, is that after six months or so I let them know that I do really hope that they keep coming to me but that I think that it is time for them to experiment with a little variety. ("If you love something, let it go, etc.") I am happiest when the client both retains an ongoing relationship with me and starts trying other escorts that we can talk about his reactions to. My point being that it is high time for you to, yes, "start researching". But, if I were you, I would try this time to wind up seeing two regulars and the occaisional variety stud. True, you won't see any one of them as often, but I think that you are ready for this next step on your road.