Does escort deserve to have a boyfriend to love?

[Guest DavidYoung]

I just curious if escort could have a boyfriend. I know it is hard to find a boyfriend who understand him that escorting is his job. I have heard that escort could date escort or have escort as a boyfriend. How about escort with regular guy (not escort)? I guess escort can still share his feeling and love to this guy too. Please give me some input about this. Thank you.

[ted]

I think if you do a search you will find a few rather lengthy threads on this topic. My summary is it depends-on the escort, the partner and the situation. We have at least one escort partnered with another escort, Rick-Derek; and an escort partnered with a non-escort-Rod; who post here regularly. I am aware of others in both situations. I am also aware of escorts who "retired" at the behest of their partners. In the escort-nonescort situation, the partner in particular needs to be a special guy. To understand the needs of the escort, that it is a job, and he's not making love to everyone, but rather sex as a profession, and that their commitment is different is difficult. Those guys do exist, but you need to be lucky to find them.

[Guest Esc_Tracker]

It does appear to be hard for an escort to find a boyfriend. But over all, I suspect it is easier for the average escort, who has youth, looks and personality going for him, than for the average gay man.

 

Perhaps a more relevant problem is one of race. This is something I can only understand intelectually, as I seem to like almost all skin tones, but there are many North Americans who find Blacks and Asians unappealing. As looks count for a lot in the gay scene, Black or Asian escorts must have a particularly hard time finding boyfriends as the pool of potential partners is much smaller.:-(

 

But to answer your question: yes, escorts do deserve someone to love.

[Guest Blink]

I think escort does well with a boyfriend if the boyfriend happens to be another escort too. They both will understand each other's job very well. I once have relationship with an escort and it never worked.

[Guest Stephan-Lacoste]

over 3 years ago , when I first got in Las Vegas for the first time, I was mostly doing what we all called " prostitution " walking through the bars and trying to make few bucks with anyone I could get to bring in the car or at their place, well that was really bad but One day I met that guy , really sweet , cute and he could speak french. He knew what I was doing for living because he saw me in the bar but we end up being friend that night and we end up being lover a month later. Thanks to him, I discover an other world, because that was the first time for me to be in a relation , kinda hard to know what you really have to do , but he was 4 years older than me and that really did help.

Well I was becoming really popular at that time, and I was really busy, and I know today that I did hurt his feeling by doing that job, but he never gave up on me. Never. I know that was really hard for him, knowing that I was having sex with others and that he was just waiting for me to go to bed all together... but I was getting an other call and could not go to bed with him and such things. I know he was hurt and that last over an year and a half. He is a good guy but did not deserve to have someone doing escorting.

I don't know if anyone went through the same thing, having a boy friend doing escorting but I know it is not good for the relation.

 

Now 3 years after I met my first boy friend, I felt in love with an other escort and believe me, it is not really easy either. I get really jaloeus , I said, really really jaloeus and I know that can't last long either becuase I would not be able to handle it.

 

This is the way I am, I realized I could not be in a relation If I'm still escorting or if my lover keep doing that job.

hug

[+ deej]

The answer to the question in the subject is yes. Escorts, as anyone else, do deserve someone to love.

 

Is it easy? No. I do know a local couple that have been making it work for five years though. One escorts (and did porn), his BF doesn't. But they have a pretty open relationship. The BF may not escort but he's a slut. When the escort is on a call, the BF will often as not be found at a bathhouse or sex party.

 

Another couple I know reached equillibrium with "geographic monogamy". Escorting was OK when he was traveling, but at home he was faithful to his (non-escort) BF.

 

The mechanics and realities will be as different from couple to couple as any other facet of life as a couple.

 

The right man is out there for you, David. You're sweet, charming, and smart. You're a catch. You just need to get caught by the right man. }>

[Guest AdamLVescort]

I agree w/ DeeJ. But I guess I am a lucky guy. I have a BF, now going on 2 years. At first things were kind of tuff since I had never slept w/ another guy while I was w/ him but now everything is cool. We have probably the best communication that you could imagine. :9 He understands that this is a Business and if I am going to do it I better do it well! He has even told me that I have to "Practice" on him just so he can judge how good I am doing. LMAO I love it! Yes I enjoy sex, I especially love sex w/ him, and I love working as an escort. He doesn't escort, we have never had a 3way, and he has never slept with anyone else but me. Now guys I told him that if he saw some young cute hottie he could go after him. But to this day he has yet to tric... I hope my life continues to be as good as it is now. Having friends like you guys makes things even better!

[Guest BlindPoodle]

I'm just a regular guy. I'm not an escort but I sleep next to one nightly. He's doesn't wake up everyday & stand in front of the mirror touting how "hot" he is. And I have no fear of him leaving me or saying "do you know who I am?" just because I ask him to drag his butt outside and wash the car. He wont buck me. He knows who does the laundry.

 

 

BP

[Rick Munroe]

>He doesn't wake up everyday & stand in

>front of the mirror touting how "hot" he is.

 

I do that but my bf just laughs at me.

And that is the secret to a long lasting, healthy relationship.

[Guest JT]

Hi David,

 

Thank you for bringing up such an interesting question, "Does escort deserve to have a boyfriend to love?" My answer is “Why not?” I agree with deej that escorts do deserve someone (and yes even a bf) to love. Of course, there are individuals who despise escorts so much that they believe escorts are subhuman and do not deserve any kind of love, period. However, I do not share their views! To me, what is important is for escorts not to have a low-esteem that they think they are not worthy to be loved. Self-loathing can be one of the biggest obstacles to find true love.

 

That said, any kinds of intimate human relationships are complex and constantly evolving. As pointed out by deej, “the mechanics and realities will be as different from couple to couple as any other facet of life as a couple.” Depending on the escort and his bf, each couple would have to figure out what will be acceptable and comfortable to each other. They would have to be willing to find out and experience the joy and heartache, as well as the laughter and tears of a long-term loving relationship!

 

 

Best wishes,

JT :-)

[Guest cp8036]

David,

 

What would you prefer? a bf that is an escort, or a non-escort?

 

For some the idea that their bf is an escort may be a positive, albeit temporary. The non-escort bf might get his ego pumped knowing most men will have to pay for the access to this escort, while he gets is for free

 

One issue that always is problematic in a relation (gay or straight) is sex. Seems it would be hard to not have the sex work issue spill into a relationship. I think as gay men many of us are a bit insecure, I know I can be. Jealousy seems to be a big problem, but also I would wonder if the two bf's would doubt each other's sincerity. Many encounters in the escort's day-to-day life are illusions, perhaps the non-escort bf would obsess how genuine his partner is, is he saying what he thinks I want to hear, and so on.

 

Perhaps would be easier between two escorts. At least they both know what the job entails, and the feelings that surround their work.

 

Right or wrong much of our society does not give a favorable nod to sexwork. Often the escort may need to hide is real job.

 

Also, many potential clients may not be thrilled to learn their fantasy date has a long term boyfriend.

 

Just some of my thoughts/rants. Awak gersang? '}>'

[mmk]

My god, yes an escort deserves to have someone to love! Everyone deserves someone to love. I feel that just because someone is an escort does not mean that they cannot be in a successful relationship. I know many gay relationships where it is very open sexually(whether that is an advantage or disadvantage could be up for serious debate but that would be a different post) so what would be the difference if one of those partners happen to be an escort.

David, if you are with someone and if 1)they have no problem with you being an escort, then pursue it or 2)if you are dating an escort and you have no problem with that then go for that. (I do not know if you are an escort or if this was just a hypothetical question so I hope I did not insult you with my comments.)

However, I do think that if someone is an escort and they do not feel they deserve that kind of happiness BECAUSE they are an escort then maybe they should not continue in that line of work.

[Guest cp8036]

One more point... I think is important to add that being an escort is not a bad thing. Maybe dating an escort could be a challenge. We all know most of the escorts are just regular guys, and good people. But, the job could raise some issues.

[Guest omnicoax]

Does escort deserve to have a boyfriend to love?

 

As a psychologist i will ask you why you choose that "deserve" word ?

 

What you expect from him ? What he can expect from you ? Deej what "open relationship" means ? Whats the difference between that and "friends that also have sex" ? Friends can love you too. Sometimes they care about you more than your boyfriends.

 

David are you searching for a boyfriend or for a boy friend ?

 

I will repeat Deej's last words. The right man is out there for you, David :-)

[Guest cp8036]

<...As looks count for a lot in the gay scene, Black or Asian escorts must have a particularly hard time finding boyfriends as the pool of potential partners is much smaller...>

 

Can we lump Latino escorts in there as well? I recognize the above is not your preference, but it seems too absurd to even mention. Where is Sally Struthers?????, I need to send money now, these poor unwanted souls are going hungry from neglect. Fiajate !!!

 

I know I live close to Berkeley's P.C. Social Police, but I really hope, really hope, that gay America doesn't summarily rank the physical attractiveness of Black and Asian men below that of Whites. We have to be more enlightened then the general population.

 

Granted many white men couple with white men, but this is not due only to some The Boys from Brazil-esque perception of white beauty. It may be due to language, culture, proximity, and also that there is just a ton of white folk in the veld.

 

I think Black and Asian escorts will have the same problems finding a bf as a caucasion escort will. Lots of guys would just be too insecure with their escort-bf having sex many times a week with others.

 

On the plus side, the US population has a small number of Asian and Black men relative to caucasians, so all the Black or Asian escorts in the market for a bf should be able to go swimming in that pool of potential partners.

 

Your point seems to imply the black and asian escort want a white boyfriend. Perhaps the black escort wants a black bf, or an asian bf. The asian may lust after a latino.

[Guest cp8036]

There is a right man out there for everyone. Just finding him is the hard part. For me, they typically live on the other side of the country.