Hiring Escorts NEED or WANT?

[Guest gimmetwinkies]

Today I had lunch with a very close friend and I "came out to him" finally about my frequent hiring of escorts.

 

It ended up in a conversation that sounded more like a reprimand. My friend seems to think that people don't hire escorts unless they NEED to. I told him that some people hire escorts because it's just an alternative to finding guys in other ways. He told me I was full of shit! He thinks no one would pay for it if they didn't need to.

 

By the way, he also admitted that he hires escorts, but said he was honest enough to admit to himself "it is because no man would sleep with me unless he were blind"!

 

This disturbs me, because his words continue to ring in my head. Do I hire escorts because I just can't get it anywhere else? Am I lying to myself when I say I'm doing it as an alternative to going out and picking someone up? Do I need to lie to myself to protect my fragile ego? Does anyone really hire escorts for any other reason but because it's the only way they can get some? All I keep thinking about is those many many many many nights when I come home from the bars or parties or what have you, alone and then call an escort.

 

I tried to answer myself honestly and sometimes I'm afraid of what I am thinking. I'm still going round and round and cannot seem to give myself a "truthful" answer.

 

I really want to know what others think. Is it desperation, or just an alternative way of hooking up? HONEST client AND escort views are of great help at this point.

[Guest datamasterva]

Here is my three cents on the subject.

 

Guys in my area find me attractive and unattractive. The truth is that looks are very perceptive and for every guy that thinks you are a stud I can guarantee that at least one things that you are not.

 

For me, escorts provides a good service that meets my time frame and expectations. I like guys that are experienced and who are into sex. I do not date or do one night stands with other guys because I do not want to lead them on just to get into bed with them. At least with escorts, the expectations are clear both ways.

 

I guess what I am saying is that my geographical area thinks that gay is a four letter word instead of three. If you are not into the bar scene, have a busy schedule or just like the convience of the scheduling of an escort, then I think escorts are the way to go.

 

For the record, many guys hire escorts simply because they are into very certain aspects of sex and prefer to have say in to what all is to be done in the bedroom. In normal situations with non-escorts you may have to compromise and do some things that you are not normally into.

 

Confused? Yeah, me too. Damn I need to get laid, oh well.

 

Jim

[mmk]

I do not think that it is because you cannot get it anywhere else but one of the following reasons:

 

1)You know what you want and you do not want to be bothered with the bullshit game playing that we are all guilty of playing in bars. You do not have to waste your time cruising someone, looking at someone and then turning away when they look at you and being constantly bothered by people that you are not interested in(come on people, these have happened to all of us).

 

2)You want some fantasy fullfillment. There is something exciting about someone coming over and sex happening within the following five to ten minutes. There are no strings attached and you have that escorts full attention for however long your time is together.

 

I feel that hiring an escort fulfills both a need and a want. It does not mean that you are desperate, just that you want to seek some satisfaction. I do not see where this is so bad nor shows signs of desperation.

[fedssocr1]

This is an interesting question. For me it's a little bit of both I think. I tend to really like a certain type of guy sexually...young guys who are very boyish. Now obviously lots of different people are attracted to different sorts of guys. I suppose it's possible I might find a cute little 19 year old out there who's attracted to 33 y.o. bald men, but chances are not huge. So, if I can hire a cute little thing who is everything I want and need sexually at the time, why not? It gets me what I want in a sex partner and it's a financial boon for my escort. I also tend to treat my guys well and am a pretty nice guy, so hopefully they're having a good time too.

 

I find that men who are attracted to me are usually not guys that I am physically attracted to. I also don't spend a lot of time in bars or other traditional pickup places and personal ads are an avenue I have tried with mixed success. Most of the time I am pretty happy on my own, but from time to time I like a little intimate human contact (especially in these messed up times we're living in). Since I can afford it and it doesn't hurt anyone why not pay for it. So, I think in my case, in order to get the type of guy I really dig I probably do need to pay for it. But I'm not ashamed of that.

[Guest jeffOH]

As an escort myself, I tend to hire because of convenience and also because I'm often attracted to guys who I consider to be "out-of-my-league". I don't go out to bars and I've never been to a bathhouse. As someone else stated, there are no bar games and I know I will always be satisfied.

 

Jeff4hire@aol.com

[Guest paysforit]

I have been a "John" for almost 30 years now. I started hiring escorts (and street trade as well) when I was still in my 20's. I was pretty hot back in those days and usually had my pick of guys (freebies) out in the bars, but I was not always able to do the things I wanted to do sexually. Hiring escorts allowed me to find high quality sex partners that will do the things I want to do sexually. Now that my looks have faded and my body sags here and there, paying for sex has become a necessity. I am not complaining. That is just the way it is. I still want high quality sex partners and paying for that is how it works. I guess a lot of people out there have a problem with this, but I have never been troubled by it. During all this time I have had three or four long term non-commercial relationships, and during those periods I curtailed my "John" activities for the most part. At this point in time I am not interested in another relationship, but my sex drive remains strong. I am in this thing for the long haul with no apologies. It always amuses me to see how people rationalize their use of escorts when leaving reviews on this site. God forbid any of them should need to use the services of an escort simply because they would not likely end up in the sack with anybody remotely as attractive unless they were willing to pay for it.

[Guest man2man4u40]

It sounds like your friend has his own problems with self-esteem. It doesn't matter whether you hire an escort because you need or want him? I compare it to ordering from a favorite restaurant. You don't need to buy food at a restaurant. You could cook for yourself. But often isn't it more desirable to order off a menu, have it delivered to your door (brings a whole new meaning to "room service"), just the way you like it?

 

--Jack in SF

[Guest Merlin]

Well Gemmetwinkies, I infer from you question that you are at a time in life when you are not quite as attractive as you once were--who is--but you are having trouble accepting it. Obviously you can still find guys to pick up without paying. If you were really unattractive now you would be painfully aware of it and we would not be having this conversation. Time will solve your problem--you will get used to the idea of growing older and less attractive--everyone does. In the meantime you are concerned that you may not get the really attractive guys you would like (and can hire). Since you are in doubt I suggest you make more attempts to find them without paying. If you are successful it will restore your confidence. If not it should answer you questions. Hopefully the prior posts to this thread will convince you that hiring escorts because you need to is not something you need apologize for. The real point is that your standards for partners is high and you do not chose to lower your standards. If you can afford escorts why apologize for high standards?

[Guest Gentle Dude]

Having led a "straight" life all this time, I have been pursued by many younger women and gay men, so I don't think I'd have a hard time looking for a relationship if I wanted to. But I just got through ending a 12 year relationship, so I am not looking for one right now. Hiring an escort is a convenient way to fulfill my sexual needs without the hassles of the "dating" or "bar" scene. Believe me, the fees I pay the escort are much much less than what I've spent when I was in a relationship.

 

GD

[Guest LOVEHANDLE]

I hire escorts occassionally because I CAN afford it! Why be penalized for having the privilege. Sorry, but I am in a relationship for 20 years now with the same loving and caring guy who I wanted to retire and spend the rest of my life with: hiring escorts either together or alone spices up the sometimes may look like a dull sex life! It is helping us: it's the same as watching porn together or alone, we both benefit from it.