Time limits being vague

[Guest cp8036]

I have been talking to a guy that I am sure will hire soon. We traded pix, emailed, and talked. Seemed to get on well, and both think will be good time. Talked about some partying as well to enhance the time, as both are into occasionally.

 

He is eager to do a lot, but I told him that I am not a rich guy, just saved for a little treat for myself. He has moderate/high rates, and I have to set aside for it. If I were rich, I'd hire for overnighter, but alas, I cannot.

 

He said, considering the party thing that not to worry so much, we can work it out.

 

I am uncomfortable with the vagueness. I relayed to him I don't want to have an awkward moment at the end. Days later during a call, I again asked about the rates/time limit etc. He said not to worry, we will have good time, and money will work out. I told him outright, I cannot afford 3-4-5-6 hours at $X/hr. He implied what won't be the case. Other similar cases when was some partying and perhaps chemisty (no pun intended), he just told the client to pay what he felt. I pressed on, and he was still was vague. I asked, if a client and you did this, both had lot fun over 3-4 hours, and beforehand you said same thing, "pay what you like", would you be happy with just an hour's pay. He said no, but only slightly hinted very that two hours and $300 would be cool.

 

Year or so past, I was with fun guy and both of us seemed to have fun. About 61 minutes I suggested we wash...get dressed. He said...come on...we're having fun. I said that I came for an hour, and planned accordingly. He said, "come on" dont worry about the money, let's keep having fun". It was HOT fun indeed.

 

Well, after three hours, we both got dressed. Then came the goodbye and money part. I handed over the $125 as planned. He said... "UMMMM... 3 hours x 125.00 is $375.00." I remarked that you implied money/time no longer issue, told me not to worry. I was clear that I expected/planned for an hour. Guess I took message wrong, or he purposely strung me along. I was embarrassed and pissed. Didn't have the cash, so we marched to an ATM, and parted in anger.

 

Does any one have similar thing, or advice?

[Justice]

You know how much that you can afford. Agree to a certain amount of time in advance. Keep an eye on the clock. That way a good time will be had by all.

[Paul Revere]

Budget for an hour, plan for an hour, and have aan hour of fun.

 

You are looking for more, but aren't willing to pay for it, so stop looking. The escorts who are vague and are always saying "We will have fun" with out being more specific are hustling you, as you found ot with your other exmple. It is clearly happening again with the escort you are now trying to book.

 

Forget the partying. Party with your freinds. Keep the escort thing a business relationship, and you will enjoy it more, and not feel cheated when your time is up.

 

Read the other thread about being "friends with escorts" that is on the board. Some of that discussion applies to your situation.

 

And on a unrelated note, when did the word "party" become a verb. "Party" as a verb, the way you used it, simply means drinking and/or drugging. I would advise keeping "partying" and time with an escort as two separate functions. Try to enjoy the "companionship" without being altered. It will be more fun, and you will have a better memry of it.

 

I am now getting off my soapbox, and going off to work.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

cp8036,

 

Can't argue with the advice of Paul or Justice... good sound conservative advice that will keep you out of trouble.

 

Here's a somewhat less conservative approach to consider... keep an eye on the clock and after the prescribed time limit has veen reached, break the activities and pay him the agreed amount -- your obligation has been met. Let him know that if he is having fun and wishes to stay longer off the clock then great but that you just wanted to meet your obligation to him up front so to speak. THis definitely puts the ball in his court.

[Guest cp8036]

Thanks for note. I share your feelings about the transformation of the word party from noun to verb. Guess when I hit middle age 39, became divorced, I follow our breeder brothers by going into a second adolesence. Maybe next will be red sports car, gold chains, and a hairpiece.

 

I am just out for fun, not so much companionship. But, point well taken.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

> Guess when I hit

>middle age 39, became divorced,

>I follow our breeder brothers

>by going into a second

>adolesence. Maybe next

>will be red sports car,

>gold chains, and a hairpiece.

>

 

Don't know about the other two... but I recommend the red sports car. :-)

[Traveller]

Well TY,

That's nice and practical advice, but pretty much of a big show-stopper. I say pretty much just go with the flow and if they ask for more money in the end, get a crazed look in your eyes, grab the nearest blunt object, start drooling and then mumble incoherently. Usually works like a charm.

 

Later.

[Guest cp8036]

Hummm

 

Not even sure about the red sports car. I am too tall to fit into a Miata. Have all my hair, and dont care for jewelry. So guess will be sex and drugs. This is San Francisco....

[Guest MrB]

LOL. Guess we had that coming. If you just make sure that you both come in the first hour, there is a natural break in which you can say stuff like time is up etc. and if he wants to go on off the clock, go with it if you want to. I usually do. :-)

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

>Well TY,

>That's nice and practical advice, but

>pretty much of a big

>show-stopper.

 

Yes, it can be... the only reason for my hesitation. But there is an ebb and flow to these things (else a rocket launch) and if you are prepared before hand to drop the dime then it shouldn't require changing planes or anyting like that.

 

I say pretty

>much just go with the

>flow and if they ask

>for more money in the

>end, get a crazed look

>in your eyes, grab the

>nearest blunt object, start drooling

>and then mumble incoherently.

 

Personally, I like your scenario much better... it brings out the voyeur in me :-o

 

Usually

>works like a charm.

>

 

I bet it does... :-)

[+ Charlie]

I keep one eye on the clock if things seem to be running long, and as we approach the end of the time limit I'm prepared to pay for, I say, "I think we had better finish up, because I only brought enough money for X hour(s)." By the way, I would NEVER go to an ATM with an escort, especially one who had already been obviously unreliable.

[Bilbo]

A bit off subject -- Few clients rob themselves of a good time more than those looking at the clock and insisting that the action completely fill out the allotted time. Yes, there is a natural ebb and flow at work here, and if you totally ignore it in order to "get your money's worth" you just blew listening to your own pleasure instead of your pocketbook.

[Guest pickwick]

>A bit off subject -- Few

>clients rob themselves of a

>good time more than those

>looking at the clock and

>insisting that the action completely

>fill out the allotted time.

 

 

I've never hired an escort for as little as an hour, but if I did I certainly wouldn't want to pay the price quoted for that time if he left early. If I wanted him to leave early, of course, I wouldn't complain.

 

Many escorts (as well as this website) insist that the money paid to them is for their time only. If so, they need to provide the time that is being paid for.

[+ deej]

I agree with you Bilbo, as always, but only to a degree. I do pay attention to the clock, but not for me -- it's out of respect for the escort. If I book 2 hours, I always make mention of the fact that time is running out near the end in case they hadn't noticed.

 

One of the nicest compliments I've ever had was when a kid recently told me "hey, I'm having fun here" and then lifted his legs in the air for round 2. :o Or when a well-known-but-now-retired escort in Vegas got to the end of our encounter (and beyond), showered with me, and then took me out to dinner.

 

But, yes, I had clients who used to be so worried about an hour being exactly 60 minutes they forgot to have fun. :-( Let's face it folks, this should be about having fun.

[seeker630]

Deej - perhaps you;ve mentioned this before & I missed it - are you an escort?

[Bilbo]

A pleasant little cheat where you can watch the clock without appearing to do so (which I used more often with my massage clients than with my escort clients) is to make the appointment for either an hour or an hour and a half. Get yourself a two headed casette tape player. Mix yourself some music onto tape - much better than radio (no commercials) and even CDs (more variety in styles and more focus on the matter in hand) - then, for a one hour toss in two 30 minute sides and for an hour and a half two 45 minute sides. (Note this can also be used to measure an hour and a quarter, which would maybe give you time for getting dressed and paying?) You can hear when the machine clicks between tapes, giving you a half time warning, and when the music quits playing, the time is over. Look, Ma, no clocks in the room atall!

[+ deej]

Used to be. Back when I was young and (apparently) attractive.

 

It was a long, long time ago.

[Guest blankman]

Bilbo, your font of amazingly practical advice never ceases to amaze me!!

[Guest EWC]

Another approach which you may take, especially on the first "date" might be to drop the agreed amount onto a nearby dresser or table when you first meet. This sort of establishes in the escorts mind what he is likely to get and he can take it from there. By the way, since this is a first date, this also assures him that he's going to get paid, so he can relax a little. If he wishes to stay and party after the agreed amount of time cool, if he's up and out so be it. This technique also works if it's his place. Most of the escorts I know have a way of getting you out when they think the engagement is over.

[Guest cp8036]

I was planning to leave envelope with cash in sight on a table. At two hours, I will say time to settle. If we both decide to stop the "meter" from running, then should be fine. I don't want to steal more time than he is willing to provide. However, if he genuinely wants to continue it will be clear we change from commercial time to personal time.

[CT Dick]

CP, I disagree with all these posts. I find that during a session is the worst time to make decisions. I am often so into it that I'd be willing to sign off on a second mortgage.

 

I (IMHO) think that you should email the young man with exactly what you have presented here: You can't afford more than $X, you want a great time with him, you don't want to be discussing money while in bed with a beautiful young man, and you would like to have the financial thing straightened out before the session.

 

Dick

[Guest ChicagoCorey]

I completely agree with CT Dick and I think any escort should respect that. I actually appreciate the forwardness -- and it doesn't make it less "spontaneous" or more "robotic"; it also would make me as an escort feel more comfortable so I can enjoy it. If I'm having a good time, I don't mind playing for 3 hours and only getting paid for one -- but I want to know this up front. If people try to pull a fast one and not tell me they only have money for one, I feel ripped off. Setting the ground rules up front -- knowing that the time can change but the money won't if everyone is enjoying themselves -- is the best way to guarantee a fun time.

 

 

-------

chicagocorey@yahoo.com

new site and pictures

http://www.geocities.com/chicagocorey

[Guest DVS]

> if they ask

>for more money in the

>end, get a crazed look

>in your eyes, grab the

>nearest blunt object, start drooling

>and then mumble incoherently. Usually

>works like a charm.

 

 

LMAO, I think this is great! Maybe even run your fingers through your hair for the wild look and discuss your infatuation with heartbeats. A good meat cleaver close by may work too! :o

 

Have fun I know I do! Just kidding of course!

[Guest loverboy]

I'm sorry this is a little behind, but I've been away and I'd like to put in my two cents' worth. I agree with Justice and Paul Revere. Tampa Yankee's suggestion below is good, too. Traveller is right about "show-stopper," but somewhere between 50-65 minutes there is bound to be a pause in the action to come up for air. Another possibility is to put the agreed-upon amount that you intend to spend on the dresser at the beginning and make a remark about "here is your fee" or "here is the fee for your time" or even "here is the fee for your time that we agreed on." This is often done anyway in a first encounter at the request of the escort, to reassure him that he won't be stiffed (so to speak).

 

About the "show-stopper" aspect of Tampa Yankee's suggestion, it will probably have little effect on you, since you know it is coming, and since you will be watching the clock anyway (already a show-stopper). If he takes it as a cue to end the session, then he probably wasn't going to go on without charging you anyway, and if he wants to stay beyond the time and continue, he will. After all, if he's going to charge you for overtime and you don't want to be, there has to be a show-stopper anyway. Otherwise you get into the situation from a year ago that you described in your original post.

 

However you do it, you need to make it absolutely clear where the meter stops, and that if he wants to go on from there it's by his choice off the clock. Don't let him turn your meter limit into something vague or ambiguous like last time ("Don't worry..."). That can be taken two ways, as you found out before. If you get a response like that, then I think you can and should be very direct in saying something on the order of "I've used up what I can afford at this point. I'm having a great time, and I hope you are too, and I'd love to go on, but it will have to be as part of the arrangement that we already had."

 

As has been said many times before, ambiguity, whether it be about money or about services, is never a good thing in this arena. If there are certain aspects of the encounter that you want to be sure will be included, make sure to ask up front, and don't accept an ambiguous or non-committal answer ("everything will be OK" or "don't worry" or ....). If something is *not* discussed, you might assume that it will be included, and your assumption might turn out to be correct or incorrect; if it is incorrect, that's your problem for not bringing it up in advance; and all kinds of things might come up spontaneously in a session that were not discussed beforehand. But if something is explicitly brought up in advance and you get a vague or ambiguous answer, you should assume that means that it will *not* come out the way you want; why else would the answer be vague? So you may want to look elsewhere in your hiring.

[Guest loverboy]

Bilbo, you are a genius. And the music can also let you know about how much time is left at any point along the way.

 

Charlie, your suggestion is good, too. And I strongly second your remark about the ATM, both from the point of view of security and from the point of view of not being hustled, as cp8036 was before. When we've reached my dollar limit, that's it; I'm out of cash - no ATM, nothing in my sock, no IOUs.