Jeff Palmer Review from Nob Hill Theatre in San Francisco

[Guest SFJEFF]

I couldn't resist writing a quick review of the most hysterical on stage performance I have ever seen by a stripper. The Nob Hill Theatre has been advertising Jeff Palmer headlining this weekend for a few months. [http://www.jeffpalmer.net] So of course, I was anticipating a great show. As the time got closer they advertised that Jeff would be performing his two musical singles "Conectando" and "Easy". He would then do his "nasty" autograph session following his performance. For anyone who goes to the Nob Hill Theatre you know that the normal performance (if there is such a thing as normal) has a dancer coming out on stage and he strips quickly to nothing and then goes from patron to patron in the audience doing lap dances getting tips. Tonight as "Jimmy Jax" was performing at 7:30PM (the show right before Jeff's), I knew we were in for a different kind of show. Little did I know that I would be able to hardly contain hysterical laughter at what I was about to see.

 

During Jimmy Jax' performance the workerbees at the theatre were setting up a fog machine as well as a fan to presumably blow the fog in the direction of the dancer. Ummm interesting, I thought. At 8PM, the curtains opened and the announcer said, "For the first time in San Francisco, Jeff Palmer performing his two singles". Jeff stood there on stage with a black cape and hood and of course black high top boots. He also had a headset on with a microphone, although the headset wasn't really attached to anything. The music began to start and Jeff stood up and through back his cape. As suspected, there he stood with an amazing body with only a g-string on and the cape around his back. His g-string was black with white strands on the front. It stretched around in the back and tied only at the top. Now his single started and he started to lipsynch to his song. At first I thought, good music until the words started coming out. It was the most off key attempt at cheap disco I have ever heard. It kept getting worse as he meandered through the song. He made feable attempts at some sort of choreography, however, he never quite convinced us that he wasn't just making it up as he went along. He wasn't just off key, he was way off key and he was lip synching !!!!! So this was the way it was recorded. There were a number of people in the audience, of course, to see such a famous porn star as well as many of the other Nob Hill dancers and everyone was having a hard time containing themselves. If it weren't for his beautiful body, I'm sure that someone would have found a tomatoe or two to through up on stage. So he did his two songs, stepped down to the first few rows in front of the stage but never really worked the crowd. At the end of his two songs (nearly 20 minutes) he waved goodbye to the crowd and left the stage. Needless to say the crowd was disappointed. I mean no one even got to see him naked.

 

Well he redeemed himself during his "nasty" autograph session. Again, for those of you who don't know the Nob Hill Theatre layout, there is a voyeur's lounge in the back and they made an announcement in the back that in 5 minutes, Jeff would be doing his "nasty" autograph signing in the voyeur's lounge. And sure enough he appeared in his black cape but without the g-string this time. He asked everyone to get in line to get an autographed picture and while he was signing his picture you got the pleasure of sucking him as deeply as you wanted. So of course the line became very long and at one point there was a suck off between two guys that he liked very well. So this was very different than what the average dancer did at the Nob Hill Theatre. He stayed out for about 40 minutes letting anyone "play".

 

So if you are interested he is performing on the 21st, 22nd, and 23rd at 8 & 11PM (better call the theatre to confirm showings). You can get their information at http://www.nobhilltheatre.com.

 

So go, ignore the awful attempt at singing and dancing and just go to the "nasty" autograph signing. You'll be glad you did. His English is not very good, but if you speak Spanish you'll be fine.

 

Reviewed first show, Friday, July 21st 8PM show.