Protocall for Telephone or Online Discussion of What I Want From The Escort.

[Guest dandday]

I need some help here. Have not had much experience in this area but would like to know how much the escorts will discuss prior to the date being arranged. Re: I was in Portland, Oregon last evening and decided to seek out the services of an escort. Believe me, the pickings were slim, but I finally found an ad in a gay publication and gave the guy a call. I tried to explain what I was looking for but after I let him know in so many words that I wanted to be bottomed, he stoped me and said we could not discuss this on the phone, but if I agreed to the cost and cab fare he would be over and I "would not be disapointed". Taking that to mean OK, I agreed.

The guy shows up at my hotel, his discription was a bit different from the ad, but I thought he was hot so all seemed fine. We talked for about 10 minutes when he suggested we get the show on the road. He striped, his cock got hard right away and I thought, I'm going to have a great time. I went to touch him and he ask for the money. Being dick drunk, I handed him the whole $350. AS AGREED.

Then he tells me he is straight, his girl friend is waiting in the car and all he will let me do is suck his cock!! I became upset and asked him why did he rip me off by agreeing that I would have a great time, when I had specified that I wanted to get bottomed, and he had no intention of doing that. We argued, but there was little I could do as I could not start a scene as my partner and I own the hotel! He must have know as he asked me about a business card he had pick up in the lobby that clearly had my name on it as CEO and President.

In the future, how do I handle this. How much am I allowed to say 1) online,or 2) over the phone about what activities I am looking for?

[Guest craigrc]

Allowed?

 

How much are you "allowed" to say? "Allowed" by whom? For the record, asking someone to perform sex acts in return for money is a crime in most jurisdictions whether done over the telephone or in person. A "legitimate" escort (i.e, one who does not intend to cheat you) may be reluctant to be too specific on the telephone for fear that the conversation is being recorded by the authorities, but the same risk (for both him and you) exists when the two of you discuss the matter in person, so being discreet on the phone doesn't really solve the problem.

 

The bottom line: If you are concerned about the law or about blackmail, never hire an escort whom you haven't seen before or who hasn't been recommended by someone you know. With an escort whom you haven't seen but who has been personally recommended, on the other hand, the more detailed your discussion beforehand the less the risk that the encounter will be disappointing. There is no way to know what an escort will or will not do for you without asking him. If you wait until the encounter to ask, you may find that both your time and money have been wasted on someone who will not do what you want.

[Guest red]

RE: Allowed?

 

Dandday, your experience is exactly the reason why I value this site so much. So far, my track record in hiring escorts who have had two or more positive reviews here, has been excellent. The guys I've hired "blind" (i.e. from AOL chat rooms) have, with two exceptions, been a very mixed bag, and not worth the money. Please write a review for the guy who ripped you off in Portland, so others don't have the same experience.

[Guest Merlin]

RE: Allowed?

 

The real problem is that this guy intentionally misled you. There is a class of escorts who promise anything until the money is paid and deliver little thereafter. When you said on the phone you wanted to bottom, the honest answer for him was "no, I dont do that". He could not be concerned about the police. No one ever went to jail for saying no. The event would not have transpired much differently if you had discussed it throughly before the money was paid. He would have lied to get the money. The only real way to protect youself from this is to refuse to pay until after the session. Most reputable escorts to not ask payment in advance, but some do. But I understand your feelings and I probably would have paid as you did and have been stung as well.

[Boston Guy]

Be more careful until you know the person

 

Oh, gosh, you have to be more careful. There are just too many stories of guys getting ripped off or worse.

 

Contrary to what many believe, I think it's very possible to find an escort on AOL or in a local rag and have a good chance of having a good time, so long as you follow a few simple rules. (I know that many here use the reviews to guide them and that's fine if it works for them; I've found the reviews to be somewhat less consistent once you get away from the top, "name" escorts and I stick with my own rules.)

 

My rules are based on my goals:

 

1. I want to have a good time. What that means on any given night might vary, but I get to define it.

 

2. I want to pay a fair price. I don't want to get ripped off.

 

3. I don't want to be placed in any kind of compromising position, including legal jeopardy.

 

4. If the escort is someone I haven't met before, I would like establish a relationship that would allow me to be happy about calling him again in the future.

 

In your situation, as you describe it, you didn't achieve any of these goals: (1) you didn't have a good time, or at least not the good time you wanted to; (2) you felt ripped off; (3) you felt in jeopardy and exposed because he had your business card; and (4) you'll never call this guy again. So it's pretty much a zero as a good time.

 

My rules for myself:

 

1. I try to call escorts I already know. If that's not possible, I call guys who are "established" in one way or another -- either I've seen them online on AOL frequently enough or seen their ad in a newspaper enough or whatever. If I'm talking to someone who doesn't seem "established" in my mind, I immediately become much more careful.

 

2. I always try to establish ahead of time exactly what I'm looking for. If the escort is uncomfortable discussing this, then I take it as a very large warning. In this event, I tell them "OK, you can come to my hotel but the first thing we will do is establish what I am looking for. If you can agree to that, then fine. Otherwise you will have to leave and I will not pay you." I have found this weeds out the con artists.

 

3. I always establish the price ahead of time. And I never, ever, ever pay beforehand. I usually have the money visible, but he's not taking it until we're done. If I'm setting up an appointment with someone I haven't seen before, I let them know before they come over that I will not, under any circumstances whatsoever, pay beforehand. If he has a problem with that, then I don't see him. It's my opinion that most guys who get ripped off do so because they pay the escort up front. This goes for regular escorts, guys who pay Gaiety dancers up front, whoever. Don't pay up front.

 

4. Don't use your real name until you are sure you can trust someone. That is generally going to be after the first meeting at least and possibly after a few meetings. Since I generally hire escorts on the road, I don't have to worry about bringing someone I don't know to my home. I would be very, very, very careful about having an escort I don't know and who doesn't have a good reputation come to my house. I'd seriously think about a hotel room instead.

 

5. Don't share details about your life that could be a problem until you know the guys. This includes job, wife, kids, home, trust fund, etc. If you are in a hotel, the hotel isn't going to share details about you with anyone who comes in and asks about "the guy in room 304". So you can just be "Mike" for the occasion.

 

6. If he arrives and he either doesn't look like his pictures (always try to get a pic first) or has misrepresented himself or he is unclean and you don't want to go ahead, tell him "I'm sorry, but you (sent me an old pic and you don't look like that anymore)(are now fat and old)(smell like a barnyard) and I'm not going to go ahead with this. I'm sorry you wasted your time, but had you been honest with me, we wouldn't have wasted your time or mine." Then send him on his way -- without cab fare or any consideration at all. If he lies about his looks or doesn't care enough to be clean, he's not going to get any better if you go through with it.

 

7. Once he has arrived, looking like what you expect and smelling clean, I go over very briefly with him again what I want (unless it's someone I know, in which case it's probably unnecessary). If he says "Oh, no, I don't do that" then I again send him on his way.

 

8. If he arrives looking like I expected, is clean, agrees to what I am seeking, then we go ahead. And he gets paid the full amount. If he's not terrific or wonderful, that doesn't affect my paying him. If he refused to go ahead with whatever we agreed to when he arrived, that would be different. But I haven't ever had someone show up who knew that he wasn't getting paid until we were done (but also knew I had the cash ready to give him), knew I was sticking to my guns because we've already agreed to what we were going to do, who didn't then make a good attempt at following through.

 

I know this probably sounds like a lot of rules. But it really boils down to knowing what you want, insisting on the escort being truthful and following through on what he says he will do.

 

I have hired escorts who wouldn't agree to do something I might want (for example, I've hired escorts who won't kiss, even though I generally like to kiss). But if they've said up front that they won't and I still decide to go ahead, then I don't hold it against them. The idea is that we both make clear what we want. And, if we both try to follow through, he gets paid. If it wasn't great or at least pretty good, I won't hire him again. But I would certainly always pay if he follows through on his end -- and that does not mean that he wasn't the greatest performer. If he tries to please me, he gets paid.

[Bilbo]

RE: Be more careful until you know the person

 

I would strongly suggest that you get your partner's permission to hire escorts. (I'm assuming that this is a romantic liaison as well as business.) You owe it to him as part of your social contract with him. But you also owe it to your escorts. Many escorts do no want to work for people who are in closed relationships for one of at least two reasons. 1.) It might interfere with their own interpretation of the commandment (#6?) against adultery, or whatever religion they follow. 2.) It eliminates the fears of hurting someone they don't know for no reason and of having said person out for revenge (which could be a simple as sicking the police on them). If you have that permission and you own the damn hotel, make whatever scenes you want, darling. If someone is stupid enough to complain, can his/her ass. (If it's a guest, how are they to know its you?) You could consider that firing to be policing your staff's level of confidentiality over guest affairs and as a political blow (so to speak) for you and all of us to do have the right to do something you personally don't see anything wrong with, or you wouldn't be doing it yourself, now, would you?

[Guest dandday]

RE: Be more careful until you know the person

 

Thanks for the great check-list, Boston Guy. I will defently follow these guidelines, IF I ever decide to use an escort again. A friend of mine told me to forget escorts as they are usually losers, and do as he did when he found himself in my shoes: find a nice guy on the side that you have something in common with and like, set him up in an apartment and put him on the payroll as your executive assistant. He gets to travel with you and you can shower him with gifts, plus you can write it off. I'd always wondered about his executive assistant, now I know. This is looking better to every day. This same friend once told me that he had great sex in his life, so good that at times he almost passed out, but even that was only worth $37.50!

 

Bilbo, thanks for your input, and yes I do have my partners permission (sort of, "just don't let me hear about it or bring it home"). Most of our employees at our hotels are hand picked by the two of us. We are all a very close "family" and by all accounts my partner and I have the "ultimate happy marriage". They do not know about the sex issues we have been going thru (see the topic under deli "Does escorting cause one to lose...."), and I do not need a scene with an escort in my lobby or elswhere. I had to use my real name as after 11PM you must enter thru the front door and security may ask if you are a guest etc. This is not a place where just anyone can walk in or out without being noticed or questioned. It is small and upscale so almost all guests are known to the staff. Ironicly, I felt more secure knowing this looser would have to stop by the desk and ask for my suite.