Does Escorting Cause One To Loose Interest In Sex?

[Guest dandday]

Five years ago I met a 33 year old escort who had been in the business since he was 18. To make a long story short, we spent the night and next day together and he moved in with me and gave up the business the next day. We've had a wonderful life together and are still very much in love. So why am I here at this site?

Well, the sex was great and often (at least once a day)untill about two years ago. It started droping off and became more and more infrequent. Now it is down to twice a month or so. We talked about it and he said it has always been work to him and he has no real interest. He loves me with all his heart, but he is just tired of sex. (I told him I was a sexual creature and I needed sex. He said fine, just dont get involved or bring it home (which explains what I'm doing here).

Just for the record, we own a business together and work and live together. Most days we are together 24 hours a day. So, as hard as it is for me to get away to play, I know there is not anyone on the side that he is sneeking off to meet. He is just not having sex. One more thing, I am an expert at what I do in bed, to the point of having a couple of escorts drop their price in half because they felt guilty for getting paid for getting the best head they ever had. (I went ahead and paid full price anyway).

Do any of you out there agree that escorting can cause you to loose interest in sex, or have similar stories? Thanks.

[Guest justin]

RE: Does Escorting Cause One To Lose Interest In Sex?

 

it's probably more likely that after 5 years of sex with the same person. its just not as exciting as it used to be. this happens to the majority of people in long term relationships...they just cant admit it to each other. i worry when i quit about how easy it would be to be monagamous, but i would guess my sex drive after escorting would INCREASE due to the fact i will be experiencing sex on a less regular basis. you say the escort moved in with you after meeting you ONCE......is it possible that you may need to evaluate what this relationship was based on in the first place??

[Guest dandday]

RE: Does Escorting Cause One To Lose Interest In Sex?

 

No, Justin, the relationship was and is built on solid ground: love, mutual respect, and attraction. We met (not as an escort/client) but in other circumstances. Everything "clicked" we spent the evening, night, and next day together, then he went home, came back to see me the next afternoon and never left. I know all of his family and we have all grown very close, as well as the same with my family. He was and is crazy about me. He left the business and never looked back. He works very hard in our business, me,our home and dogs mean everything to him. It is such a good relationship, that even if we never had sex again, the relationship would not end. So, thats not it.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

LAST EDITED ON Jul-13-00 AT 01:20PM (EST)[p]LAST EDITED ON Jul-13-00 AT 12:39 PM (EST)

 

I think Justin raises a very plausible possibility --

 

<< it's probably more likely that after 5 years of sex with the same person. its just not as exciting as it used to be >>

 

-- even in a deeply committed relationship.

 

There also might be an underlying health problem, physical or mental. There are subtle conditions that effect libido and performance. Has your partner had a physical lately. If it were me I’d certainly have blood sugar and testosterone level tests. Some drugs also have an effect, e.g.. hypertension medications. Also, are you familiar with the signs of clincial depression? This can come out of nowhere, apparently, and seems to be epidemic in our modern society. Immersing oneself in work sometimes is a coping mechanism.

 

I’m no doctor, my credentials are as a patient, but you might want to discuss with your partner these possibilities. There might be a more urgent problem lurking below the surface. Good luck, hope things work out well.

[Guest Croix]

If he quit escorting when you got together 5 years ago, and the sex between you was good and often for 3 years, it is hard to imagine how he suddenly linked sex to "work" as being a cause for diminishment of sexual activity over the last 2 years. There is something else going on here. It may not be anything more than the ongoing chore keeping life exciting. Increasing experience and enjoyment of life, individually and as a couple, usually brings an increased interest in and enjoyment of sex as well.

[Guest dandday]

Thanks for the input guys. You have all raised some interesting possibilities. He has had a checkup and all is well. We have been expanding our business and both of us have been putting in long hours as late as well as much travel away from home (together) for the last year. I know he hates this and cant wait untill we do not have to travel so much.

[Matt_Vancouver]

I can only speak for myself, escorting has not diminished my sex drive nor my enjoyment, but it has changed my sex life immensly. I notice that on the rare occasion( far to rare: ) when I do have extra curricular sex, my attention is very focused on my partner, with little regard to my own enjoyment. I think that comes from my escorting work, and I also find that when I meet a guy (non client) I'm more looking for a cuddle buddy rather than a sex partner, which isn't always what they are looking for.

Now don't get me wrong, I still enjoy sex immensly, but it is more focussed on the other persons enjoyment rather than my own.

my two cents

matt

[Rod Hagen]

"Boy in The Sand" is the biography of the best modern sex-for-hire professional: Cal Culver. Often times Cal would head to the baths in the late evening after having sex with several clients. Quite a sex addict. Boy can I relate. I hook up for fun-sex on aol all the time. And I will make no comments on sex-clubs or bathhouses on this forum as it may incriminate me (DOH!). How I interact with my casual sex partners is no different than how I interact with clients; mutual heat all the way around. Sex "on the clock" has not, as of yet, diminished my lust.

 

My boyfriend preferes cuddling to intercourse. Our relationship has always been more about our hearts than our loins. This suits me fine. In my experience relationships built largely on sex fall apart faster. However many men need at least "some" sex, especially if they are not getting at home, and that's why I am here. Indulging a horny impulse to sleep with a stranger or friend need not diminish one's feeling for the love of his life. It just feels good. The sooner couples really process that, the sooner they can move to a new and exciting stage of their relationship.

 

And in this thread I want to repeat something I stated earlier on this MC: having a relationship while being an esocrt is NOT difficult. Escorts do not avoid looking for that one man just because you are a sex worker. Scenario: if the phone (which I stupidly forgot to unplug) rings at 3am while I am sleeping with or fucking my partner do I rudely take the call and then possibly disappear for an hour or more OR do I let the answering machine take it, apologize to my BF for the interruption, return the call in the late morning and schedule a meeting with the client for a later date? Best to not hurt my boyfriends feelings than make a quick buck. You can make a reltionship work, just remember to make it the priority. If my boyfriend and I have plans to go out to eat and see a movie, that is time that is not open to appointments. If we are watching TV together, I do not take calls, I return them when I will be more centered on the conversation and therefore the client. HE is the priority, not quick (f)bucks. -Hagen

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

Seems as though your boyfriend has found a great (and sensitive) partner -- lucky guy!

[Bilbo]

When I was escorting, it worked for me a whole lot like Matt, as usual a very wise young man, describes it.

I find now (as a masseur we face many of the same phone problems as escorts) I usually have to enforce timeouts from the phone. My friends and my lover sometimes seem more convinced than I that if I miss even one chance to make money I will run completely out of money and starve to death in a garret, weakly humming tunes from Rent or something. Of course, my Cub is German.

[Rick Munroe]

Escorting has only made me more horny in general, and opening my formerly monogamous, long-term relationship (& becoming escorts) gave our sex life a great boost. As much as we are attracted to each other, variety was definitely lacking & we have that now. We have more sex with each other now that we have more sex with other guys.

 

Of course, it doesn't hurt that my desire for "straight" married guys keeps getting satisfied!

[Guest dandday]

From what I'm hearing from Matt and others, it would seem to me that escorting DOES affect, maybe not the sex drive, but our preferences in what we do when sex is not in an excort situation. We have never had a problem with loving, holding, and carressing each other. I lay in my partners arms ever night untill I am just about asleep. We hold onto and cling to each other every night, even now. Maybe, I misworded the situation. It is the act of sucking and fucking that he has seemed to have lostinterest in. Cuddling, playing, and carressing are still there. And I love it, I JUST NEED SOME DICK MORE OFTEN.

[Guest Jake]

Well, that's where Rick comes in handy!