What Do I do with This situation?

[Guest Billyboy]

Guys, I need your help and opinions. Quite a while ago, a first time client of mine made an appointment for an overnight. I eventually talked to him on the phone as I do with all my new clients before I meet them. He gave me a number and specifically asked me to only call him during a specific time frame on a specific date. He said discretion was of the utmost importance. So I called him on that date, and time, and then purposely "lost" the number so I wouldn't accidentally call it again.

 

Two weeks before the appointment is to take place I find out that I have an important family emergency that I need to attend to in Minneapolis that overlaps the dates of his appointment. No sooner do I get on the old computer to email him, than I get a message from him saying he is "taking his email address offline". I immediately send the email informing him of my need to cancel our appointment (which is to occur two weeks later). Days later the email does not get bounced back to me, so I assume he got it.

 

Then I return to my cell phone today, after being with a client (now the appointment was to occur one week from today). There is a message from this client telling me that "He is just trying out my number and is looking forward to our appointment next week". He Does not leave a number where I can reach him. Immediately, I pull out the laptop and email him. The email gets bounced back this time.

 

The guy is travelling a couple hours to see me. What the heck do I do? There is no possible way I can avoid being in Minneapolis the day he has the appointment scheduled in Chicago. As I stated before, it is a pressing family event that is causing me to cancel, and there is no way I can in good conscience avoid it. It involves a relative that is very ill.

 

What do I do? Suggestions?

[Guest brianrj]

Kinda tough without a phone number or email address. One possibility - though it is a longshot - he may actually check your web page between now and then. Maybe a very large front page notice that you have an emergency and had to cancel appointments from MM/DD/YY to MM/DD/YY?

 

You could also post to any message boards you know of - a longshot too. Good luck - wish you were coming to Minneapolis under better circumstances.

[Guest RO]

Having his number really wouldn't matter because of your previous promise to only use it at that previously arranged time. Of course there are ways to try and reach him and the email thing seems extreme; however, you're bound to the discretion obligation NO MATTER WHAT, especially since he's already made such a big deal out of it. Wouldn't want to create two problems . . .

 

I'd bet you hear from him again before the date. You may have to answer your phone in mid-stroke, so just try to keep the rhythm, Baby. You'll for sure hear from him when he can't find you on the day of your appointment. Maybe offer a concilation prize if the situation seems to be taking a positive route. Otherwise, chalk it up to experience. Worse things have happened.

 

You have nothing to worry about as long as you have genuine motives.

 

Just suggestions ...

 

Good luck.

[Guest lovemblond]

You certainly can't miss a family emergency. I guess the only thing you can do is hope he calls or emails (with a valid return address) again to confirm before the day. I always contact an escort the day before or day of for a final confirmation. I understand a lot can happen in a week.

 

Keep your phone on and if you actually don't talk to him before the appointment is scheduled, leave a thorough explanation and apology at the hotel for him to get upon check-in.

[Guest Shooter]

If the guy's coming that far, he's sure to call before he leaves. (Heck, I call before I go over and it's only 15 minutes. But, then again, when I was scheduled for my first time, he had a bout with kidney stones and I couldn't get ahold of him so I'm 'cautious' when it comes to confirmation. Okay, Brian, paranoid.) Anyway, I digress. Assuming you will not be taking appointments while dealing with family stuff, alter your voice mail message to reflect the situation. That way, even if you don't talk to him, there's a better chance he gets the message.

[Guest Shooter]

By the way...

 

...I sent four today!

[Boston Guy]

Anyone who sets up an appointment with anybody -- a colleague, a friend, an escort, a long-lost relative, anyone at all -- and then does not provide that person with a way to reach them is just asking for trouble.

 

Perhaps this would be understandable if the appointment was going to happen in 10 minutes or 1 hour. But when the appointment is set for some days or weeks in the future, each party must have some way to contact the other in the event of the normal day-to-day emergencies that can befall any of us.

 

This person is being way too controlling for my book: he gives you a phone number but says you may only call during a specific time on a specific date; he gives you an email address and then cancels it.

 

Either he is a flake or he is so far in the closet and so paranoid that he has allowed his paranoia to overcome his good judgment. He seems to have forgotten that appointments involve two people and each has to respect the other.

 

I've had escorts not show up from time to time and it's infuriating when someone acts irresponsibly. But this guy is giving you no recourse at all. The suggestions listed above are good ones, but unless he provides some way for you to contact him, I would suggest that you are relieved of many of the normal responsibilities that otherwise fall on your shoulders as a result of cancelling an appointment.

 

Take care of your family. They come first.

[NY Observer]

As always, Boston Guy has the perfect response. I agree entirely. If your client doesn't want you to call him, he should make sure to get in touch with you before just showing up.

[Guest Skeptic]

What Some of You Have Been Waiting For

 

In the message-board equivalent of biting my tongue, I've been deliberately gliding past this provocatively titled thread since it appeared.

 

But now that Billy's most faithful admirers have weighed in with enough good advice to fill up Aaron's column until Labor Day--and because the board is still so strangely quiet--allow me to ask: did anyone else bedsides curmudgeonly old me detect a certain air of irreality about this vexing 'problem'?

 

Doesn't it remind you of 'A Clarification' as a example of 'baroque worrying'? (How 'bout it, Billy's Ex?)

 

Don't the details & complications provided seem as contrived & convenient as the plotting of a routine melodrama? (EVERYTHING covered--and before you start wondering. . .)

 

Couldn't Billy, with his well-known tendancy to brood on things (not to mention his unerring professionalism and exquisite sense of scruples), have come up with such sensible (and obvious) solutions to his 'problem' all by himself (and his mirror) without going public with it?

 

Couldn't Aaron (in a private communique please!) have quickly handled the whole thing in his crispest Eve Arden manner?

 

The answer is NO to all of the above?

 

Oh, good, then I don't have to start another free-for-all here!

[Guest Polly]

RE: What Some of You Have Been Waiting For

 

Oh, Skeppy, chill out, won't you (or take your Ritalin!)! That Billyboy's so CUTE!!!!!

 

Hugs and kisses (with a Hooboy heart to dot the 'i'),

 

Polly :-)

[Guest brianrj]

RE: Too Funny Skeptic

 

Polly how did you get by the NannyGard? I see Dr. Lecter over at the Menninger clinic still hasn't managed to finish the job yet. Oh well a little sweetness and light couldn't hurt! ;-)

[Barry]

RE: What Some of You Have Been Waiting For

 

Skeptic,

 

I am afraid I am not at liberty to comment publicly on this subject.

 

- I can neither confirm nor deny the facts as stated in the post. I have no knowledge of the facts.

- I can neither confirm nor deny your interpretation of the post.

- I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of BillyBoy.

- I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of HooBoy.

- I can neither confirm nor deny my own existence.

- I can neither confirm nor deny that I am writing the chapter "Married to an Escort" in HB's soon to be released book (or maybe it's a docu-drama).

 

I can however, confirm that I am working with a stunt double for the fight scenes on a future Jerry Springer show coming to a syndicated channel in your area soon.

 

:-) Barry

[Donnie]

EMERGENCY

 

What kind of "family medical emergency" is planned 2 weeks in advance? I can just hear the phone call: "Billy, dear, this is Grandma. Listen, doll, I'm planning on having a stroke on April 14th. Be a dear & don't tell Mama. I want you & you alone to come tend to me in Minneapolis & to cancel all escort work on that day."

 

EMERGENCY is defined in Webster's as "an unforseen combination of circumstances or the resulting state that calls for immediate action."

[Paul Revere]

RE: EMERGENCY

 

Jeez Donnie, you are a real sensitive guy!

 

Maybe someone in the family has major surgery scheduled, and the family memebers want to be present for support. Maybe a family memeber is nearing the end, and the family wants to gather together for them one final time.

 

Billyboy, take care of your family responsibilities, and don't listen to Donnie. He obviously doesn't have any close family members or friends that he would offer support to.

[Guest Billyboy]

Thanks to most for the wonderful suggestions. The situation is resolved. I was hoping that by posting something, the guy would see it and get in touch with me. He did.

 

I'm sorry that some saw it as a publicity stunt. I wanted a client's perspective on the proper handling of the situation. I'll be quiet now since posting here is obviously taken by some as flagrant advertising, no matter how grim the circumstances.

[Guest REGINA]

LAST EDITED ON Apr-08-00 AT 06:31PM (CST)[p]LAST EDITED ON Apr-08-00 AT 06:03 PM (CST)

 

BillyBoy,

 

I've never met you and as you're a bottom too, chances are we would never meet under an escort/client relationship, but you seem cool and look great so I thought I would write you a quick note to say "Fuck 'em."

 

People think you charge too much?

"Fuck 'em"

People think you're not for real?

"Fuck 'em"

People think you're out for free advertising?

"Fuck 'em"

People think you're best friends with HooBoy?

"Fuck 'em"

People think you are HooBoy?

"Fuck 'em"

 

I think you've been crucified much too often and I, for one, am just sick and tired of hearing about it. Like Judy Garland used to say to warm up for a concert:

 

"FUCK 'EM, FUCK 'EM, FUCK 'EM".

 

As an aside, however, I would suggest that in the future you keep some sort of log or notice hidden away of your travels and contact information of who you're seeing. A friend of mine who escorts had a VERY unpleasant experience with a client who was out of control. It was all he could do to get out there, and had something gone amiss, no one would have known where to look or who to look under. I understand the need to keep a client's identity confidential, but it's always something you could destroy AFTER the appointment.

 

Like Mae West used to say "Keep a diary because some day it may keep you!"

 

Love and kisses on all your openings! :*

[Guest Billyboy]

Every escort has a friend who knows their wherabouts at all times. For safety.

[Guest Sicilian]

Billyboy,

 

I'm glad to read that things were resolved.

 

I hope your family situation improves as well!

 

 

http://changedesign.com/sicilian/

[Guest bottomboykk]

Billy,

 

Please don't "be quiet now". You are very welcome here. I echo Regina's comments: FUCK 'EM!

 

Don't let assholes like Skeptic determine who can participate in these forums.

[Guest Skeptic]

How odd to be called an asshole by someone who glories in being a bottom! Perhaps it's meant as a compliment. . .

 

Taking it as such, and with many thanks, let me clarify the issue for you, Bottomboykk. I care not at all who posts here and who doesn't, and would never presume to hush up poor Billboy--who seems to me already far too meek and mild for a career in the chancy world of prostitution. The only thing I'd like silenced around here are bogus and/or self-serving posts.

 

And once again, Billy shows every sign of having confected just such another tale of woe--or, to give him the benefit of the doubt, blown up a possibly real but easily managed problem into something resembling an international crisis--and with the same objective as his earlier and equally tremulous disclosure, that thread called 'A Clarification.' The real message in both is: Behold me--sensitive, caring, COMPASSIONATE! (Book early & avoid the rush--if not a family emergency.)

 

No amount of you-go-girl support from Regina (whose own histrionic style is beginning to make Hooboy look a trifle sedate) or witless comment from you, or the communal clucking of the resident mother hens, can add one iota of credibility to Billyboy's handwringing. (Indeed, as the perceptive Donnie has pointed out, the plotting wasn't quite as well-crafted as I'd claimed it was.)

 

My objection is not to Billy's posting per se but to the patent hokiness of what he chooses to post. And until you address THAT issue, you're just making irrelevant noise, as meaningless as the grade-school insults and flailing of arms (protective and assaultive) that seem to be the only 'content' of your posts.

[Guest Shooter]

In my own mindless, chortling way...

 

...look who the fucks talkin' about 'meaningless content of posts' you flake! (Sorry, guys, couldn't resist!)

[Guest brianrj]

Skeppy,

 

You were doing so good with your therapy. But I guess you miss a day of medication and things can slide back pretty fast.

 

You said "The only thing I'd like silenced around here are bogus and/or self-serving posts."

 

I'm surprised Skeptic that you could have pondered this particular post and still didn't come to the conclusion that there is no way to get a group consensus as to whether it is bogus and/or self serving. (As has already been shown by the varied responses to Billy's original post.) If that is the case, then why do you think you should be considered the arbiter of what is bogus or self serving. (And if you do think that - isn't your post just as self serving?)

 

"Behold me--sensitive, caring, COMPASSIONATE!"

 

Actually, Skeppy, I have been with Billy, exchanged email with him and even chatted with him in the chat room. You've really done a good job of describing him. And you are correct "Book early & avoid the rush." (Are you sure you're not secretly trying to help Billy??)

 

"meaningless as the grade-school insults"

 

An interesting statement considering the bulk of your post appears intent on insulting Bottomboykk, Regina, and BillyBoy. Granted I don't remember using the word histrionic or trifle in grade school (probably would have gotten beat up) but the overall goal of putting down the party who has challenged you is still the same.

 

"Indeed, as the perceptive Donnie has pointed out, the plotting wasn't quite as well-crafted as I'd claimed it was."

 

Well, actually, I think Paul Revere gave some very believable scenarios - so I guess it is just what you want to believe.

 

Anyway Skeppy - I'm quite disappointed, you were playing so nice there for a few days. Now take your medication or I'm going to tell the nurse to get out that can of WhoopAss she keeps behind the counter!

 

Clucking Cock, (sorry no hen here!)

brianrj

[HooBoy]

As much as I detest resonding to any of your posts, Sceptic, I know exactly what is happening with this event with Billy and advised him to post it here because I had no idea how to handle it.

 

I was very pleased with the majority of the responses, which showed me that most people here are compassionate, intellegent people who offered solid advice.

 

And the problem has been resolved. Thus, it turned out good for all involved.

 

You, being the contrary indicator, have shown your colors again. What I'd like to know is which stocks you like, so I can short them.

 

HooBoy

[Guest Skeptic]

Three fairly predictable responses, although the normally thoughtful Brian is a bit disappointing in his.

 

Shooter doesn't really require an answer, of course: apart from his signature chortling (braying, really), his post IS meaningless static because he won't/can't deal with the issue raised here. In his case, this is nothing new.

 

Brian does deal with it (somewhat), but his opinion is undermined by a wrong-headed premise and some oddly distorted logic.

 

First of all, I didn't make my original posting to gather a consensus about the true meaning of Billyboy's post. In asking who agreed with my skeptical point-by-point response to it, and then anticipating that the consensus would be 'no to all of the above,' I was ironically admitting the inevitable--that clucking & coddling would again prove louder than common sense as Billyphiles gathered protectively around their boy. However, that shouldn't (and didn't) keep me from voicing my suspicions.

 

Remember, Brian, I said last week that whenever I thought a post was bogus, etc. I would speak up. THAT was the promise, not, as you (rather amazingly) imply, that I was going to mend my ways so as not to offend those incapable of debating an issue. I certainly don't post to gather a consensus on anything, but to take a stand you can agree with or not. That's what a forum is, isn't it?

 

Moreover, I don't 'play' at being 'nice' (or even nasty, for that matter.) If I seemed 'nice' to you in recent posts, it's because I was dealing with real issues posted by people who were doing the same. (Which, BTW, is why I could respond positively to you amid all the schrapnel of 'Billyboy Again!') And you'll continue to find that I'm as 'nice' as anybody here--including Billy himself--as long as the discourse stays genuine & information-based (as in the Gaiety thread) as opposed to bogus, histrionic, and finally mercantile. And mind you, I am not setting myself up as the arbiter or what is or isn't bogus any more than you are. I'm stating MY opinion. Anyone can disagree, but they have to provide reasons, not mindless anger or playground name-calling.

 

Finally, Brian, as regards 'insults,' I hope you can distinguish between reasoned scorn and the sort of 'asshole!' 'flake' shrieks offered by my otherwise inarticulate opponents.

 

With regard to Donnie/Paul R, I found that the latter's answer to the the former was just a predictable stretch on Billyboy's behalf with its own built-in protection against further attack. Let us be frank here: 'family emergency' places the one invoking it on hallowed ground, and as shown by Billyboy's advisor, Hooboy, immunizes against all criticism, even the most temperate. As I said in an earlier (but similar) context, I ain't going THERE.

 

Lost in all this is Barry's amusing post. (He is, in case others don't know it, Billyboy's ex.) Apparently some post-nuptial agreement has sealed his lips against any further debunking of Billy's touching pieties. (Or maybe he's been silenced somehow by Big Sis Hooboy over at the Ministry of Truth. Although 'issues of privacy are sacred' to H, one can't be too careful around someone who once asked a hostile visitor if his superiors in the military knew what he was up to on this site.) Anyway, Barry wittily managed to inform us that he 'could a tale unfold' about his ex, and maybe one day will--though probably not here.

 

Finally to our webmaster. Hooboy, I don't have any investment holdings at all, and I don't know what 'shorting' someone's stocks might mean. (Sounds kinky, though.) However, I'm glad you have such resources yourself. And is there any way you could cash in on some of it right now and retire that tin cup you've been holding out lately? Just a thought. . .

[Boston Guy]

In an unusual sort of way, I think I agree with you, Skeptic.

 

You are pretty consistent in your approach to posting here and I usually find what you have to say quite interesting. I think you do approach things logically and, over time, consistently, too -- especially in your desire to expose false postings. And that does seems to me to be one reasonable way of approaching posting on a board like this -- not that you are or should be seeking my approval.

 

You have a logical framework from which you are operating and you are consistent with it and with your beliefs. From a personal point of view, I find that a little hard to criticize; my one point might be that I think that, at times, you do run a little roughshod unnecessarily over the feelings of other people and that should usually only be done for good reason.

 

However, having said that, I think the logical framework that I work from is quite different in some cases from yours. Once case is point regards Billy. I've never met the guy or talked to him or emailed him or had any contact at all other than through this board. So I have no personal knowledge of him other that what we all share.

 

But he seems to me to be a pretty bright guy who is doing what he wants, who seems happy with his life and his job. And he must be doing something right because he has a lot of happy customers in a business where people can sometimes be very hard to please. So I think he's probably an ok guy and, because of that, I take what he posts here on face value.

 

Like the escorts who participate here, he does use the board for purposes of advertising and marketing. But that doesn't bother me in the least and, in fact, I think it's generally good because it's often in the context of providing some new information.

 

So you're operating from one context (distrust) with him while I'm coming from another (trust). I'm sure either of us could be pushed out of our context on either a temporary or permanent basis by new information.

 

But this thread seemed pretty undemanding. I'm not sure I would have posted it for the world to see, although it did end up bringing up a couple of interesting points and, if it was on the up-and-up, did solve the problem for Billy and his client.

 

Since I don't have evidence to the contrary and because I think Billy's okay, I'm going to take it at face value and believe what he posted. You and I are being true to our contexts, as are most of the others. I think we can agree to disagree.