Escort Question

[Guest DW]

I'm not sure what to do here, I've asked several friends, and they don't

know either, so I thought I'd ask the escorts here for an opinion.

 

I've seen one particular escort several times now. Each time, I grow more

and more to respect and admire him as a friend...he's actually helped me out

with a few things that go above and beyond escort duties. As far as clients

go, I think he enjoys my company as well. My problem is...

 

I now feel awkward requesting his "services". Don't get me wrong, he's as

sexy as ever, but he's straight, and I don't want him to be with me if he's

really not enjoying it at all...just being polite for the money. I definitly

don't want him to think of me as a pathetic old loser that has to pay for

sex (although he's never even hinted at that). I'm only 15 years older than

him, and not bad looking, but still...I AM paying for sex.

 

On the other hand, I enjoy his company, and would like to keep seeing him in

some capacity. As an escort, I doubt he has much time for non-paying

clients. Our last "date", I made up some excuse that my schedule got screwed

up, we talked a little, I payed him, and I left. This is not a healthy

solution for the future either.

 

I am not falling in love; I just like being with him.

[Guest Sean]

DW this sounds to me like you are interested in this Escort for more than you are letting on. As an Escort who has had many clients fall for me I feel as if I can give you a bit of advise on this topic. First off baby if he's sleeping with you regardless if its for money or not HE AINT STR8! Second he's an Escort and as you claim he's str8 so therefore doesn't sound as if he's interested in you for a more personal relationship. He's in it for the money and if he's Brazilian HE'S REALLY IN IT FOR THE MONEY! When a client crosses the line of Client/Escort/Friend and wants more from the relationship than whats being offered there begins a problem. Your feelings may get hurt when the Escort says he no longer wants to see you. I've been there done that and its an awful situation. Whenever one of my clients crossses that line its bye, so long, nice knowing you. Hope you work it all out! But my advise is move on to the next piece of eye candy. It may cost you less

[Guest Skydiver]

Well here goes!! Actualy the first time I hired an escort a straing thing happened we conected so well it was desided that we would become friends verses client customer. The seconed time we got to gether we met out of town overnight He is in Boston we met in NYC I had business their I live else were far away. Are relationship continued as friends and got stronger. I help him when I can with gifts and dollers as well but not at the same level as client customer. In fact he had a financgial crises recently I offered to help he decliend my offer being we are friends and he knows I am not a money machine. So I think you need to have a heart to heart with your friend and

see if he will be friends with you on a differant level for the occasional favor. If not then you are just living in a pertend dream world. Each day I think about my friend and have to pinch my self to believe it has worked out so well and it was not planned in fact he sugested the friendship idear. I hope this helps a little. Remember though there are alot of game playes out there so test the waters first do not just jump in. Some are most convincing.

[Guest DW]

I agree with what you said, except if I've "fallen" for him, why don't I want to have sex with him? I feel like I'm having sex with my younger/older brother (not into it). And he's the one that's said we're more friends now than just escort/client. He's not Brazillian. Maybe my money for just hanging ut with him is why he's putting on the freindship act, which is basically my question. Maybe if the money stops, I'll know then.

[Guest DW]

We've had a heart-to heart...we are friends, according to him...I guess I'll see how good a friend he is when the $ stops (the sex has already stopped). I don't think he's "playing" me, but I wonder how much time he'll have to just "hang out" if he's not being paid. I guess I'll see.

[Guest ManhattanMan]

DW,

The same thing happenned to me about six months ago with a fellow who advertises in Next. After three or four dates the more I began to enjoy his company the less comfortable I felt paying for sex even tho he's very sexy. (he felt the same way, I found) We decided to be friends and it's worked out great. I help him with his banking issues (he has no checking) and loan him my car fm time to time and he helps me with household projects and at the gym or we just hang out. It's worked out great! I write all this to give you some optimism. Friends are important. Good Luck!

[Guest jay]

Hey DW … I was waiting for someone to raise this topic. I wanted to, but just did not know how well I could order my thoughts into some understandable discussion.

 

Intellectually, I feel that this type of arrangement, be it friendship or relationship, is doomed. I, much like yourself, was in a similar situation except I had the wherewithall to keep my spending in check and make some sensible decisions about proceeding further. The questions I asked myself were, why is he doing this type of work (I.E., enjoys it, financial troubles, etc.), will it continue and how do you deal with all of the moral issues, keeping in mind your initial purpose in meeting.

 

I guess a lot of this is self-imposed stigma but in reality, this is what governs many of us, good or bad, and you have to consider mental status as time goes on and your friendship/relationship continues.

 

A great question here ... "is this any way to start a friendship/relationship?"

 

One thing that would keep me from pursuing our contact beyond anything but an encounter is the fact that emotionally, the escort holds the cards. He usually sees many clients all having some sort of emotional attachment, in most cases, well beyond what the escort is capable or even interested in sharing.

 

Honestly, I have not had that much experience meeting escorts (a grand total of two) but have given this a lot of thought. I understand for some guys hooking up this way it provides them a sexual outlet and they are really not interested in going any further. I have a feeling that this type client is more so the exception than the rule but would love to hear other opinions on this statistic.

 

Hearing from more escorts on this subject … well, actually both sides would make for some interesting reading and perhaps cause me to think in ways I haven't really considered.

 

On the lighter side, these arrangements could develop into one of those "90-day, money-back guarantees;" if you like each other you get to keep each other. Except I think the "money back" part would be pushing it a little. :o)

[Guest DW]

Thanks, MM. My escort situation s a lot like yours...oddly enough, he teaches me about stocks/investing, and I help him relax enjoy being at ease by being himself. Kind of bass-ackwards, huh?

[Guest DW]

Thanks, Jay. Only, I have no moral issue here...he's an escort, I work for a back-stabbing corporation. Which is worse?

[Guest jay]

Great analogy! I guess if I can view it in that context, it would be judged as a moral good!

 

LOL thanks

[Guest Skydiver]

Question? Am I foolish to think that by going with college students that my my financhial support is a good cause. And with college escorts there may be a chance of a more stimulating time mentaly as well as physicaly with out as much chance of being taken advantage of. I feel that with college students at least you are truely helping them out being they will eventualy graduate and go on with a career other then escorting being in college costs so much as well as the related expences. And maybe there is more of a chance for a friendship to happen. That eventualy if you conect with the right one you can do favors both financhial and gifts on occasion with out it being a client thing more like a friend helping. I am also not trying to be a suger daddy. Bur I gues thats what it is darn!!:)HEHE I guess there is no differance between that and hiring a escort finaly.

[Guest Skydiver]

Paul Revere / Feb-12/ "RE: Emotional Involvement With Escorts"

 

Paul Revere

Feb-12-00, 05:46 PM (CST)

2. "RE: Emotional Involvement With Escorts"

This is a tough question, and one to be very careful with. You hve to remember, that regardless oh how nice an escort is, it is still a

business. They will be nicer to you the more you provide them with income. It is certainly possible to become freinds with an escort

over time, but the freind thing and the business thing are two different things, and they need to kept separate.

 

It sounds like you are desparately looking for someone to rescue you from your life sitution, and a charming goodlooking young man

would be the perfect thing. But you said you are married. You need to stand up and deal with your situation, and resolve it on your

own. No Gaiety boy prince charming is going to run away with you to a tropical paradise so you can live happily ever after. Deal with

your life situation, and work on your self estime, then, and only then, will you find someone to love you.

 

(Sorry for the two bit head shrinkage, I got carried away, and I'm not qulaified to make such judgements - spend more time with your

own shrink and find out what is really going on.)

[Guest jay]

I wouldn't call it foolish at all, however; a bit misguided and perhaps, as you pointed out, going towards a good cause.

 

I was also in the same situation and asked myself the same question. The honest answer -- this is what it is regardless of the cause. Truly helping someone means handing money over without expecting anything in return.

 

Also Skydiver, think about the flip-side of this...many of the escorts who claim to be students may just be using that to morally support their escorting. No doubt higher education is expensive and I can understand not wanting that black could of debt hanging over your head when your finished. There are alternatives to doing this via grants and loans. If I took a guess at the reasons guys escort, in order of necessity: 1) financial trouble (including school), 2) drugs, 3) they love their work.

[Guest chris_mann]

RE: Paul Revere / Feb-12/

 

LAST EDITED ON Feb-13-00 AT 08:25AM (CST)[p]LAST EDITED ON Feb-13-00 AT 08:15 AM (CST)

 

I have been in a friendship with an escort I met over two years ago. We had 3 sessions together and mutually decided that we were better suited as friends. Since I have had more life experience than he has he often asks my advice on certain issues and often times he is able to help me out in others. This guy is latino and I found Seans' remark to be quite racist(how can he generalize about all brazilians?). I would advise you to let things unfold naturally and if this guy is genuine you may have the beginnings of a beautiful friendship.

[Guest DW]

RE: Paul Revere / Feb-12/

 

I think you were responding to my message... I hope my escort and I have a good friendship in the making...we'll see. My situation does sound similar to yours with your latino escort...we help each other out. I was first a bit taken back by Sean's comments (I don't quite understand the Brazilian thing), but then I realized Sean may perhaps approach escorting in a more "methodical" way some escorts. I guess there's no one answer to this.

BTW: I do love my escort, the way I love anybody that doesn't have a mean bone in his body.

[Guest Sean]

RE: Paul Revere / Feb-12/

 

DW, I didn't mean to sound racist with my comments about Brazilians. I love em! Just speaking from my own personal experiences with so called "str8" Brazilian boys. Had one as a BF last summer by the name of KADU who turned out to be a master manipulator a thief and a major liar. Woke up last summer one day to Customs agents knocking on my door because he tried shipping steroids in the country from Brazil under my name. Not a racist by any means but these so called str8 Brazilian boys are good at making you think that you are the only one for them! Just beware is all I'm saying.

[Guest DW]

RE: Paul Revere / Feb-12/

 

Sean- I didn't say anything about you being racist, someone else in the thread did..I just didn't get what you meant about the Brazillian thing. Thanks for your advice about being careful. On one hand, I'm aware of rip-off escorts, but on the other hand, it's not fair to think of all escorts that way...