Question On Clients?

[Gar1eth]

Ok--so it has been posted on here before that the majority of clients are bottoms--or at least when they are looking for an escort experience--a large proportion want to be topped.

 

As someone who never wants to be topped, I was just wondering if anyone--escorts or clients-- had some ideas of why this is--not my never wanting to be topped--but why a majority of clients are bottoms--if this is indeed true.

 

Thanks,

 

Gman

[OneFinger]

Gman,

 

You and I are identical. No escort's sword is coming near my back door (and the same rule applies for non-escort encounters). Nothing "versatile" about me.

 

Not sure I agree with your assessment that most clients are bottoms. I think that perhaps there are more escorts that prefer to top or at least don't bottom for first-time or casual clients.

 

It's been my experience that it's the escorts that usually resistant to playing bottom. Or maybe I'm just so large that they're scared to ride me. :+

[a_nice_guy]

>--a large proportion want to be topped.

Good question, GMan.

Without going into too much detail, I always wanted to be "top" only. I enjoyed it with both men and women. And, my experiences with men were ones where most men preferred being a bottom. I never really gave much thought as to why "bottoming" seemed to be a preference for guys--I just enjoyed the "ride." As of late, I've begun to wonder what all the "hoop-la" is about...so, I've tried it with an escort. Unfortunately, we didn't get very far because he was too big (on a side note, are all the darned escorts in my area huge or what? It shouldn't be this difficult to fulfill a "fantasy" without a lot of pain)...speaking of pain--because the guy was so big, it hurt more than it was pleasurable. However, I could tell that with the right guy, the feeling of being a bottom could be a whole new & pleasurable experience. That's me; and, I respect those who view their "hole" as a "one-way" device.

 

>As someone who never wants to be topped, I was just wondering

>if anyone--escorts or clients-- had some ideas of why this

>is--not my never wanting to be topped--but why a majority of

>clients are bottoms--if this is indeed true.

>

First, thanks, GMan, for clarifying which question to which you seek an answer (>--not my never wanting to be topped)(LOL). I've given some thought to this, and I wonder if it has something to do with their first/early sexual experience(s). Before I get bombarded with criticism, let me say I'm speaking from my own "frame of reference:" I was sexually abused by a female when I was 10 years old--there was a lot of concentration on her breasts. Even today, I am somewhat "excited" by women's breasts. There's more about my childhood, but I think I've said enough...just my thoughts on the matter...

[Damascene]

When I hung out at Rounds, clients were looking for top, more times then not. Also I know "rugged" tops who get much more action than grogeous bottoms. Isn't it a question of whether more tops or bottoms in the m4m community?

 

If there are more guys looking to be bottoms, top predominate escort supply and demand. And vice-a-versa.

 

I am not the butchest thing out there (insert jokes in thread below), but the number of times I gone home, when I was younger, with "tops", I ended up doing duty.

 

There are truly versatile guys out there, but most gay men hover near top or bottom. Most towards bottom.

[seaboy4hire]

Or maybe I'm just so large that

>they're scared to ride me. :+

>

>

 

I do like me a challenge and yeah I bottom for first time clients and repeats

 

Hugs,

Greg

 

seaboy4hire@yahoo.com

http://seaboy4hire.tripod.com New page for reviews http://www.daddysreviews.com/newest.php?who=greg_seattle Los Angeles June 28, 2007 One day only!CHICAGO June 29-July 2, 2007

http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/3307/dsc05257be3.jpg

[Gar1eth]

>Gman,

>

>You and I are identical. No escort's sword is coming near my

>back door (and the same rule applies for non-escort

>encounters). Nothing "versatile" about me.

>

>Not sure I agree with your assessment that most clients are

>bottoms. I think that perhaps there are more escorts that

>prefer to top or at least don't bottom for first-time or

>casual clients.

>

>It's been my experience that it's the escorts that usually

>resistant to playing bottom. Or maybe I'm just so large that

>they're scared to ride me. :+

>

>

Ok--1st--and I am embarrassed to say this--I get mixed up on these horse metaphors. IS the bottom the rider and the top the ridee or do I have it confused? I'll freely admit to having trouble with spatial concepts--I was terrible at drafting in shop class when I was in junior high.

 

2nd--I don't think I was sexually abused as a child (or if I was the repressed memories haven't surfaced yet 9Note: that's a poor excuse for a joke). My parents--ok my mother may have gone a little too far in discipline occasionally--but we are not talking "wire hangers" here--and I'm betting that considering most of my childhood was in the 60's and early 70's--that the discipline I received while nowadays would look awful was fairly standard for back then. A neurosurgeon I knew back in college once mentioned that it was good thing no one called Protective Servicces back in the days that his children were young--so obviously discipline standards have changed with time.

 

So I don't think I can blame abuse for wanting to be a top.

 

Gman

[seaboy4hire]

>>

>>It's been my experience that it's the escorts that usually

>>resistant to playing bottom. Or maybe I'm just so large that

>>they're scared to ride me. :+

>>

>>

>Ok--1st--and I am embarrassed to say this--I get mixed up on

>these horse metaphors. IS the bottom the rider and the top

>the ridee or do I have it confused? I'll freely admit to

>having trouble with spatial concepts--I was terrible at

>drafting in shop class when I was in junior high.

>

 

>

>Gman

 

My interpretation is that it can go either way. A bottom can ride a top say the top is laying on his back and the bottom is on top of the client bouncing on the cock then the bottom could be considered riding the cock, one of my favorite positions But I am sure that some will have their own definitions.

 

Hugs,

Greg

 

seaboy4hire@yahoo.com

http://seaboy4hire.tripod.com New page for reviews http://www.daddysreviews.com/newest.php?who=greg_seattle Los Angeles June 28, 2007 One day only!CHICAGO June 29-July 2, 2007

http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/3307/dsc05257be3.jpg

[Gar1eth]

>When I hung out at Rounds, clients were looking for top, more

>times then not. Also I know "rugged" tops who get much more

>action than grogeous bottoms. Isn't it a question of whether

>more tops or bottoms in the m4m community?

>

>If there are more guys looking to be bottoms, top predominate

>escort supply and demand. And vice-a-versa.

>

>I am not the butchest thing out there (insert jokes in thread

>below), but the number of times I gone home, when I was

>younger, with "tops", I ended up doing duty.

>

>There are truly versatile guys out there, but most gay men

>hover near top or bottom. Most towards bottom.

>

 

 

RIght--so that's my question--are more gay males bottoms--or at least the subset who hire--and if so why.

 

Gman

 

PS What prompted my question is the number of escorts who advertsie as tops compared to those who advertise as something else. I would assume possibly with supply and demand if more clients were tops--then a lot more escorts would advertise as versatile or bottom.

[seattlebottom]

As my ID states, I am a bottom. I have never wanted to fuck anyone, nor even be sucked off. For me, the sexual thrill comes from knowing that I can attract a guy's attention, get him hard and still have the power to decide just how far I want to let things get. I've been accused of being a cock teaser and that's ok with me, lol.

 

Being hispanic I can speak to the fact that the deragotory remarks that are used against gays are usually reserved for bottoms who are seen as weak and womanly for letting another guy penetrate him. I have also met gay men (of many races and ethnicities) who have stereotypes about bottoms as being submissive and feminine. I've had 2 guys outright tell me that they didn't think I bottomed because I "act" masculine. I think a lot of guys might feel less manly if they bottomed since it seems to be a taboo thing to do even within some members of the gay community.

[uwsman2]

When I was first starting out as a gay man decades ago, I thought of myself as a top, fearing the physical pain of penetration. Then I had my first real gay relationship with a slightly older man who was modestly hung and very patient and taught me how to relax and get fucked and enjoy it. When AIDS came along and condoms became necessary, I discovered that I could not stay hard in a condom long enough to penetrate and give a good fuck; I'm not sure whether this was psychological, most likely it was; but as a result I've been almost exclusively a bottom for the past twenty years or so.

 

I really enjoyed topping back in the day, although I had a tendency to "come" much faster than I wanted....

 

So when I hire now, its exclusively as a bottom -- and my experience is that regardless how they label themselves - versatile or top - escorts vary in their topping abilities and some have the same problem staying hard in a condom that I experience.

 

My experience over many decades is that the size of a top's cock when erect is not the most relevant factor in terms of the painfulness of being topped. It is really a question of the bottom's relaxation, the top's skill in preparing the bottom, etc. I've been topped by some monsters with little or no pain, and had painful experiences with guys who were not particularly well hung. It's mainly a matter of attitude, relaxation, and skill, not size (with rare exceptions for super monster cocks ) )

[+ newatthis]

Perhaps to those experienced with women (who have been tops by default), the idea of bottoming seems exotic and alluring -- it's what gay guys can do that straight guys can't (yeah, yeah I know about toys, but that's not the same thing as a genuine warm body). Then there is the condom factor, which, as another poster writes, can affect escorts who are tops as well as clients.

 

I once expressed, to a friend much more experienced than I, my surprise that a macho, straight, 22-year old I took home from a strip club turned out to be a bottom. My friend claimed that, in his experience, most young escorts prefer to bottom, even the straight ones.

 

The first few times I tried bottoming were at best uncomfortable and at worst painful; they probably lasted no more than a minute. Even now, when I've had hot times bottoming, it's never a given that it will work for me, even with someone I've had multiple good experiences with in the past. I've never tried to analyze why, but it's definitely not, at this point, an issue of relaxation or size.

[+ Charlie]

Most gay men can function as either top or bottom, and many enjoy both roles. However, because of social stereotyping, older men are usually expected to be tops in their private sexual relationships, so when they want to be bottoms, it may be easier to hire a top. After about age 35, I could still pick up guys who wanted to bottom for me, but finding tops--particularly attractive younger tops--became very difficult, so that was when I started hiring tops; even now, I can find attractive younger men who want me to play daddy, so there isn't much motivation to hire a bottom unless I have something very specific in mind and want to get it efficiently. The majority of clients are older men, for whom the bottom role may also be physically easier--I don't have to stay hard, or even get hard, to enjoy myself as a bottom.

 

Most escorts probably advertise as tops because they have discovered that is what sells. Furthermore, escorts are advertising their services to strangers, so if I were an escort (I hustled briefly in my early 20s), I would feel more in control of the transaction if I presented myself as a top, regardless of my personal role preference. When one reads reviews, one notices that clients who hire a particular escort regularly often describe him as much more versatile than his ads might indicate.

[Gar1eth]

>Most gay men can function as either top or bottom, and many

>enjoy both roles.

 

I appreciate all the responses to this thread. Since I've revealed a large part of my psychological profile on another thread that I started, and since I started this thread, I guess here is where I reveal physical characteristics.

 

I'm in my 40's and would be described as a bear--not a muscular bear unfortunately but a bear. In rebuttal to the statement above, I don't think I could function as a bottom. I've only ever had sex with escorts but even prior to that when I used to imagine gay sex --I just could not imagine being a bottom. This has changed slightly since I have actually started having sex--but I still don't and pain is a large part of it. I also have issues with either chronic prostatitis or chronic pelvic pain--and I can't imagine having something directly hitting my prostate is going to be good for it. But my feelings on bottoming long preceded my problems with prostatitis.

 

I also frequently have problems keeping an erection in a condom. If that ever becomes a 100% reality--I see me either sticking with oral--and if I ever for some reason became totally impotent--please if there are any higher powers up there, protect me from this-- I am thinking that much of my sex life will be over, because I am still not interested in bottoming.

 

Gman

 

Ps I have to find a job--I am contributing too much and revealing too much of myself over the last 4 weeks. Pretty soon my alluring air of mystery will be all shot to heck.

[buckguy]

If you're asking about the general population--a lot of people who say there are more bottoms than tops. The escort world does not interact with the general population. This has come up on other bulletin boards. In practice, I would guess that most gay men are at least nominally versatile. I rarely bottom. For awhile it was because I had been with some rather inept tops who really didn't set the stage very well for insertion--too soon, too pushy, etc. With a capable top (ironically, one was an escort who primarily advertised as a bottom), I have a much better time, but I've never quite "gotten the point", if you know what I mean.

 

In terms of power, I think a good bottom definitely has more power in a sexual situation. He can deny what the top wants and frustrate more than vice versa. If a top can't get hard that may disappoint a true bottom, but usually that's not how things are meant to unfold. The best bottoms I've been with have been pretty controlling, but not in a negative way. The stereotype that Marines are usually bottoms (true in my experience) is a good example of how people trained to control a situation can be a good bottom. Plus, as noted above, it's a role that allows someone who's very controlled in other ways to abandon a part of themselves. The worst tops have been the one who made amateurish attempts at being in control.

[JT Brooklyn]

IMHO..Bottom Line..."Great" Topping is alot of Work. Since the Guy's Advertise as "Working It" Let them do MOST of the Work!

 

As a Flip-Flopper and with these Rates Lately..A Guy better have a Pile Driving Butt to work with also! LOL :P

[Gar1eth]

Bump

 

Gman

[Guest novabear22031]

"Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't..."

 

I tend to identify/define myself as a Top. I just like taking charge I guess. But there are times that things change.... I have no hang-ups with saying I can be versatile when the time is right.

 

I just came back from two back-to-back trips - Chicago for IML/Bear Pride and Palm Springs for Bears in the Desert. I was in a total Top mode in Chicago. While in Palm Springs I was very much the Top till my last night there.

 

It was late at night (better yet early morning) when I was joined in the Jacuzzi by this youngish, black guy. We chatted a bit, and then one thing led to another <eek>.

 

The short story is that we started to get "close" in the Jacuzzi. Feeling each others bodies. We both got in to the opposites of our bodies - him non-shaved smooth, and firm; and me furry, and very much a Daddy Bear type.

 

In our water romp, I was taking charge as the Top - or so I thought. As we bounced around in the water, I was teased as him being the Top. What ended up happening was that we shared in us both being the Top and bottom that night/morning.

 

The point being is that we are more than the labels we apply to ourselves. I am from the "old school", meaning that you become a good Top by first learning to be a good bottom.

 

I think to try to answer your original question, I feel that some clients are mostly bottom for the intimacy that it brings. For the likes of Rick Hammersmith (a very hot bottom IMHO) are far and few between.

 

To be honest, there could be many books written about what is a bottom, verses a Top. In the end - it should be about the intimacy....

[Gar1eth]

>"Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't..."

>

>I tend to identify/define myself as a Top. I just like taking

>charge I guess. But there are times that things change.... I

>have no hang-ups with saying I can be versatile when the time

>is right.

 

For me it has nothing to do with who is on 1st--sorry I mean who is in charge. My stance is the same as OneFInger above who said no escort was coming near his backdoor. I will even go a step further--if I am ever lucky enough to have a partner--which I doubt--he ain't coming near the back dooor either.

 

>I just came back from two back-to-back trips - Chicago for

>IML/Bear Pride and Palm Springs for Bears in the Desert. I was

>in a total Top mode in Chicago. While in Palm Springs I was

>very much the Top till my last night there.

>

>It was late at night (better yet early morning) when I was

>joined in the Jacuzzi by this youngish, black guy. We chatted

>a bit, and then one thing led to another <eek>.

>

>The short story is that we started to get "close" in the

>Jacuzzi. Feeling each others bodies. We both got in to the

>opposites of our bodies - him non-shaved smooth, and firm; and

>me furry, and very much a Daddy Bear type.

>

>In our water romp, I was taking charge as the Top - or so I

>thought. As we bounced around in the water, I was teased as

>him being the Top. What ended up happening was that we shared

>in us both being the Top and bottom that night/morning.

>

>The point being is that we are more than the labels we apply

>to ourselves. I am from the "old school", meaning that you

>become a good Top by first learning to be a good bottom.

 

I appreciate the post--because it is interesting to find people who want or enjoy things so diametrically opposed to what I want and. So while in general you call yourself a top, but can be versatile.

 

In my case while I maybe more than a label, the "top" label describes me perfectly- because I don't bottom.

 

Also if my school said I could only be a top by being a bottom 1st--I'd be changing alma maters.

>

>I think to try to answer your original question, I feel that

>some clients are mostly bottom for the intimacy that it

>brings. For the likes of Rick Hammersmith (a very hot bottom

>IMHO) are far and few between.

>

>To be honest, there could be many books written about what is

>a bottom, verses a Top. In the end - it should be about the

>intimacy....

 

For me it has nothing to do with intimacy, I can't think of being much more intimate than me being the topper while in a missionary position looking straight--sorry--looking directly at my partner and able to observe his expressions and osculate at will.

 

 

I realize that I am probably missing a lot by not willing to be versatile--but it won't be the 1st time.

 

So I appreciate everyone's input. Let's hear the opinions from more members of the Message Center.

 

Gman

[Guest justinwakefield]

"Don't believe everything you read!" is my response. Some people are very honest about their sexual proclivities and some people prefer to stretch the truth based on a variety of factors. I imagine that most people who ARE bottoms want someone who is an expert at getting it up, keeping it up and showing them how to explore that most wondrous of temples... the Male Asshole! As a final statement I do like that old joke about Tops vs. Bottoms. It goes: "How are Gay Men like tupperware?" Answer: You can always find the bottoms.

[Gar1eth]

>"Don't believe everything you read!" is my response. Some

>people are very honest about their sexual proclivities and

>some people prefer to stretch the truth based on a variety of

>factors. I imagine that most people who ARE bottoms want

>someone who is an expert at getting it up, keeping it up and

>showing them how to explore that most wondrous of temples...

>the Male Asshole! As a final statement I do like that old

>joke about Tops vs. Bottoms. It goes: "How are Gay Men like

>tupperware?" Answer: You can always find the bottoms.

 

 

Justin,

 

Thank you for responding to this thread. I think you are the 1st professional to reply to it. It would be nice to hear from more. I'd like to hear from top escorts, bottoms, and versatile guys.

 

Thanks again,

 

Gman

[Steven_Draker]

Gman

Although I equally enjoy topping and bottoming, I find myself hired much more often as a top rather than as bottom.

Some time ago 'nyc_man' said to me "what is a good top without a good bottom ... ?" I totally agree with that.

 

Steven Draker ~

http://www.daddysreviews.com/review.php?who=steven_draker_brussels