getting head

[BigD]

I have never had an escort give me oral. I have never asked for it and I have never expected it. Seldom have I allowed an escort to even touch my dick. The reasons are probably more self-loathing than anything else: my dick is too small, produces too much pre-cum, and I have erection difficulties due to either the meds I am taking or my age. Regardless, I can get off. I can't believe I am telling you all this stuff, but anonymity helps.

 

My question is: Should I ask an escort to give me oral? I am seeing a guy who appears to be more than willing to satisfy me in every way. He has tried to play with my dick and I have prevented him from doing so. The fantasy is there and I prone to asking for this.

 

My fear is rejection or that he will be repulsed while trying to please me.

 

What do you suggest?

[+ Axiom2001]

You stated that the escort is willing to give you his all. Once you meet him, ask him again if he is still up to satisfying all of your needs, desires, and requests. If he's not, either continue with the appointment and make the better of it, or don't go through with it!

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey BigD,

 

Thanks for being so open and sharing something so personal. I think this is what makes this board so special, so we can all come here and look for other people's opinions on the issues that trouble us most.

 

I would try a different approach than the one Axiom suggests. I would not ask him if he is willing to fulfill all my desires, because no matter what he answers to that there will always be a lot of "weight" around that.

 

What I would do is while playing with him, just say that the other day you either were having a fantasy or a wet dream while a really hot guy was sucking your cock, and it was amazing, since it hasn't happenned in a long time. Anyone would understand the hint.

 

IN my personal case since I have a very strict rule about not exchanging fluids, I would not be able to acommodate that request, since you say you precum a lot, but I know of many escorts who LOVE precum. If yours is luckily one of those, then I am sure that in no time he's going to be sucking it to your heart's content.

 

Congratulations on wanting to fulfill your needs, and I wish you the best of lucks!

 

A tight hug!

[Bilbo]

You do not need to loathe yourself. This is nothing that you decided to do. This is either the natural way that your body just happened, or else there was some religious reason why it was decided before you were born that you would be this way. You are a real man. You are good in a lot of ways, I am willing to bet.

Have you tried getting hard inside of a condom? Does the precum get out of it, or does it, as I would expect, stay down in the tip of it, or maybe come just up around the sides some? If your precum doesn't escape the condom, why not ask him if he would be willing to suck your cock with a condom on it? Many people even insist on the people they suck having one on.

As we often say around here - Communication! Ask for exactly what you want, not something open ended. Then be prepared to ask for the next thing you want after that. Negotiate either in person or on the phone. If it's on the phone, feel free to not hire the person who wouldn't do what you want done. (But maybe hire the man who would maybe do it.) It's your body, it's your money, it's your pleasure we're talking about here. Not some endurance test you go through to confirm your low self esteem.

[Guest PWIT]

http://www.condomdepot.com/product/detail.cfm/nid/207/pid/2700

 

Maybe flavored condoms would help.

[whipped guy]

Perhaps if I could relate a couple of experiences as it might help you put things somewhat into perspective.

 

When dealing with total tops this can be a tricky question. I was pleasantly surprised that it has happened more or less on the spur of the moment… One time by a now retired S&M specialist who just wanted to do it on his own and the other time by an S&M specialist to whom I almost lightheartedly stated as the session was winding down, ”For what you just did to me you should get on your knees and suck my cock!” And guess what, to my surprise he did… and probably because he knew I was experiencing issues similar to those mentioned above… so you are not alone. Now this is more or less the “hint hint” approach Juan suggested above… it worked on this occasion, but has failed on quite a number of others…

 

Now I recently had what could have been an awkward experience with a guy who said he would do it with a condom as he was very concerned with issues of safety… (We had briefly touched on this in exchanging emails, but it was only during the session that I got a bit a bit more upfront about it.) I told him that I most certainly would respect his wishes and the fact that he was so concerned with safety only increased my respect for him as an individual… and actually made me feel more comfortable for having hired him. Look at it this way; I would rather live to play another day than deal with someone who can be reckless. So, if you are dealing with someone with whom you feel comfortable and value the service he has been providing you it a bit of mutual respect can go a long way. So don’t be concerned with fears of being rejected, as Juan stated many escorts have strict rules that they follow… and that is a good thing… and remember it is the escort who is putting himself a greater risk as opposed to the client in such a situation… though doing such an act unprotected is not absolutely risk free for either.

 

Now for the almost embarrassing part: The only condoms we had available were lubed and he did not like the taste of the lube… so we crazily tried to put the thing on more or less upside down and backwards so as to cover up the offending taste… Well we were not exactly successful at doing this… essentially we probably looked a bit like Lucy and Ethel in the candy factory… and actually got quite a laugh over it all with my jokingly stating that, “We both looked like we flunked Sex 101.” Obviously we never completed the deed… so ‘Plan B’ went into effect.

 

So the moral of the story is that it is always good to have a ‘Plan B’… and possibly even a ‘Plan C’ to fall back on… but don’t be afraid to ask upfront, the guy will tell you where he stands and you decide from there, but remember that there is no such thing as perfection in life and certainly not in the escorting part of life. Plus, those issues of mutual respect should never be forgotten… so no matter which technique you use to try and get the guy to "do the deed"... there should always be a two-way street with reciprocal regard for the limits of both the escort and client.

 

Oh, and I should mention that I plan to hire my fellow “sex flunky” again… while I will have a ‘Plan B’ in place, this ‘Always Be Prepared Boy Scout’ will have a ‘Plan A’ that includes having an array of flavored condoms on hand… or to quote a line from the movie Pretty Woman… a veritable “buffet of safety”… actually I just might ask upfront what his favorite flavor is!

[Guest novabear22031]

Thanks for sharing as someone mentioned.

 

I do find it helpful in having a dialog with an escort before hand, so that we understand my issues and their boundaries... In the two hires I have done so far, this approach seems to have worked like a charm.

 

While you have concerns about sucking, I have concerns about kissing. My most recent hire dispelled my concerns about that. So it is a matter of finding the right guy for what we are looking for IMO.

 

You spoke of respect and safety. This is why I like time to get to know an escort. It tells me more about what I can expect and need to protect myself (and him). At the same time I will never try to put myself at risk with any escort. But with some I have talked with, I know I need to think deeper on what we might do - if I were to meet up with them.

 

Your mention of a Plan B or C, is why I always carry my own lubes and condoms in meeting any sex partner. The condoms include the flavored type, which are great for sucking off in IMO.

 

Wish you all the luck in finding the right guy.. it can be daunting....

[Rick Munroe]

>What I would do is while playing with him, just say that the

>other day you either were having a fantasy or a wet dream

>while a really hot guy was sucking your cock, and it was

>amazing, since it hasn't happenned in a long time. Anyone

>would understand the hint.

 

Juan, I'm sure you meant well but I have to disagree. I believe in direct, honest communication (whether it's between escort & client, or two spouses, or whatever), so I would never advise anyone to play games and drop hints that may or may not be clearly understood.

 

Big D, I think it's perfectly fine (and quite sexy) to just simply ask, "Would you suck my cock?" and be prepared for either a "yes" or "no" answer. My guess is that most guys would suck it.

 

>IN my personal case since I have a very strict rule about not

>exchanging fluids, I would not be able to acommodate that

>request

 

But most guys produce precum. It's a natural lubrication that occurs when the penis becomes erect. Yes, some guys make a lot while some don't make any, but I would say that (in my limited experience ;-)) most guys do produce some amount of precum when aroused. Does this mean that you never suck anybody at all? Also...most people produce saliva. Does this mean you never deep kiss at all? I'm not attacking your policies (we all have them); I'm just curious how far you go with your no-fluids rule and what exceptions you make.

[Rick Munroe]

>or else there was some religious reason why it

>was decided before you were born that you would be this way.

 

Which religion is that? Semenology?

[Rick Munroe]

>Now this is more or less the

>“hint hint” approach Juan suggested above… it worked on this

>occasion, but has failed on quite a number of others…

 

That's why I say we should all be direct and upfront in our communications. I'll always remember what my Sex Ed teacher told us: "Take responsibility for your own orgasm." In other words, tell your partner exactly what it is you want! You may not always get it, but if you don't speak up, you'll probably get it a lot less often.

[Rick Munroe]

>Maybe flavored condoms would help.

 

It would be ironic if they came in "precum" flavor.

[Juan Vancouver]

>I

>believe in direct, honest communication (whether it's between

>escort & client, or two spouses, or whatever), so I would

>never advise anyone to play games and drop hints that may or

>may not be clearly understood.

 

Dear Rick,

 

As I have repeated again and again in the time that I have been posting here, I too, believe that open communication is the only way to go. In this case, however, since BigD does mention that he is afraid of rejection or putting the escort in a situation in which he might feel "forced" to do something, with the posibly feeling "repulsed" as a consequence, (even if that would only happen in BigD's mind), I do believe that an open invitation would feel more comfortable for BigD.

 

Also he has been seeing this guy before and has deflected the attention that the escort gave to his cock. The only other option, (Sitting with the escort and going: "In the past I haven't allowed you to do this, but I have been thinking.... so Could you please...?") might be a bit too open for a situation that BigD can read and internalize as rejection.

 

I hope this makes my thoughts clearer to you.

 

A tight hug.

 

 

Juan Vancouver

[Guest RandyRon]

>

>>IN my personal case since I have a very strict rule about

>not

>>exchanging fluids, I would not be able to acommodate that

>>request

>

>But most guys produce precum. It's a natural lubrication that

>occurs when the penis becomes erect. Yes, some guys make a

>lot while some don't make any, but I would say that (in my

>limited experience ;-)) most guys do produce some amount of

>precum when aroused. Does this mean that you never suck

>anybody at all? Also...most people produce saliva. Does this

>mean you never deep kiss at all? I'm not attacking your

>policies (we all have them); I'm just curious how far you go

>with your no-fluids rule and what exceptions you make.

 

 

ROTFLMFAO If you only have "limited experience," I must still be a virgin.

:+

But back to the point. I have recently found that having a guy chew rather aggressively on my nipples is a major turn on. Unfortunately, I seem to have gone from having pecs to having tits which I don't consider very attractive. However, I've found that most escorts have no problem working them over if I request it. Remember two things: 1) if you don't ask, you'll never know, and 2)you should get what you're paying for.

[best hotel]

...he might be glad you dick is small...he won't have to work as hard sucking it....

[Bilbo]

I won't go into details here. I don't want the thread reclassified. They certainly wouldn't be considered by many to be mainstream anymore, but there are both ancient and new age religions and some philosophical novels which include this idea.

[Bilbo]

I have seen entire sections on picture sites devoted to men with smaller penises, or what is sometimes referred to as "party size". Heck, I even had a client for a while who couldn't get it up at all due to some surgery, and I really did enjoy sucking him.

 

And all of this Plan B and Plan C stuff. It sounds like I am not the only Capricorn around here. We always have plans within plans, eh? LOL

[JT Brooklyn]

Rick, Totally Agree..Upfront beforehand is the only way to go!

 

Whatever the 2 Guy's "Expectation's" of each other are, they should be defined before hand! Understandably for Various Reasons, there are those "Working Guy's" ALSO who donot get into "Oral or Cum" everytime either!

 

IF this is expected to happen and how the Working Guy is expected to accomplish this, it should be discussed! IMHO..

 

Too many guy's do the Obligatory Horney as Hell Cell Call.. discuss little and end up doing very little!

 

Of course for those who are just into "Bending Over" not much has to be said! They Satisfy according to some Review's very easily! LOL

 

I realize there are those, who for whatever reason, have trouble discussing Sex before the fact! BUT There is less chance of Something Very Hard..Going Very Soft..Very Fast.. on either one of the Participants IF it is!

 

:P

[whipped guy]

Re: BUT There is less chance of Something Very Hard..Going Very Soft..Very Fast.. [/font color = blue]

 

Is JT not the "Master of Words" on in this forum???

[BigD]

RE: I am asking for it; getting head

 

I have decided to go for it. I just emailed him, thinking that was the best way to discuss this, with all the details I had given here. He is a genuine and good person. Whatever his response is I will still enjoy his company, but I am also going to pursue this gratification for myself. The escort in question does not go to this site, but another escort I have seen does and he responded to me personally offering his services. I found that to be very sweet on his part. He is also a very giving person, providing attention one could never pay for. There are really some nice guys out there escorting. I do see it as a healing business, or it can be.

 

Anyway, thank you for your responses. We shall see.

BigD

[Rick Munroe]

RE: I am asking for it; getting head

 

>I have decided to go for it.

 

That's so cool. Please keep us posted and keep on going for it.

 

By the way, not every gay man is a size queen. Personally, while I can easily deep throat a big one (Derek trained me well), I get just as much pleasure from smaller or average ones. Check out this site: http://www.smalldickmagazine.com/ (I've used it as jackoff inspiration!) }(

[Rick Munroe]

>I hope this makes my thoughts clearer to you.

 

Juan, your thoughts on this question were very clear from the start, and I still feel that the direct way is the best way. If you recall, BigD's issue wasn't the fear of asking; it was the fear of rejection. With your "hint" approach, there is still every chance of being rejected (even more so, if the escort doesn't take the hint!) and more chance of confusion and hurt feelings. So, I still feel it's always better to just tell it like it is. But, of course, you're entitled to your opinion.

[Rick Munroe]

Indubitably!

[AdamSmith]

RE: I am asking for it; getting head

 

>By the way, not every gay man is a size queen.

 

Hear, hear. One escort I know is not more than 4 inches long when hard. He advertises as a bottom but one of my favorite things is giving him head -- especially fun as he is ultra-sensitive, so it is an exercise in finesse. Nice change from the industrial grinding operations that are also fun but take a toll on the mandibles!

[Rick Munroe]

RE: I am asking for it; getting head

 

>Nice change

>from the industrial grinding operations that are also fun but

>take a toll on the mandibles!

 

And you don't have to wait a few hours for your sore jaw to line up correctly again! :o

[AdamSmith]

RE: I am asking for it; getting head

 

>>Nice change

>>from the industrial grinding operations that are also fun

>but

>>take a toll on the mandibles!

>

>And you don't have to wait a few hours for your sore jaw to

>line up correctly again! :o

 

Is there an echo in here? :+