Need some feedback

[gr8hd]

About a year ago, I contacted a local escort via email inquiring about an appointment, rates, and what color speedos he had. We had 2 or 3 back and forth emails, never setting an appointment, and then I had a tragedy in my life. A sibling became sick with cancer and had to move in with me and died all very quickly. My life stopped. I never got back to the escort, and frankly assumed he had forgotten about me.

 

Now, a year later, I'm starting to get over my loss and wrote back to inquire if he had any time available. He responded that he remembered I had written to him before. I replied that yes, I had written about a year prior and explained my siblings illness. He replied "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me."

 

Did I do something wrong? We had never discussed a date/time, just inquired into general availability. I appologized to the escort and asked him to reconsider. His response was the same quote.

 

Thoughts?

 

Gr8head

[+ purplekow]

As laid out by you, you did nothing wrong. Politeness would dictate that you give the escort a simple apology and explanation for the previous dead end, preferrably at the first re-contact. The ball is then in his court.

 

Some escorts, like some people in general, are cynical by nature and others have become cynical as a result of the realities of dealing with the public in a service industry. Most escorts, I believe, would give you a second chance with or without the explanation. This gentleman chooses not to reopen a previously closed door. If you are in an area where escorts are plentiful, then I would move on. If your choices are limited, I might approach him one more time. If you are just determined to have your way and to be with this guy no matter what, you could resort to subterfuge such as creating another screen name. I think it is probably best to make this story one of

"the one who got away" type story.

[seaboy4hire]

>About a year ago, I contacted a local escort via email

>inquiring about an appointment, rates, and what color speedos

>he had. We had 2 or 3 back and forth emails, never setting an

>appointment, and then I had a tragedy in my life. A sibling

>became sick with cancer and had to move in with me and died

>all very quickly. My life stopped. I never got back to the

>escort, and frankly assumed he had forgotten about me.

>

>Now, a year later, I'm starting to get over my loss and wrote

>back to inquire if he had any time available. He responded

>that he remembered I had written to him before. I replied

>that yes, I had written about a year prior and explained my

>siblings illness. He replied "Fool me once, shame on you,

>fool me twice, shame on me."

>

>Did I do something wrong? We had never discussed a date/time,

>just inquired into general availability. I appologized to the

>escort and asked him to reconsider. His response was the same

>quote.

>

>Thoughts?

>

>Gr8head

IMO you did nothing wrong. Granted yes many of us receive emails that are dead ends and can cause some to be as stated before cynical. In my case I think that if something like this happened I would give the benefit of the doubt. But since this escort acted again imo extremely unprofessional don't waste one more key stroke on him. Find someone that is understanding and attentive to your needs. We are out there but unfortunately you have to hunt from time to time. I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I've had a couple relatives pass on due to Cancer and it is never easy at first. I'm glad that you are getting your life back into order and starting to live again. I wish you the best in your hunt for someone fun.

 

Hugs,

Greg

 

seaboy4hire@yahoo.com

http://seaboy4hire.tripod.com New page for reveiws http://www.daddysreviews.com/newest.php?who=greg_seattle

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CHICAGO FEBRUARY 22-25

[Guest Merlin]

If you still want to pursue it, I suggest you try one more time, this time saying that you definitely want to meet him, and suggesting as specifically as possible, a time and place, with a willingness to be flexible. Since he thinks you strung him along the first time, he may be unwilling to engage in vague discussions about a "possible" meeting again.

[soccerjock624]

I can understand the reason the escort would be upset, as I know there are many guys out there who enjoy just talking to someone about sex and never plan on actually following through with what they are discussing. This applies to all kinds of things, not just escorting, lots of guys do it when hooking up. Did you send him an email a year ago? or did u just disappear? I must admit thought that this even though ive only been doing this for 5 months, I know that about half of the inquiries I get will not occur. HE should expect such....

 

Brett Mathers

407-670-9022

http://www.rentboy.com/soccerjock6242

[+ Charlie]

Sometimes escorts get stung, and they become suspicious about excuses for cancellations. I once made an appt. with a well-reviewed NY escort, but the night before the appt. I became quite ill, and I phoned the next morning and left a message that I had to return home instead to see my doctor. When I tried to email him the next day to apologize again and set up a new appt., he had blocked my email address. I phoned and left another message, but never got a reply. So I wrote him off.

 

I wouldn't suggest strongly pursuing him; there are already bad vibes there now, and the appt. experience is likely to contain more tension than fun, since you will be striving too hard to make him feel that you are OK.

[Louis]

I agree with what many of the guys are saying....He isn't acting like an escort I would want to meet. I would have thought he would have shown some sympathy or concern for what you had gone through, even though he doesn't know you) and with that being the case, why would you want to spend time with him, other than because of his looks, and there are tons of good looking guys out there, so don't get hung up on the guy.

[Guest TBinCHI]

Wow, these responses are all way too diplomatic. My thought is to tell him to fuck off and forget him. There are way too many good escorts out there who would never even think of responding that way. I believe that I'm in your city, my friend, and I'd be happy to recommend some fantastic men who would never treat you like that.

[Guest RandyRon]

>Wow, these responses are all way too diplomatic. My thought

>is to tell him to fuck off and forget him. There are way too

>many good escorts out there who would never even think of

>responding that way. I believe that I'm in your city, my

>friend, and I'd be happy to recommend some fantastic men who

>would never treat you like that.

 

I second this response. There are many great escorts in Chicago, so cross him off and find someone else.

[Guest skrubber]

>Wow, these responses are all way too diplomatic. My thought

>is to tell him to fuck off and forget him. There are way too

>many good escorts out there who would never even think of

>responding that way. I believe that I'm in your city, my

>friend, and I'd be happy to recommend some fantastic men who

>would never treat you like that.

 

 

You are my new man!!!! Diplomacy only goes so far and the escorts response would have put an end to any diplomacy I would have been able to convey. Fuck off is a perfect response and I wish more people knew how to express such feelings.

[+ purplekow]

Diplomacy only goes so far and the

>escorts response would have put an end to any diplomacy I

>would have been able to convey. Fuck off is a perfect response

>and I wish more people knew how to express such feelings.

 

 

Well it seems to me that "fuck off" was indeed paraphrased here, and perhaps you are angered as it was the escort saying it. I think diplomacy is something we expect from others and barely tolerate from ourselves.

[Juan Vancouver]

Escorts are like elephants...

 

Hey man!

 

First of all, I am truly sorry about your loss. I now that there is absolutely nothing that I can say that will diminish the pain, but I rest assured that time will ease it a little. Receive a tight, warm, supportive hug.

 

Now, about your question,

 

Even if I agree with everyone about this escort having poor bussines and social skills, I would like to share with you the other side of the coin. I don't think this would alter the outcome with this escort, but perhaps would give you tools to maximize your dealing with us, rentboys.

 

A great friend and client once told me:

 

"A truly exceptional hooker MUST have two qualities at all times: He MUST have the worse imaginable memory... not being able to remember anything.... and he MUST have photographic memory, always being able to remember the smallest detail."

 

We have to forget... who you are if we meet you by accident at a restaurant, if a woman calls us demanding information about why you called us repeatedly, we have to forget your personal information that you inadvertedly mentioned, we have to forget small grievances we may have in our relationship and move on to keep enjoying fully...

 

But we MUST remember... what you like and what turns you on, the private details of your life that you have generously shared with us, the big or small kindnesses that you have had towards us, what makes you special, what you do for a living, anything that will allow us to strenghten the bond between you and us.

 

A truly good escort will need to see only your e-mail adress in his inbox and he will know who you are, how many times you have met, how easy or fun or challenging you are... or how many times you have written to make the same general inquiry without booking a session.

 

We specially remember the fruitless enquiries if they ask "hot" personal details such as "What are your fantasies?", "What kind of underwear you wear?", "Do you have brothers?", "At what age did you loose your virginity?" and so on. You get my drift.

 

Funnily enough, I could write a whole book based on the mails that I have received asking me about my speedos... I could definitely see why he would totally disregard your email after having dissapeared such a long time ago.

 

I would have dealt with the situation differently, but that's not your question. If you want to know my opinion, I would recommend that if you ever have to stop your communication with an escort abruptly, the next time that you contact him, months, or years after that, it would be good if you start your mail saying something like: "Hey, we contacted each other a while ago and I was very interested in meeting you, unfortunately situations out of my control prevented me to pursue this. However now I think I will have the chance to do so.... "

 

If you just pretend nothing happened, if you change your email adress but call from the same number, if you just change your name on the phone, it is very possible that if the escort finds out who you are he will black list you forever.

 

Remember that our ability to remember the bad experiences is not only preventing us to engage with time wasters, it could potentially save our lives.

 

I hope that by now you have moved to a different escort who will treat you politely and passionately.

 

And... I don't know where I was going when I started saying that escorts were like elephants... but it sure sounded good as a title.

 

Enjoy!

[Guest TBinCHI]

RE: Escorts are like elephants...

 

Juan raises some very valid points about the difficult position an escort can be in between having to forget things when people are inquiring about their clients and having to remember enough to either keep their clients happy or keep themselves safe. But, I don't think that either of those concerns are applicable here.

 

This client had several emails with the escort the second time around in which he explained about his sibling's illness and death and even apologized for not having booked an appointment earlier. The escort's response was to send the same snotty quote. In my opinion, the explanation and apology should have elicited some level of empathy. He still could have turned down the appointment, but should have done so with a little class. I happen to know how incredibly difficult it is to lose close family members, so I still think that "fuck off" is an appropriate response.

[Juan Vancouver]

"Fuck off!" certainly applies

 

Hey man,

 

I hope that it is clear from my post that I think this escort made some great mistakes, and showed absolute lack of profesionalism. There's no disagreeing here at all. As I said, my post is more geared towards possible future dealings with escorts. And how to tackle them to ensure that you are not sending any red flags to them.

 

I know how devastating it is to lose a family member, and again there's no disagreement there. What I am trying to share is how an escort's mind might work. So let me share this little story:

 

I have always been very lucky and have been stood up only twice in the past three years. In one case I never heard back from him. But the other guy called me two days after the appointment that was not honoured and then without apologyzing went to request if I was free that evening. (But escorts are like elephants, I remembered his voice and his phone number.) I politely mentioned that since he had not honoured a session before I would not be able to arrange another. He said very curtly:

 

"Dude, my mother died that night. You wouldn't expect me to visit a hooker then, would you?"

 

Truth is that I would not.

 

It struck me a little odd that he would be ready to meet a hooker just two days after that, but "Hey!" I thought, "we all grieve in different ways." So I was ready to grant him the benefit of the doubt, and I started to look for an opening so I could meet him. When I told him that I was booked that night but I could meet him the next day, he got all sketchy and rude and hung up. He never called back.

 

Something like three months later, Kevin, my duo partner went through the same ordeal and I happened to be there when he was on the phone and the guy asked for another session. Kevin (remembering him well) mentioned the missed appointment, and I was totally distraught when I found out that the guy's mother had died AGAIN! Life can be a bitch! ;(

 

 

The red flag this time was sent not by the tragic event, but the timing in which it was mentioned.

 

If he had called and said: "Hey, I am sorry I stood you up, unfortunately I had a horrible thing happened to me and I couldn't even call, but I would really like to meet you and make up for it and that's why I am caling now." It would have been entirely a different situation.

 

If he calls and says "Are you available tonight?" and just mentions his mother's passing away after he is confronted about a missed appointment, then it feels disrispectful and untrue.

 

 

 

Truth is that Gr8head had not booked a session and made no big mistakes in the way he dealt with the situation. Truth is the escort responded very poorly and fully deserves the "Fuck off!' treatment. But it is just possible that if he had been approached differently he may have understood the terrible tragedy Gr8head went through and would have not seen any red flags.

 

I am not here to condone the escort. I am just giving information that potentially could make your communication with escorts more fruitful.

 

I hope this helps.

 

My best (and dirtiest) wishes to you all!

[+ deej]

RE: "Fuck off!" certainly applies

 

>I was totally distraught when I found out that the guy's mother

>had died AGAIN! Life can be a bitch!

 

:7

 

There was an escort in Chicago several years ago that apparently had an emergency appendectomy THREE TIMES! One of these times they'll find it and remove it. ;-)

 

Great story!

[+ purplekow]

RE: "Fuck off!" certainly applies

 

>>I was totally distraught when I found out that the guy's

>mother

>>had died AGAIN! Life can be a bitch!

>

> :7

>

>I am surprised that on a gay forum that one would question a client with two mothers. Too bad that they both died in a short period of time. As far as the three appendices goes, well....