What to do about the passive escort

[jeddinger]

I have a situation where I could use some advice. I've been seeing an escort for several months now who is very passive.

 

I would like him to start taking the lead and initiating activites with me. He sort of does it now, but rather than telling me, or just doing it, he always asks me. His personality tends to be passive and polite.

 

So I'm wondering how to approach him and encourage him to take the lead and give me what I want without putting a damper on the sparks that fly when we are together or making him feel like he is not a good escort.

 

In other words, how do I light a fire under him? How do I approach it when we meet next? As an escort, how would you want to be told and what is the most effective and tactful way to handle it?

[Guest PWIT]

tell him you have a role play fantasy....give him a list of aggressive activities you like (don't expect all to be fulfilled - give him creative license)....make sure you tell him the fantasy starts before you even meet (i.e. being aggressive on the phone when communicating arrival plans, etc.) and the role playing doesn't end until after he has left.

 

above is just a suggestion, never done role play myself so I speak with no authority on the subject. I've ofter thought about it but not sure I could keep my end of the role play intact w/o bursting into laughter.

[Funseeker 22]

>I've ofter thought

>about it but not sure I could keep my end of the role play

>intact w/o bursting into laughter.

 

Sounds very familiar. I once experimented with a CL advertized Dom with a playroom who said he was was going to control me and I would obey. We met and he was 5.6 wearing rubber hotpants. I smiled. When he said that he had every Connie Francis album I just lost it.

Great Kisser though !.

 

;-) ;-)

[+ Tygerscent]

I say hire me.... let me in the door. I kiss you... look into your eyes and see what you need and we go from there. Always in my care, compassionate and giving that way, but not without the wild and natural masculinity that I will mark you with.

http://www.tygerscent.biz/Galleries.html

 

Tyger!

http://www.tygerscent.biz/Galleries.html

http://www.tygerscent.biz

503.317.8055

http://www.daddysreviews.com/area.php?loc=63150&who=tyger_portland

men4rentnow.com tygerscent in Portland, Oregon

[Juan Vancouver]

Sounds like a project

 

Hey Jeddinger,

 

I am a little surprised about your post. If you were talking about a boyfriend whith whom you are trying to spice things up a little, I would think that it is going to be hard for both of you, it's going to take work and discipline, but in the end it might work out and your boyfriend might grow to the challenge and connect with his dominant side...

 

But we are talking about an escort.

 

Wouldn't it be easier to fully appreciate him for what he can give you and try to find another hot guy (Namely TY) who will knock your socks off with his dominant, masculine, overpowering side?

 

You have tried with him;you have explained it to him, hinted, asked, suggested, but he doesn't seem to have it in him. For some people it is really difficult to connect with some elements in their sexuality, and it takes a lot of work to do so, and sometimes it is never possible at all.

 

Don't ask a perfectly delicious apple to be an orange. Since you are posting this, it is evident that you like him and that he is an excellent escort. He is just not a DOM escort.

 

Now answering the other question, when I am dealing with a client, the best approach to talk about something that can be done differently is directness and politeness. "You can go much harsher on my cock" "I love it when you kiss me this way" or "I love it when...." "Could you please...?"

 

Escorts are not boyfriends, and if you are polite there is no reason for you to avoid directness. A good escort will prefer you to be clear, rather than having a pouty, bored, unhappy client who answers "Fine" whenever the escort asks how things are going.

 

Hope this is helpful, and hope that you find a hot DOM escort soon.

 

Receive a tight hug... but... "Is it okay if I hug you?" :+

[jeddinger]

RE: Sounds like a project

 

Juan,

 

You can hug me anytime! That's why I want you to visit me on the East Coast...City of Brotherly Love.

 

I can see where you might be a bit suprised by my post. Perhaps I didn't provide enough background. I have since decided to move on and stop seeing this escort, whom I'd hoped would have become a regular.

 

For me he was the complete package physically and we had great chemistry in and out of bed. The purpose of my post was to preserve that relationship and still find a way to improve on it by helping him to be more interactive and sensitive to my needs. I met him just this week and he had become even more passive, so it's strike three as far as I am concerned. It's just not his style, so I need to respect that.

 

More and more I find myself hiring as much, if not more, for quality companionship than I do for sex. My ideal escort is someone who is both physically attractive and a great listener who is totally focused on me, genuinely interested in making me happy, enjoys our time together, and isn't afraid to initiate activities, even a suprise hug or kiss, bite on the neck, roll over on top of me. In a word, playful.

 

I have yet to meet one such escort in person, and am always looking for someone to meet on a regular basis.

 

I lead a very isolated life 99% of the time due to the nature of my career; escorts for me fill both a sexual and social void.

 

I'm not looking for dominance as much as I am reciprocity. I like to take the lead sometimes too...just not all the time.

[Louis]

RE: Sounds like a project

 

So really you are not after someone who is dominant...rather someone who will initiate things on their own without being asked. I think if an escort can't take the initiative on such rudimentary things as kissing and touching for example, then they are in the wrong business.

[jeddinger]

RE: Sounds like a project

 

I think if an escort can't take the initiative on such

>rudimentary things as kissing and touching for example, then

>they are in the wrong business.

>

 

Agreed. Which is why the one in question has lost mine. I estimate for 2007 that would have amounted to over 10K.

[Louis]

RE: Sounds like a project

 

Maybe he became an escort because he couldn't find a job that paid well. He may have had a bit of a "fire" at the begining, but I think if an escort is only out to make money, then they will end up like the one you have mentioned. When things become "mechanical" and emotions become none existant, there is no joy. Good escorts, like the several that post here, want to have a good time with their clients and actually get a great deal of satisfaction by giving their clients the best time of their lives...and that's why maybe the same dozen or so escorts are always talked about one these pages.....because they have high regards for their clients. We have a pretty good idea about the escorts who post here, and to me any one of them would make sure that you, as a client had a very memorable experience.

[Juan Vancouver]

I want to live there!

 

>That's why I want you to visit me on

>the East Coast...City of Brotherly Love.

 

 

Are you kidding me with this???

 

So far I have been happily living in Canada, but if there is indeed such a place, (The city of brotherly love) it is clear to me that I have been misplaced since birth and must move back right away.

 

I have been gigling for five minutes already...

 

All I can picture is two options: Either a Mormon settlement with blond gorgeous kids wearing ties and spreading The Word by day and indulging the flesh at night... or something out of the best Kristen Bjorn. (Now that I am thinking about it again, both options seem to merge into one hot, sweaty, sweet, holier than thou piece of fine porn.)

 

Now, I am happy to read that you have moved on and are still looking for the right escort for your needs. I really hope that you find him soon and have a great fun time. I totally agree that the most amazing thing about intimacy and being with someone else is knowing that you want him and he wants you. We all want other people for different reasons, but the desire, the urge, the iniciative must be there or it just feels like a rehearsed empty game.

 

So do receive another tight, affectionate hug, and consider these hugs a coupon to be cashed whenever you want.

 

.... The city of brotherly love.... Seriously! }( :7

[+ purplekow]

RE: I want to live there!

 

>>That's why I want you to visit me on

>>the East Coast...City of Brotherly Love.

>

>

>Are you kidding me with this???

>

>So far I have been happily living in Canada, but if there is

>indeed such a place, (The city of brotherly love) it is clear

>to me that I have been misplaced since birth and must move

>back right away.

>

>I have been gigling for five minutes already...

>

>All I can picture is two options: Either a Mormon settlement

>with blond gorgeous kids wearing ties and spreading The Word

>by day and indulging the flesh at night... or something out of

>the best Kristen Bjorn. (Now that I am thinking about it

>again, both options seem to merge into one hot, sweaty, sweet,

>holier than thou piece of fine porn.)

>

 

Juan City of Brotherly Love is nickname for Philadelphia but god knows why. Although there have been a few men with whom I would consider being brotherly in Philly and some with whom I would consider being down right incestuous.

>Now, I am happy to read that you have moved on and are still

>looking for the right escort for your needs. I really hope

>that you find him soon and have a great fun time. I totally

>agree that the most amazing thing about intimacy and being

>with someone else is knowing that you want him and he wants

>you. We all want other people for different reasons, but the

>desire, the urge, the iniciative must be there or it just

>feels like a rehearsed empty game.

>

>So do receive another tight, affectionate hug, and consider

>these hugs a coupon to be cashed whenever you want.

>

>.... The city of brotherly love.... Seriously! }( :7

>

>

[+ deej]

RE: I want to live there!

 

>>That's why I want you to visit me on

>>the East Coast...City of Brotherly Love.

>

>Are you kidding me with this???

>

>So far I have been happily living in Canada, but if there is

>indeed such a place, (The city of brotherly love) it is clear

>to me that I have been misplaced since birth and must move

>back right away.

 

Juan, darling, many American cities have slogans/nicknames.

 

New York is "the Big Apple". Chicago is "the Windy City" (which has nothing to do with the wind). Sometimes these nicknames are given upon them, and sometimes they are self-appointed.

 

Philadelphia is "City of Brotherly Love".

 

The nickname never made me want to visit. ;-)

[jeddinger]

RE: I want to live there!

 

Juan,

Your response has made me kinda feel like an idiot for showing an interest and for posting something in the MC that was very personal to me. :-(

Jason

[Lookin]

RE: I want to live there!

 

Jason, excuse my butting in, but I’m sure Juan wasn’t trying to poke fun at you or Philadelphia. It’s not his style. And you’ll probably agree that the first time a gay man hears about a City of Brotherly Love, it does bring to mind all kinds of humorous and erotic fantasies. I’m sure William Penn would have appreciated the sense of liberty it implies.

 

When Penn founded Pennsylvania in the 1680’s, he intended it to be a place of freedom and religious tolerance, with all citizens living in peace and harmony. Its capital city, Philadelphia, was to be a model of that philosophy; and its name comes from the Greek words philos (loving) and adelphos (brother). And 300 years later, it still is a place that celebrates freedom and tolerance.

 

I grew up near Philadelphia and, when I came out, I made a beeline for the city to get some firsthand experience with my “loving brothers”, many of whom hung out at Rittenhouse Square. And if Juan had been there handing out hugs and coupons, I’d have done my very best to ring his Liberty Bell, crack and all.

 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7a/Libertybell_alone_small.jpg

[+ Charlie]

RE: I want to live there!

 

I agree with Lookin: since Juan is not from the US, I suspect he never heard the term "City of Brotherly Love," which does sound like a corny come-on. I lived in Philadelphia for many years, so I am aware how overlooked the city is nowadays by the rest of the world, often perceived as just a gray dot between NYC and DC. Most younger gays, for instance, are unaware that Philadelphia had a very active gay rights movement years before Stonewall, with organizations, demonstrations, and a nationally distributed magazine (Drum). As an escort destination, it gets lost between the two more glamorous cities.

[Juan Vancouver]

(But I still want to live there)

 

Hey Jason,

 

I am a little surprised by your response. I have to confess that I would have never thought that my post would be taken in such a different way than it was intended. As other posters already suspected, I had never heard the city's nickname before, and I did laugh for a few minutes, not at you, but because of the lustful images that the name ellicited in my dirty mind. Only now it downed on me that brotherly love is just the meaning of the world in greek.

 

I am sorry you felt laughed at. That's not a fun feeling at all. I can imagine that perhaps you have a lot of pride on your city and don't want to have people making fun of it. And if it serves for anything, do know that my populating it with imaginary naked mormon boys mindlessly pleasing each other is more of an hommage than anything.

 

And sure, I was joking, but if there was such a place... I would certainly love to live there! :9 (I guess it was my obscure way to be thankful for your interest and accept the invitation.)

 

Now, about your escort and your choice of keep looking for another that better suits your needs, I hope that you fully realize that I agree with you. It IS important to be desired, it is important to know that the person one is with (even if he is professional company) will initiate things, have initiative, want to have fun as much as you do.

 

Do know that my intention was never to make fun of you, and know that I am truly sorry that you felt bad. My hugs, however, are still cashable whenever (If ever) our paths cross.

 

For the third time, I send you a tight hug and my hope that you will see that my intention was only playful. Not hurtful

 

Sincerely,

 

Juan

 

 

 

 

P.S. Still, all morning long I have been having flashes of apparently random images:

 

Several piles of clothes neatly folded in a corner of a room, with one dark sober tie on top of each pile.

 

A perfectly white, peachy-fuzzed bum softly caressed by a white hand.

 

Equally blond, blue-eyed young men, childishly playing with each other.

 

A beautiful freckled face in blissful, mystic-like trance.

 

All of the above, knocking at my door...

[+ Lucky]

RE: Hugs!

 

Well I don't see you as an idiot for your post, jeddinger. Hopefully you will see that Juan meant no harm. He is truly one of the nicest guys here, escort or not, so I hope you can see his remark for the lighthearted spirit in which it was offered.

[Guest zipperzone]

RE: I want to live there!

 

>And if Juan had been there handing out hugs and

>coupons, I’d have done my very best to ring his Liberty Bell,

>crack and all.

>

>http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7a/Libertybell_alone_small.jpg

 

Is this really the time and place to have a discussion about Juan's crack?

[Lookin]

RE: I want to live there!

 

I personally can't think of a bad time or place but, hey, that's just me.

[Juan Vancouver]

RE: I want to live there!

 

>Is this really the time and place to have a discussion about

>Juan's crack?

 

 

I feel a little exposed....

 

http://85.158.9.33/newphotos/15/49/1557649_178109.jpg

[+ deej]

RE: I want to live there!

 

But we like you that way.

[jeddinger]

RE: Hugs!

 

All is well. I forgot Juan was from BC and assumed everyone knew that was Philly's nickname. Guess now might be a bad time to bring up "Love" park in Philly.

 

Well Tuesday evening I'm off to meet some new boys in the hopes of finding one who meets my needs, as discussed previously on this thread. Let the adventure begin...wish me luck!

 

And Juan, I've got those hug coupons neatly tucked away on my person...if we ever meet, it will be your first order of business to find them and redeem them. :9