Anyone feel like a lot of providers are rude via text?

[arnemgreeves]

3 hours ago, coriolis888 said:

Your post implies that perhaps you are not aware of the rudeness many escorts display to potential clients. 

I am puzzled why you would defend such rude and inconsiderate behavior (calling potential clients "time waters" without cause).   

You said that clients "should learn how to engage with escorts properly via text."  

Where and how would clients learn "how to "properly" engage with escorts, to quote you?

That above post from you causes me to wonder about your motivation for defending escorts who abuse potential clients by calling them "time wasters" while most potential clients are not.  

Regardless of the occupation, if an independent worker expects to gain and retain clients, the first rule of behavior is to be civil to a potential client.  

An escort starting off by ignoring a clients' message and/or blaming that client for being a "time waster" when there was little to no contact between the client and prospective provider is difficult to fathom.  

Ignoring a potential client or immediately calling the client a "time waster" because the client wants to know what to expect during a meeting with the provider is inappropriate, in my opinion and in the opinion of countless others who have been unjustifiably branded a "time waster". 

Variety is such a great and sometimes puzzling thing.  

I’m not defending anything. I dunno what your issue is, really. 

[arnemgreeves]

I’m offering an explanation of why escorts may be rude. 

[Jamie21]

4 hours ago, DynamicUno said:

It's funny, I don't seem to get rude responses by text very often.  I do tend to open with saying I saw their ad on RM and when I'm looking to arrange a session (and the neighborhood, if I'm visiting a place).

I'll also tend to ask about their rate in the first or second message because I prefer to get that out of the way and most guys don't have a separate website. I feel it signals I want to get the arrangement settled quickly and be certain we're on the same page about the compensation.

If you feel that availability times and rates are a sign that an inquirer is not serious, what kind of questions do you feel are a better indication?

 

It’s by experience. My rate and availability times are easily found - it’s on the website. If a potential client has looked there, seen what I’m about and most likely had all his basic questions answered by what’s written on there then he’s more likely to book. 

Whereas if he’s just found my number somewhere (it’s on lots of places even where I haven’t advertised because these sites just find numbers of guys who do this kind of work and add them to their directory to make it look busy and attract paying advertisers) or if he’s not looked beyond page 1 of my website then it’s more likely he won’t follow through with booking.

Example texts I get:

”Hi, I want a girl for tonight, my hotel”. This punter thinks I’m an agency. Ignore. 

”I’m a student, what’s your best rate?” This one hasn’t read that I don’t do student rates. “Sorry I don’t discount”.

”Your videos have got me screaming Wow every sec of the way through. Tonites my best nite. Had to give Head for a gram in the office toilets and its gd stuff i can get more for us?” That one is one of my favourites…. one of many examples where the client is drunk or high when they contact me. Ignore. 

“Hi do you do massage?” That’s obviously someone who has found my number on a list of workers….and often the conversation reveals they expect me to be female…(I guess my name could be female too) and when they discover I’m a guy…it’s my fault and I get shade. Those guys are actually worth being rude to: I tell them guys give a better bj so he should try it out 😂.

”Hi I’m at a hotel on 23rd and 5th downtown Indianapolis. Are you free later tonight?” He believes I’m in some  US city (swap Indianapolis for AN Orher place). God knows how he thinks that. “I’m in London, England, sorry”. I could add that if Concorde still flew I might be able to make it but my outcall rate for outside of London includes travel costs….

So you see, lots of questions get asked that obviously aren’t going anywhere. They get a short, polite, response, some get instantly blocked. 

 

 

[Jamie21]

5 hours ago, DynamicUno said:

what kind of questions do you feel are a better indication?

Sorry, I didn’t answer that question in my last reply did I (ironic 😂).

Likelihood of him actually booking questions start with:

“Hi Jamie, I looked at your site, it’s great but I’d like to ask do you do xxxx?” or “…would you do out call to xxxx” or “I’m discreet, can I pay by cash / is your studio private etc”.

Questions where he has gone beyond deciding to go ahead but he wants to check some detail are likely to result in a booking and so get a more engaged response. 

Messages like this:  “Hi Jamie I’d like to book a 90m session with you at 3pm next Tuesday please, I’ll pay by card. Thanks Bob” will get a prompt reply with confirmation, address & directions and an invitation to ask any questions or make any specific requests. Ideal 🙂
 

 

 

[+ Coolwave35]

2 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Questions where he has gone beyond deciding to go ahead but he wants to check some detail are likely to result in a booking and so get a more engaged response. 

Here is my first message to you that resulted in a fabulous booking, and a kind response. 
 

Hello hello!  I’ve wanted a session with you for ages and can finally get to London. Do you have availability the weekend of December 9-11?  I’d prefer the Saturday or Sunday morning. I’m staying at the Baglioni hotel in Kensington.  Would you mind helping me navigate to you by walking or with the tube? 
 

lastly, I couldn’t figure out how to what’s app you. Could you start a conversation with me at. Thanks so much! 

On a side note, I’ve been using my British airways cc to earn points to come back sooner. 

Edited January 30, 2023 by Coolwave35

[Jamie21]

24 minutes ago, Coolwave35 said:

Here is my first message to you that resulted in a fabulous booking, and a kind response. 
 

Hello hello!  I’ve wanted a session with you for ages and can finally get to London. Do you have availability the weekend of December 9-11?  I’d prefer the Saturday or Sunday morning. I’m staying at the Baglioni hotel in Kensington.  Would you mind helping me navigate to you by walking or with the tube? 
 

lastly, I couldn’t figure out how to what’s app you. Could you start a conversation with me at. Thanks so much! 

On a side note, I’ve been using my British airways cc to earn points to come back sooner. 

You’re a fabulous client @Coolwave35 🙂. Keep spending on your BA cc!!! 
 

[+ nycman]

59 minutes ago, Coolwave35 said:

I’m staying at the Baglioni hotel in Kensington.  Would you mind helping me navigate to you by walking or with the tube? 

@Coolwave35 Thank you for helping me find a new hotel in London. 
It looks lovely, and almost reasonable by London standards. 
You don’t know how to navigate the Tube?….that’s so cute!
If you ever need a guide, I’m happy to jump the pond and assist.
London has been and will always be my favorite NYC suburb.

[Jamie21]

26 minutes ago, nycman said:

You don’t know how to navigate the Tube?….that’s so cute!

On the tube there is only one rule to remember. Stand on the right of the escalator. NEVER stand on the left or you’ll look like a foreigner, you’ll get tutted at and told to move. 

[+ Pensant]

When I was at my Seattle area place for a month I tried out 3 new providers. The first was fine, but not enough to see again. The second didn’t do much for me and the third was a a pleasant texter but showed up in a bad mood, immediately stifling my libido and buoying my spirits after he left without me wanting to touch him, although he was compensated as agreed.

Back home now, I’m eagerly anticipating tonight’s session with a new provider, since one of my long-time favorites has moved to Arizona and hasn’t had an ad in five years. Just received a few texts: “Today is the day!” and “my priority is making sure you have a memorable experience”. What an antidote for the occasional rude or monosyllabic text!

Edited January 30, 2023 by Pensant

[Todd Jenkins]

9 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

”Hi I’m at a hotel on 23rd and 5th downtown Indianapolis. Are you free later tonight?” He believes I’m in some  US city (swap Indianapolis for AN Orher place). God knows how he thinks that. “I’m in London, England, sorry”. I could add that if Concorde still flew I might be able to make it but my outcall rate for outside of London includes travel costs….

This is a VERY common occurrence and how you, the provider, responds tells me all I need to know about you. MANY times I have messaged a provider because I DID see that he was listed as being in my city. If a provider is curt with me when he informs me he is not in my city, I won't hire him, EVER. It takes the SAME amount of energy to be nice as it does to be rude. A very simple 'Hey there. Not sure where you saw my ad but I am currently in _____. But, hey, you never know when I will be back in the area. Keep a watch on my travel schedule and feel free to shoot me a text again. Would love to make a meeting happen!'

You can easily put this on a notes doc and reply.

One time, I messaged a provider and said "I see you are in my city, _____. Would love to see about possibly setting up an appt."
Provider writes back: "Where did you see that I am in ____?"
Me: "attaches screenshot"
Provider: "That's so weird. I haven't been there since ____. Thanks for telling me, I will fix that."

See how easy it was to be nice?

Now, same scenario happened with another provider...
ME: "I see you are in my city, _____. Would love to see about possibly setting up an appt."
PROVIDER: "Wrong, not there."
ME: "attaches screenshot"
PROVIDER: "Not there."
ME: "Will you be here soon or not at all?"
PROVIDER: "I just said I'm not there."
ME: "Sorry, just like your profile and think it would be fun to hangout. The profile said you were in town. Didn't mean to bug ya, sorry"
PROVIDER: "I was thinking about coming so I put my ad there for a few days. But not enough business."
ME: "Oh, ok. Well if you had said THAT in the beginning, I wouldn't have bothered you."
PROVIDER: "OK, I dont have time to text all damn day"
ME: ((note to self, NEVER HIRE THIS GUY!"

 

Edited January 30, 2023 by Todd Jenkins

[Jamie21]

9 minutes ago, Todd Jenkins said:

This is a VERY common occurrence and how you, the provider, responds tells me all I need to know about you. MANY times I have messaged a provider because I DID see that he was listed as being in my city. If a provider is curt with me when he informs me he is not in my city, I won't hire him, EVER. It takes the SAME amount of energy to be nice as it does to be rude. A very simple 'Hey there. Not sure where you saw my ad but I am currently in _____. But, hey, you never know when I will be back in the area. Keep a watch on my travel schedule and feel free to shoot me a text again. Would love to make a meeting happen!'

You can put this on a notes doc and reply easily. 

 

I never travel to other cities. I’m never listed in other cities. I’m not even on the same Continent as him! My RentMasseur advert always says “London”…..So if someone sends me a message like that my response “I’m in London, sorry” is I think totally reasonable. 

[TT3690]

I think a lot of it boils down to the purpose of communication. Many escorts only want to be contacted when the client is ready to book, while many clients see communication as another source of information to determine potential compatibility and whether it's a good "investment".

[NJF]

1 hour ago, TT3690 said:

I think a lot of it boils down to the purpose of communication. Many escorts only want to be contacted when the client is ready to book, while many clients see communication as another source of information to determine potential compatibility and whether it's a good "investment".

I understand the thought process for a lot of clients who want to do “research” before making a “commitment”. However, I personally don’t do it for several reasons. I have a general parameter of what I am looking for. I only contact a provider after screening for fake ads and safety checks. I only ask for availability for the time window that I am free. The satisfaction level of an encounter really depends on the chemistry, which no amount of “research” can truly predict. There are also more fun in exploring and experimenting.

[coriolis888]

3 minutes ago, NJF said:

The satisfaction level of an encounter really depends on the chemistry, which no amount of “research” can truly predict. 

So very true!

[Todd Jenkins]

6 minutes ago, NJF said:

The satisfaction level of an encounter really depends on the chemistry, which no amount of “research” can truly predict. There are also more fun in exploring and experimenting.

True, to a certain extent. However, if a provider is unwilling to spend a few minutes of just basic interaction before i spend a few hundred, I don't want to hire that person. 

[DWnyc]

In an ideal world both sides would have equal respect for the other.

Clients wouldn’t think they “own” a provider who must show eternal gratitude as they are so generous to engage them.

Providers wouldn’t think they are rescuing desperate people who have no other options either with other providers or in “real life”.

Part of this whole discussion is about the likely 90%+ instances where that equal respect isn’t actually there - on one or both sides as well as the business reality of making a sale in a competitive market with options. Clients and providers both need to understand they are not irreplaceable to the other.

I’ve met great providers where I’ve felt something close to empathy when they’ve described frustrations with clients - I’ve also met those who are arrogant, narcissistic, prejudiced, not to mention very short sighted (from a business perspective) in how they interact with clients. 

No right answer here - people are people and always will be. 

 

[coriolis888]

3 hours ago, DWnyc said:

 

I’ve met great providers where I’ve felt something close to empathy when they’ve described frustrations with clients - I’ve also met those who are arrogant, narcissistic, prejudiced, not to mention very short sighted (from a business perspective) in how they interact with clients. 

No right answer here - people are people and always will be. 

 

Rudyard Kipling had the correct approach when he wrote East is East and West is West. 

Thus, it is a waste of time to try to convert escorts to your views.

Some providers/escorts are rude and difficult while others are not.  That is just the way it is.  

[coriolis888]

17 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

I’m not defending anything. I dunno what your issue is, really. 

[TorontoDrew]

The only rudeness I have ever experienced from an escort is ignoring a message I have sent and that I've seen they read. Other than that it's always been polite and friendly.

 

[Boink]

56 minutes ago, TorontoDrew said:

The only rudeness I have ever experienced from an escort is ignoring a message I have sent and that I've seen they read. Other than that it's always been polite and friendly.

 

Same here. I'd rather have a curt "not interested" reply than no reply at all.

[AngusStevensxxx]

As a provider I can say this - we receive MANY MANY MANY messages daily and very few from actual clients and there are a few ways for us to spot the time wasters and fakes - I have spent 8 hours in one day interacting with fakes. 

 

1. they have not read the stats in our profile.  "How big are you? Where in the city are you? Do you host or do in calls? Do you top?" 

All of this information is listed on my profile - by asking this it shows me you have not bothered to read it why means you are not serious. If I am spending this amounts of money I would read the profile.  its a HUGE red flag. you will get a short reply "Check the details on my profile!" 

 

2. Asking what city am I in.  This drives me crazy - when traveling the RM site LISTS THE DATES. I like to advertise 2 weeks before I travel to a city - but people do not bother to even look at the travel dates when clicking the profile.  often I will put "DC - 3rd/4th/5th" and people will message and then we go to lock in address and it is in DC and it is the 1st and I am in NYC. 

 

3. Messaging asking "What are you into?"   when you are contacting a provider and you are paying for a service - you should be telling us what YOU are into.  I enjoy a WIDE range of activities and am very sexual - that's why I do this job! I do not have the time to list *EVERY* thing that turns me on.  Tell us what you are looking for so we can save you time as well. 

 

4. Rates?  the amount if times you get a one two word message is really shocking.  you will get a more attentive reply with "Hi there- saw you add on RM, was wondering about your rates? Im interested!" instead of 'Rates?" 

 

The BEST first messages have a few things in them - 

 

 include your name. That you saw our add on rentmen. briefly say what you are looking for, and rough estimate of time you are looking for, where you are located if it is an incall you are wanting.  SIMPLE! 

 

For eg. Hello Angus, I hope you are well. I saw your profile on Rentmen. I am in lower east side, and am looking for a bottom who likes to kiss. Is there a time you are available tonight, and what are your outcall rates?

 

This shows me that you have seen are looking for something and it matches my profile. gives me a time, a place, and a name. It will grab my attention. 

[coriolis888]

55 minutes ago, AngusStevensxxx said:

As a provider I can say this - we receive MANY MANY MANY messages daily and very few from actual clients and there are a few ways for us to spot the time wasters and fakes - I have spent 8 hours in one day interacting with fakes. 

 

1. they have not read the stats in our profile.  "How big are you? Where in the city are you? Do you host or do in calls? Do you top?" 

All of this information is listed on my profile - by asking this it shows me you have not bothered to read it why means you are not serious. If I am spending this amounts of money I would read the profile.  its a HUGE red flag. you will get a short reply "Check the details on my profile!" 

 

2. Asking what city am I in.  This drives me crazy - when traveling the RM site LISTS THE DATES. I like to advertise 2 weeks before I travel to a city - but people do not bother to even look at the travel dates when clicking the profile.  often I will put "DC - 3rd/4th/5th" and people will message and then we go to lock in address and it is in DC and it is the 1st and I am in NYC. 

 

3. Messaging asking "What are you into?"   when you are contacting a provider and you are paying for a service - you should be telling us what YOU are into.  I enjoy a WIDE range of activities and am very sexual - that's why I do this job! I do not have the time to list *EVERY* thing that turns me on.  Tell us what you are looking for so we can save you time as well. 

 

4. Rates?  the amount if times you get a one two word message is really shocking.  you will get a more attentive reply with "Hi there- saw you add on RM, was wondering about your rates? Im interested!" instead of 'Rates?" 

 

The BEST first messages have a few things in them - 

 

 include your name. That you saw our add on rentmen. briefly say what you are looking for, and rough estimate of time you are looking for, where you are located if it is an incall you are wanting.  SIMPLE! 

 

For eg. Hello Angus, I hope you are well. I saw your profile on Rentmen. I am in lower east side, and am looking for a bottom who likes to kiss. Is there a time you are available tonight, and what are your outcall rates?

 

This shows me that you have seen are looking for something and it matches my profile. gives me a time, a place, and a name. It will grab my attention. 

Lots of rules - 

[Todd Jenkins]

2 hours ago, AngusStevensxxx said:

As a provider I can say this - we receive MANY MANY MANY messages daily and very few from actual clients and there are a few ways for us to spot the time wasters and fakes - I have spent 8 hours in one day interacting with fakes. 

 

@AngusStevensxxx, When you say you recieve 'MANY MANY MANY messages daily,' how many would you say you recieve? 10, 20, 100? 

 

2 hours ago, AngusStevensxxx said:

1. they have not read the stats in our profile.  "How big are you? Where in the city are you? Do you host or do in calls? Do you top?" 

 

Sometimes the platform rent.men doesn't allow you to see all the stats - depending which version of the site you are on.

 

2 hours ago, AngusStevensxxx said:

2. Asking what city am I in.  This drives me crazy - when traveling the RM site LISTS THE DATES.

This is GREAT that you do that. But, I have also encountered providers who just list random cities or they are no longer in the city they're listed in. I can't TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I have texted a provider "HEY! WOW! I love your look. I can't believe you're in my city, _____. Would love to set up some time with you. What's your availability?" Provider texts back: "Not there." Me: Sends screenshot. Provider: "Yeah, I WAS there but left yesterday" or "Yeah, I was thinking of coming, but not enough inquiries."

So, as much as this "drives you crazy," you can see why a potential client would ask what city were you in, ESPECIALLY, if like me, they have gone through the above in the past. 

A nice reply (that you could save in a notes app) would be "Hey there. Thanks for the message. All cities / dates are listed in my profile and they are updated regularly. Can't wait to see if we can arrange a time. Looking forward to hearing from you." See, same message, different approach than being PUT OFF that someone wants to spend hundreds of dollars to spend time with you. 
 

The rest of your points, I agree with. 

 

Edited January 31, 2023 by Todd Jenkins

[coriolis888]

On 1/30/2023 at 1:46 AM, Jamie21 said:

It’s by experience. My rate and availability times are easily found - it’s on the website. If a potential client has looked there, seen what I’m about and most likely had all his basic questions answered by what’s written on there then he’s more likely to book. 

 

A large portion of rentmen clients are not in a country where rates are allowed. 

Therefore, for you, it is fine but for the mass majority, a client must ask the rate.  

[+ azdr0710]

welcome to the forum @AngusStevensxxx  .....it's the best forum of its kind, but please don't take it (or the forum members) too seriously around here!......looking forward to your participation here......