Is escorting really traumatic for men?

[Rudynate]

On 12/29/2022 at 2:10 PM, nycboi said:

I've heard it's traumatic for women but I don't know about gay men. It looks to me that most tend to enjoy it. 

 

It isn't a business for thin-skinned people.  

[Keenan]

47 minutes ago, Calix_V2 said:

I can definitely see how the business can be traumatic, and tragic for some people who don't have a good head on their shoulder or any mentors to help them navigate the industry as a whole.  

Having experience dancing in clubs (Canada and U.S.), live events in addition to private client sessions, I've seen the greenest of boys join the ranks of "escort" only to flush their lives down the toilet with drugs, regrets and no direction in their lives.

I was one of the lucky ones, I had mentors who were regulars at the Gaiety pulling in ridiculous cash who, just as I was getting into escorting, were getting out to pursue business ventures, some with clients they built relationships with.  I had these guys to help figure out the industry which was a huge bonus. I never got into the drugs, it seemed counter-productive from a business standpoint, both in club and with clients. I suppose age matters but again, if you're armed with a solid network of veteran providers, it mitigates any potential issues regardless of age.

Question to those providers reading this: Have you ever been contacted by a green provider looking for advice?

I always am open to working with younger green providers and have been contacted by some.  After my own experiences I want to make sure they know how to stay safe and avoid being in harmful situations.  As I have learned in this industry some customers unfortunately see escorts more as a commodity or object to do what they want and will unfortunately take things into their own hands.  I learned from having a drink with a client, passing out and then waking up to being restrained and barebacked as I stated above.  I feel it's important to make sure that those coming in are safe.

[socurious]

2 hours ago, Rudynate said:

It isn't a business for thin-skinned people.  

Why? Elaborate.

[socurious]

1 hour ago, Keenan said:

You are right about that.

Please elaborate.

[CuriousByNature]

On 1/1/2023 at 6:12 PM, nycboi said:

That almost sounds like a rape.

That is definitely rape.  I'm very sorry to hear that happened to you, @Keenan.   

[spidir]

On 1/7/2023 at 9:18 PM, Vulgarii said:

A male stripper interviewed on the YouTube channel Soft White Underbelly and he said women hate being exploited but men love it.

There was an attempt to ruffie me, which I escaped from, and being groped and fondled without my consent was neve fun, but I have legit PTSD and anxiety over different reasons.

I like being exploited and watched and violated but only by men I'm attracted to. After being a provider for so long I am very strict with the body types and smells and ages that I like. I have seen and experienced so many that I just won't compromise. I'm traumatized too in the way with how bad clients smell or how fvcking annoying they are. I hate being irritated and cannot stand being around certain people after a certain amount of time. That's after years of tolerating annoying and weird people who just took advantage of my time and kindness. I've traveled overseas with clients, went to the opera, post office, airport, to a catholic mass, and took them to doctors appointments, LOL and just had enough.

Also, constantly talking to clients that are lonely and sad and desperately need affection got fvcking old and cringey and that wasn't what I did, nor wanted to deal with no matter the amount of money. So I have anxiety when I perceive someone as a pity case. Ouch.

I really grieved when I learned that clients of mine died because they were father figures to me. I grieved for years that so many clients were so lonely and sad despite being successful, rich, and good looking and I didn't know how to help them, nor avoid turning out like them.

It sucked too to really enjoy seeing some regular clients over the years and then they drop off the face of the Earth and move on with their husbands, or got too paranoid over the pandemic.  It sucked to learn that I'm into different than a barber or accountant. This is a business and customers will eventually look elsewhere especially because they are males, and us males love variety and fresh meat, mo matter how good the husband/wife/mistress/provider is.  So it su led to really miss some clients that I got to know over the years.

I warn young men who come off as slutty in general to be very careful and take it slow because they will ruin their ability to pairbond and they can never really repair it once they cross that line. 

Someone told me, "you only have a few chances for monogamy. After 100 dicks you can't be monogamous."

A lot of men these days seem to be open to having open relationships but there still are a lot of men that aren't.

So there's a lot of different forms of trauma and different reasons to be traumatized and it's not just rape and assault that can cause it.

Thank you for sharing your experience and caring for others. You can't help lonely and sad men that desperately need affection if it traumatizes you. The providers that can do so are worth their weight in gold.

[Rod Hagen]

The simple idea of being intimate with "whomever" is a big YUCK for a lot of people.  And so to people who don't partake, this business seems at best sordid, and at worst nearly a war crime.  

For that reason, it's not uncommon for escorts at some point to begin to second guess what they did in the past, or what they are doing now.  People will exclaim, "how can you do something like that?!" They'll compare it to abuse and even rape and it's only because they can't imagine doing it themselves.  If you're not resilient sufficiently you might just start seeing your escort life as they see it, as a traumatic life.

 

[arnemgreeves]

On 12/29/2022 at 10:14 PM, cany10011 said:

I think the men i see enjoy the money… only one guy that I met has expressed his regret or has to work on issues that preclude him for further escort work. 

It’s never that black or white