Providers who bottom - how to be a safe dom top?

[glycine]

i sometimes get the urge to be a top, but when i top i like to be really dom/rough/mean/a bit violent. ive had past relationships where the bottom told me later on that he thought it was a bit too much and didnt enjoy it - even though we had VERY clearly set boundaries, he said he wanted to impress me/be a "good boy" and not tell me to stop - which obviously made me feel VERY bad because i would never want to hurt anyone. 

I would be even more nervous if I hurt a provider, with the financial aspect to add on top, so ive only ever been with one sub provider, which proved to be way more vanilla than i was hoping. how can i change this and find a good sub that i can abuse, and who enjoys it? ahaha

[+ nycman]

It’s a tuff call. While I enjoy being very dominant and
aggressive, it’s a scene that can easily go astray. In general,
I’m pretty vanilla on the first appointment. If I feel the 
chemistry is right, I might be a little more aggressive on 
the 2nd or 3rd date. Even then, I make sure I understand 
his boundaries and make sure he’s got a safe word to use. 

If he’s panting, covered in sweat, exhausted, laying on my 
chest and begging for more after the 3rd engagement….then
yeah, we’re good to go. If not, it’s probably best to move on.