Family.....

[seaboy4hire]

I was wondering. Does anyones family know that they are escorts? If they do how did they take the news? And what would your advice be if an escort was wanting to tell their family?

 

Hugs,

Greg

Greg Seattle Wa seaboy4hire@yahoo.com

http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/gregseattle.html http://briefcase.yahoo.com/seaboy4hire

[theDCeBOY]

wrong forum, but... no. my immediate family is either dead or estranged. the others don't know.

[bluenix]

> my immediate family is either dead or >estranged.

 

Tell us about the estranged members of your family, please.

[theDCeBOY]

>Tell us about the estranged members of your family, please.

what do you wish to know?

[bluenix]

>>Tell us about the estranged members of your family, please.

>

>what do you wish to know?

 

Who is estranged and why?

[theDCeBOY]

>Who is estranged and why?

i have two sisters. my father and i have never really gotten along, so we had no contact for a while before his death. my mother and i ended contact before she died. my mother was very controuling and my sisters and i did not remain in contact. i last saw/spoke to them after i identified her body and went to confirm our mother's death to them. since they couldn't be bothered to stay in touch with me while she was alive--for fear of upsetting her, i presume--i had no desire to re-establish contact after she was killed.

[Trixie]

Greg, although I'm not an escort, I feel that no matter how good your relations are with your family, and no matter how accepting they might be of your sexuality, it's probably not a good idea to tell them you're a prostitute. (Unless you come from a family of prostitutes, but then I would assume they expect it of you.)

Some families can be understanding and supportive of just about anything. However, that doesn't necessarily mean you should involve them in every aspect of your life. I really don't see a way that they could feel anything but uncomfortable and sad with the news. But then, I can't say that I know them.

Rosalie Sorrels, an american icon of a folk singer, wrote alot about being a mother. In fact, one of her motherhood-oriented albums was titled

"There are Some Things I do Not Wish to Know, Some Things I Cannot Bear to See..."

Perhaps, think about that line before you approach them.

Trix

[giovoni]

My mom knows about when I was an escort and that TJ still does it. She has never judged me or the people I've been with in any light but acceptance. When I told her she pretty much knew all the reasons. I'm very sexual, the hours are good, I can control when I work and not have it get in the way of school. If anything she was happy and proud that I found a way to manage my time in a way that let me live up to all of my obligations and still left me happy and not closer to burning out then I would have been in some other mainstream job. I'm certain that a majority of peoples family members would not behave this way though and you should be very careful and very confident of your family's reaction before you say anything.. The very easy answer to anything your family will judge you by be it your sexual orientation or your job is "have you tried not doing it" In the case of being an escort is is absolutely a choice that must be defended. If you don't have people around you that are open to be convinced then it's better left unsaid I would imagine.

 

Gio in Denver

[Guest jeffOH]

>I was wondering. Does anyones family know that they are

>escorts?

 

Yes, my parents and my 2 brothers/2 sisters all know...everything.

 

>If they do how did they take the news?

 

Well, the whole Gay Hooker thing pushed some of them over the edge. I wasn't surprised because of how they'd responded to my coming out at 19. It's different though telling your parents you're a prostitute. IT IS a choice, or at least it was for me. My youngest brother and sister, who happen to live here in Columbus, are the only family with whom I have fairly regular contact. I saw my mother last December. Prior to that it had been 7 years. I spoke to my father about 2 years ago. I was fucked up on Demerol from gum surgery and decided it was time to call him up and tell him I was a hooker, apparently he was the last to know. At that point it had been 6 years since I'd seen him and I have yet to see him or talk to him since the drugged-out phone confession.

 

>And what would

>your advice be if an escort was wanting to tell their family?

 

I told my family I was a prostitute because when I was an alcoholic, I was also a pathological liar. I wanted to please everyone. I wanted to be liked. I was looking for validation outside of myself. I realized most people around me were responding to the Facade I'd created through tangled web of lies. In the process of telling all these lies or MERELY witholding the Truth, I realized my "friends" and family were loving something False. I was afraid to be ME.

 

I quit drinking in '88 as a result of the collapse of the House of Cards I'd built. It took me a while to find out who I was. Getting honest with yourself is the 1st step. I found that people would like me when I was just being ME. The Sickle of Truth can really help weed out those who love you for you and those who loved the Facade you'd presented. I found Unconditional Love that I'd never really experienced.

 

So, Greg, I guess it depends upon how you want to live your life and whether or not you think you can handle any potential fallout. For me, there was some short-term emotional pain, but the long-term benefits make it more than worth it. I have more loving, close relationships with my Chosen Family than I ever had with any of my birth family.

 

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best!

 

JEFF

jeff4hire@aol.com

[guptasa1]

This is just from a client's perspective, but...I see this from two different angles, and I couldn't tell you which I'd go for if I were in your shoes off the top of my head - it's a tough decision.

 

If you really value the relationship you have with your family members and don't want to put that at risk, it doesn't necessarily hurt to not tell family members everything. Ignorance can be bliss as someone pointed out.

 

On the other hand, as also pointed out, it can be quite telling who stands by you when you DO tell people who you are. Just as a gay male, I know my "family" still isn't okay with the fact I'm gay (a very, very weird family situation here), and they show it most by simply ignoring the parts of me they don't like and making me out to be someone who doesn't exist (and in turn, I'm losing patience and growing increasingly distant from them and I think in the end that will be a very good thing even though it's also scary...but my family's wayyy too controlling).

 

Anyways, my point is, at this point in time I don't think it would bother me to lose those relationships pretty much altogether (in actuality, me making that statement scares me more because it's really how I feel)...I even think it might be healthier to lose 'em. I haven't let the "family" know I see escorts from time to time (I usually just say I'm going to see a friend, and if they ask anything more than that, I've begun to outright tell them it's no longer any of their business.)

 

At any rate, I think if I were you I'd weigh the pros and cons and choose based on what's more important to you - preserving your family relationships as they are, or being able to be completely be yourself but possibly damage some of those relationships (or maybe enhance them if they DO stay by you). Anyways, I think it's a decision only you can make since you obviously know yourself best. I wish you the best of luck however it goes.

[Guest fukamarine]

I would probably NOT tell my family but instead treat that information on a "need to know" basis.

 

Perhaps someone could answer this for me..........

 

Assuming you are an escort who does rather well for himself financially - can drive an expensive car, live in an upscale neighbourhood and wear expensive clothes etc.

 

Further assume you are very close to your family but do not wish to reveal your escorting activities (which are you only means of support).

 

What the hell do you tell your family you do for a living - the money must come from somewhere - and how do you explain those little jaunts to Europe, or where ever? Just curious.

 

fukamarine

[+ deej]

>What the hell do you tell your family you do for a living -

>the money must come from somewhere - and how do you explain

>those little jaunts to Europe, or where ever? Just curious.

 

You tell them you're a consultant.

 

That covers everything.

[VaHawk]

ROFLMAO. Beautiful reply. But perhaps will go over the head of those who have never contracted their services?

[AaronScottDC]

If you have pretty much already decided to tell them, but you are still afraid of their reaction, you may want to try this appraoch. Ask them what they think of male/female strip club dancers. Say that you are either contemplating a job as a stripper or that you are already doing it and see how they react to this news. If they are cool with that, then they will probably be cool with you escorting. But, if they freak out over the whole stripper idea, then I would imagine they will have an even tougher time with the escorting. Just a thought.

 

Aaron Scott DC

http://www.erados.com/AaronScottDC

http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/aaronscottdc.html

[theDCeBOY]

i trust that was sufficient, bluenix?

[bluenix]

>i trust that was sufficient, bluenix?

 

Oops. I forgot I had in posted here. Sorry.

 

Yes, that was sufficient. I am always curious when it comes to families. So many of them are generally fucked up. I don't understand why so many people think they have to put up with bullshit when it's dished out by relatives.

 

Me, I'm on marginally good ground with my family, but I'm not part of any of their lives. This is a good thing.

[TedLinden]

I blurted it out to my family in the days following my mother's death. Not the best way to tell them. At the time I was not escorting and they all seemed releived to know I wasn't doing. Of course since that time, I have been escorting quite happily. I still get little subtle comments about what i do for a living. Since I have another business I can easily say I'm working on that.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Consultant

 

I have not been employed as what the government considers a full time position in over six years. Rather, what I had been doing before I decided to escort again full time was consulting work.

 

My siblings know I am good with money and I am not extravagant. I also have very minimal contact with them and with any other relatives.

 

I am not sure if we all have always respected one anothers privacy because we were a large family or in spite of that fact, but there are a great deal on important and unimportant pieces of everyday information that I do not know about my immediate family, and vice versa.

 

To answer Greg's initial question, as many of the other escorts and clients have responded, you need to determine why you think it is important that your family members know and what would be accomplished by the telling. Sometimes, what you think is in your best interest, in not necessarily in the best interest of your family.

 

Good luck.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

My whole family is well-aware of my current 'travelings'

 

It actually went over better that i had expected... I decided from the getgo that i would not get into storytelling mode and just told them upfront to let them get used to the idea.

 

Although they both still have major concerns about my health, they have always made sure to let me know it's never been a issue of morality. Mom & dad are both bright, ivy-leaguers who i had expected to take the industry of escorting in a logical way. Luckily, they did and our relationship was better off for me being honest.

 

Now, i must have pretty solid parents, as most escorts i've met have either been disowned when telling the truth or simply keep it from the parentals. I totally understand. I just knew it was better for ME to come clean with my folks from the very beginning. Their moral support and ability to discuss escorting so openly with me is amazing. I think what floored me most was when my parents were more than open to meet with one of my guys that i had seen since the very beginning...

 

Strange at first, but after dinner it seemed like they were old friends. I'm just hoping that either of my parents weren't thinking about what we we were going to be doing later that night back at the hotel.

 

That could have been a real Jerry Springer moment

 

 

 

Warmest Always,

 

 

 

Benjamin Nicholas

[Rick Munroe]

I told my neurotic Jewish mother...today.

 

In lieu of flowers, please send donations to your local Hadassah in her name (Golda Munroe). Thank you. :+

[seaboy4hire]

Thanks for all the advice and foresite guys. My dad and I aren't particularly close (long story) but he and I do talk and I do share things with him to the mimimum of course. I have thought about telling him what I do because he knows I have been doing a lot of traveling lately and well I am not sure if he has figured it out but it's kind of hard to do on a baristas pay. Who knows. I suppose I'll come clean though if he asks me how I have been able to travel so much but unable to get down to LA where he and my sisters live since it's only a little over 2 hour flight from Seattle. I am sure though that one day I will have to cross that bridge when I get to it. Again thanks for sharing the experiences of those you who did tell your family. I hope that you all have a good Thanksgiving!

 

Hugs,

Greg

Greg Seattle Wa seaboy4hire@yahoo.com

http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/gregseattle.html http://briefcase.yahoo.com/seaboy4hire

[theDCeBOY]

sorry, but introducing your parents to a client WITH FULL KNOWLEDGE all around is just creepy to me.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Congrats Rick

 

I know you've always had a tough time with letting out your face shot for the very reason that mumsy might stumble upon it on the world wide web. Hopefully you'll change that and now be in the running for a very deserved CoverBoy/Man status...

 

So, how'd she take it? Did you have the oxygen standing by & the defib warmed up to full charge? Here's hoping it all went alright and that she'll slowly get used to the idea. It's not easy for anyone close to understand being an escort, especially a parent.

 

 

Warmest Thoughts,

 

 

 

Benjamin Nicholas

[Guest laverite]

>I think what floored

>me most was when my parents were more than open to meet with

>one of my guys that i had seen since the very beginning...

 

Who initiated the encounter with the client, you or your parents? It still seems awfully weird to me. BTW, was the meter running during dinner?

[theDCeBOY]

start shaking in your boots now, laverite! you'll have BuckyXTC biting your ankles now!

you're not allowed to say ANYTHING against his favourite boys. wait... like me, you didn't say anything against him. you merely indicated that you find the situation odd.