Ok Ok I want to evolve into a sugar daddy

[bluboy]

Here is the deal in that I have an escort whom I have been seeing for some time and think that I may want to take it to the next level. What is a good offer and what can I expect. There will be a studio apartment in Manhattan, a monthly stipend, and glorious travel to all corners of the world when I go on business trips. We get along well and we like each other and while I do not kid myself to thinking that he would play without pay, he would definately hang without pay. So what is a reasonable monthly stipend and should I expect that he will forsake all others, or all but his very regular or what. Thoughts please. Anyone been in such a situation. He is the only escort that I have introduced to friends etc and said he was a friend--I never generally itnroduce escorts into my life. blu

[Casteran]

First you need to ask yourself do you really want to do this. How long do you think it will last, why are you doing it, and will it make you happy? Only you can answer these questions. I have never regretted the "sugar daddy" roles I have played, but I certainly would not do some of them over again. How long have you been seeing him, etc? Or just have fun with it and take it with a grain of salt. Well kept boy in Manhattan studio, sex whenever you want, companion when you travel, sounds good. Just don't let yourself become emotionally attached and think it is love, it is a business partnership.

How much you spend is up to you. I've heard $1000 a week to $10K a month, depends on person and how much you want to spend. Be sure to be clear as to when he is OFF and when he is ON - pay accordingly to his ON time, you are paying for everything else so that compensates for the OFF time.

Enjoy, relax, don't go overboard as it will just hurt you in the end.

(Yes, I speak from experience and my 10+ years as being a sugar daddy have taught me well) Get a Thai boyfriend, friendly, cute, fun to play with, cheap to maintain, and 4000 miles away. :+

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Kept Boy

 

While I am certain a number of people will now find it necessary to post to this thread, there is (for some of the potential candidates), a world of a difference between being an escort and being kept. For example, some escorts really only enjoy short sessions with clients. They find themselves quite able to perform on a technical and physical level and even on certain personal levels, but the ability to comfortably spend extended time with a client is not within their make up.

 

Being kept would largely change the situation between one man and another. There are any number of considerations, such as age and finances. If you have introduced your escort to your family and friends as a friend of yours, any arrangement that you would enter would be open to interpretation by these people, no matter how kind hearted.

 

It is also simply possible that your escort may not want such an arrangement. As with many of these questions, it depends remains the best answer as well as you need to sit down and discuss the options with the escort. I would suggest what you want and why you want it should be talking points but also have a predetermined idea in your mind of what you are and are not willing to do to make this situation happen. It is difficult to know, in advance, all possible permutations which may arise, so you should also establish and work out ways to modify and to exit from the arrangement, for both parties, which are mutually considerate and respectful of both yourself (and your interests) as well as those of this escort.

[woodlawn]

I think you should focus a bit more on what your expectations for this deal really are. You seem uncertain, for example, whether to make it a condition that the escort see no one but you. That is a pretty big issue and it would be a mistake in my view to begin the discussion without having decided whether you will insist on that.

 

In my opinion asking for exclusivity is very risky. I suspect it is a condition that some escorts would have difficulty keeping. If he agrees to it you will probably have moments down the road in which you wonder whether the condition is really being kept, and that is bound to create a certain amount of tension.

 

On the other hand, if you are not to have exclusivity you have to ask yourself what you are getting in return for providing for all the escort's financial needs. If all you want is to insure he'll give you priority whenever you want to see him, is it really necessary to support him totally? I would think that many escorts would agree to such an arrangement in return for a monthly stipend that falls far short of total support. If so, why pay more? These are the sorts of questions you should ask yourself before proceeding.

[Guest HonkingGoose]

>I think you should focus a bit more on what your expectations

>for this deal really are. You seem uncertain, for example,

>whether to make it a condition that the escort see no one but

>you. That is a pretty big issue and it would be a mistake in

>my view to begin the discussion without having decided whether

>you will insist on that.

>

>In my opinion asking for exclusivity is very risky. I suspect

>it is a condition that some escorts would have difficulty

>keeping. If he agrees to it you will probably have moments

>down the road in which you wonder whether the condition is

>really being kept, and that is bound to create a certain

>amount of tension.

>

>On the other hand, if you are not to have exclusivity you have

>to ask yourself what you are getting in return for providing

>for all the escort's financial needs. If all you want is to

>insure he'll give you priority whenever you want to see him,

>is it really necessary to support him totally? I would think

>that many escorts would agree to such an arrangement in return

>for a monthly stipend that falls far short of total support.

>If so, why pay more? These are the sorts of questions you

>should ask yourself before proceeding.

>

> What a bad idea. Don't confuse a short term business deal with freindship or anything else.

[woodlawn]

>> Don't confuse a short term business deal

>with freindship or anything else.

 

I couldn't agree more. If it isn't quite clear to you that your relationship is based on money, there's a very easy way to find out. Just ask the escort if he'll fuck you whenever you feel like it for free.

[nate_sf]

I'd agree with the others that you should be asking yourself what you really want to get out of this, and where you want it to go. I don't mean to be harsh, but be careful about illusions that you may be creating a boyfriend, or even a substitute boyfriend. I've had a couple of regular clients who I had a really good relationship with, but then we'd start going out to meals or something together and it became apparent that they were really looking for a boyfriend. When it became clear that that wasn't going to happen (for one thing, I already have a boyfriend), I stopped hearing from them, which was really disappointing since I enjoyed our relationship, but probably the inevitable conclusion since romance beyond a certain point wasn't possible.

 

Having said that, if you approach this with no illusions, have the rules clearly stated beforehand, and understand the timeframe will probably be limited (at least in terms of the initial arrangement), it might work OK and be mutually beneficial for both of you after all. But I'd think about if there are other options for establishing a preferential relationship short of being "kept" since "kept" imples control, and control creates all kinds of problems. You could end up trashing the relationship you already have, even if you are really not trying to control him but he feels like you are nevertheless. It may be better to just offer him a preferred rate so that he schedules you with priority, which would be more equitable and less likely to create resentments between both of you over time.

[TightBodyTouch]

Blu, I think everyone here makes it evident that this sort of agreement or arrangement is perfectly within reason if you and your escort friend can communicate clearly and come to mutual understanding of what is possible and acceptable to you both. None of us will be with you when you committ to this choice and none of us will be able to decide what is the right offer for your boy. You and he are the only ones with those answers.

 

Since you mention that you are on a great personal level with him already then it sounds as though sitting down and arriving at some decisions may not be difficult for you both. Conveying what you'd like from him and in turn asking him to be honest about what he can and is willing to return back to you is going to be just like entering into any other relationship and requires discussion, understanding, time and consideration to enter into. Sounds like you guys have laid the groundwork for a mutually beneficial affair.

 

The others here have given exceptional advice on possible terms to agree to, limits to establish, and potential consequences of entering into a relationship like this. Some responses here reveal their skepticism in the type of agreement you want. While it's wise to keep your head clear about the boy where love may be concerned I think the fact that you are at a point where you are able and willing to offer this situation to him speaks volumes. Your confidence in his friendship to you and the apparent trust you already show in him also suggests that he successfully gives you what you need. Bless you for seeking to pamper this boy and bravo to him for obviously doing good things for you. Agree to try it out for a time, make sure you both honestly ask for what you need and enjoy the experience with the idea that it may end at any moment. If you have the potential and resource to create something fun for you both then why not? Handled with responsibility and respect you can both control any way that it may go.

[axebahia]

I was hoping someone would answer your question. If you are paying for the studio, plus exotic travel, I think all you should pay in addition is a modest spending stipend when he is with you. I don't think you should expect exclusivity without paying extra, but you should get priority access rights and he should agree not to run a "business" from the studio that you are paying for. I hope some escorts, particularly ones who have been kept in the past, write in with some price quotes even if only under an assumed name for the purpose of the exercise.

[Guest redie4fun]

All relationships are exchange relations. Few gay relationships last very long.If you feel good about the situation and it brings you hapiness, enoy the moment, enjoy the weekend, enjoy the month, and if lucky, enjoy the year...so what if there is an exchange.

[+ glutes]

Very well said Redi.

A good friend of mine has been married for 30 years, he'd love to divorce his wife. They no longer have communication, mutual interests, trust, or sex for that matter. When asked why he wouldn't go through with a divorce he said "I can't afford it. She'd get half of everything, including my pension". Even if he could afford it, he doesn't want to have to give her any money period, must be the hate talking.

After it emerged that I've used escorts he remarked "Well, you pay for it one way or the other!"

[taylorky]

well heres my $0.25 worth.

 

i'm not being judgmental or critical of what you propose,obviously it's your money and your life to do with as you wish.that being said.. my question is ..........why?

 

why would you want to support somebody who's interest in you is financial,and even worse somebody that would allow himself to be kept in exchange for sex. i can understand helping someone financially and emotionally to achieve a goal of some kind....but......what kind of person lays on his ass (when it's not being used) all day and allows another guy to pay his bills. and yes i know in relationships sometimes only one of the two is the breadwinner,but the operative word is relationships.....not user.

 

again it's your money and i couldn't care less what you do with it,but why not use it to find a nice guy that would want you for you instead of as a meal ticket.

[VaHawk]

Well, worth more than 25 cents, imo. I have to admit I'm with you on this one, WHY? indeed.

 

I never could understand the "kept" arrangement, whether it is a straight man/woman or otherwise. I guess it has to do with wanting someone even if you have to pay to "keep" her/him. Fortunately for both they seem to find each other, and that is great for both of them.

 

As far as spending the money to find a "real" relationship, I guess it would have a lot to do with attraction to youth and beauty, time to pursue such a relationship, self-esteem, control and other issues. Not for me personally as I would find such a "kept" person to be self-centered, uninteresting and a real user, but to each his own and if that is what someone wants and they can afford to do it, then no criticism should be directed towards him.

[+ glutes]

To me a Sugar Daddy relationship is ersatz. I started a thread about having found the perfect Trophy Twink, everyone poo-pooded it as artifical, that everyone could see through it - except the payor.

I beg to ask, what makes a relationship real??

[+ Unicorn]

>Here is the deal in that I have an escort whom I have been

>seeing for some time and think that I may want to take it to

>the next level. What is a good offer and what can I expect.

>There will be a studio apartment in Manhattan, a monthly

>stipend, and glorious travel to all corners of the world when

>I go on business trips. We get along well and we like each

>other and while I do not kid myself to thinking that he would

>play without pay, he would definately hang without pay. So

>what is a reasonable monthly stipend and should I expect that

>he will forsake all others, or all but his very regular or

>what.

 

I feel that the type of man who makes a good escort may be different from the type of man (or young man) who might enjoy being "kept" so to speak. I think that with the latter type of relationship, there has to be some genuine chemistry, with a great deal of mutual respect on both sides. This type of relationship is seen all of the time in the "straight world," in which an older or not so handsome guy marries a beautiful young wife. The wife may not find her husband the most attractive guy she could meet, but she enjoys his company and feels happy sticking together since he treats her right.

For the relationship to work, I think there needs to be some genuine affection and a sense that neither party "controls" the other. In a situation suggested by another poster in which the "daddy" pays the other $1000 a week in addition to expenses and a lavish lifestyle, it seems that this is more of an extended escort session. In this situation, the payee is more of an employee than any kind of a partner, and both sides are likely to end up dissatisfied. (Besides who could afford such a sum??!).

If you truly enjoy eachothers' company as you say you do, it seems you both should be happy if you provided him with a comfortable life, with a reasonable spending allowance (as opposed to any quantity approaching $1000 a week, which is a nice salary for a skilled worker). You might, for example, support his pursuit of an alternative career--by providing college tuition, artistic support, etc... It's hard for me to imagine that your paying $1000 a week for him to sit around at your beck and call could be satisfying for either of you. You're both likely to end up bored and resentful.

If your friend insists on a large monthly stipend, perhaps he doesn't enjoy your company as much as you think he does. Most people would jump at the chance to live a comfortable lifestyle without worries of bringing in the bacon, if we're with someone whose company we enjoy. I think that there are websites with guys who are interested in becoming houseboys. I think that these types of guys might be more inclined at appreciating a domestic lifestyle than an escort. A good escort, after all, probably enjoys most having sex with large numbers of people...

[Bilbo]

Seems to me that in one sense you are correct that kept men and escorts are two fairly different types of people. Except for maybe agency escorts, there is probably a streak of independent cuss in nearly every escort. He'd rather work for himself than for anyone else. Setting his own hours, etc. I know that I would never have been very good at being a kept man, much as I sometimes fantasized about it, and am glad that the only one who ever offered it to me wanted me to live in a logging camp.

[raife]

The whole sugar daddy thing is a recipe for grief, clashing as it does between the worlds of employer/employee and (ersatz) "romantic love". I've been there and there are no winners. Here's a great book for ya: [a href=http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1560231912/qid=1062971953/sr=1-3/ref=sr_1_3/102-0186411-6379322?v=glance&s=books]Sex Workers as Virtual Boyfriends[/a] It really clarified the issues for me.

 

With my main regular guy Jeff (not really a proper 'scort, he's a part-timer with a 40hr "real" job and only 2 regular clients), I see him once a week or so, make his sports car payment for him (~$500), I take him out to eat, shows, etc. And we have kick-ass awesome sex, no holds barred. I've been doing this for 2.5 years and the magic is still there. The formula: $$$ + an understanding + friendship + hot sex = A very worthwhile time to be had by all. If you can just get over the hurdle of this cultural "romantic love" bs expectation, you'll be all set.