Should escorts buy a good client a birthday gift?

[+ Lucky]

RE: Should escorts...

 

(Confidential to the escort I hire for my birthday next week: Yes, you need to give me a present. I will show you just where when you get here!)

Cooper, sorry if you thought I was mean, but I thought my suggestion was a good one. I used up my 1000th post to give that suggestion!:-)

[Cooper]

RE: Should escorts...

 

>(Confidential to the escort I hire for my birthday next

>week: Yes, you need to give me a present. I will show you

>just where when you get here!)

>Cooper, sorry if you thought I was mean, but I thought my

>suggestion was a good one. I used up my 1000th post to give

>that suggestion!:-)

 

Hey unlucky,

 

Your suggestion was not a good one, (read the others) but perhaps you can follow your own "good" advice and seek one out for yourself. You see, you have this real mean streak in you. You take great joy in criticizing others when they are down and this is a real problem.... Why not follow your mom's good advice: "Children should be seen and not heard"...

[Will]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

>Sounds like you found one of the good ones.

 

I'm very discriminating, and I'm very careful in my research. And that's why I'm certain that you are "one of the good ones" as well!

[Chuck50]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

I'm not sure "should" is the best word as it makes it feel like an obligation. I would hope after all those times together he would want to or whatever. Different things are important to different people. I can say in my own life another escort(VBD)who I invited on a cruise with me to celebrate my Birthday surprised me with many fun things including dinner prior to the cruise none of which I was expecting but was truly surprised by. While he and I are good friends and have been together a number of times in the last year. I realize that it is a special relationship, but I also understand that I am a client and anything that happens above that is a good deal. Dave is a cut above in his treatment of all and is very well respected. I plan on taking him somewhere nice for his birthday next month and hope to have many surprises for him as well. I think it has a lot to do with how people value people and there outlook on life and not just money and all the trappings HUGS Chuck

[Guest bottomboykk]

RE: Should escorts buy a good client a birthday...

 

What a good discussion! I really don't have anything to add to the good advice here (from some of the posters!), but it's been a thoroughly enjoyable thread.

 

I just wanted to say thanks to those posters (singling out Will and Boston Guy in paticular) whose posts here tend to shed light, rather than unnecessary heat, on the issues at hand. They are this board's assets.

[+ Lucky]

RE: Should escorts...

 

Sweetheart, I do see a therapist. Maybe that's where you took my suggestion wrong. I don't see it a bad thing.

And yes, this week I sure have been unlucky, so enjoy!

[Guest elwood]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

Will.....you are soo right...Joey is truly one of the best.

[+ glutes]

RE: Should escorts buy a good client a birthday...

 

Let me turn the tables a bit here. Is it appropriate for the client to buy a rentboy a 'gift'?? ( Gift meaning: you expect nothing in return) I was given heavy suggestions to buy a 'scort a Christmas gift during my last appointment. Yes, the last appointment was before Xmas - now I never get pages returned from him because I didn't buy a gift.

Remember, it is all business here folks. Detach your emotions!

[Boston Guy]

RE: Should escorts buy a good client a birthday...

 

>Let me turn the tables a bit here. Is it appropriate for the

>client to buy a rentboy a 'gift'?? ( Gift meaning: you

>expect nothing in return) I was given heavy suggestions to

>buy a 'scort a Christmas gift during my last appointment.

>Yes, the last appointment was before Xmas - now I never get

>pages returned from him because I didn't buy a gift.

>Remember, it is all business here folks. Detach your

>emotions!

 

Hi -

 

You asked us to detach our emotions. That's a fair request. In this case, it's probably a really good idea. :-)

 

The word that springs to mind is 'extortion'. An escort who makes you understand that you are obligated to buy him a 'gift' in return for continued appointments is practicing extortion. He is attempting to use your good feelings and kind regard to extort more money and more goods from you.

 

At the risk of repeating myself, there are many good escorts out there. Walk, don't run, from this man. He won't return your phone calls now? Good! Consider yourself lucky; you got away cheap.

 

When it works well, the interaction between client and escort can be great fun and the monetary exchange can be (momentarily) forgotten. In some ways, it's a bit like old-fashioned polite English society: the money is there, but always in the background.

 

An escort who attempts to extort additional money or gifts doesn't understand this relationship and doesn't understand that the way to truly make money as an escort is to make one's clients feel as if there is no money involved at all.

 

Look for other escorts. You deserve better than this guy.

 

And to answer your original question, it's appropriate for anyone to buy a gift for a friend or companion at any time, so long as the gift is given because the giver wants to and not because they feel a need to give it or expect something in return. In other words, gifts shouldn't involve coercion -- in either direction -- or ulterior motives. If you want to buy a gift for an escort you're fond of, by all means do. But don't expect or ask for anything in return. The act of giving should be thanks enough.

 

BG

[Guest Thunderbuns]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

>>If you are not joking, then it is a serious situation. You

>>need psychiatric help.

>

>Hey "Detective" duuuuh Lucky or is it now "Dr. Phil"?

>Why do you have to be so mean? If you have nothing

>constructive to contribute to this topic, then pass and have

>your laugh. I came here to share/vent an issue that some can

>relate to, and seek out advice. If by doing so I've become

>your target for personal criticism, then perhaps I should

>write elsewhere....So far, with the exception of yours, all

>the comments/suggestions have been very helpful, and for

>that I'm grateful. Since my personal friends don't want to

>hurt my feelings and tell me how foolish I've been, I needed

>to hear it from people who have been in a similiar

>situation...I hope you can understand where I'm coming from.

>Simply put, I was hurt when the escort didn't acknowledge my

>b-day. Amen!

 

Cooper - To start with, I don't feel that Lucky's reply to your question was in the least bit mean. As he pointed out to you in subsequent posts, seeing a psychiatrist is nothing to be ashamed about and his suggesting that you may benefit from one is certainly not a negative comment.

 

I suppose you calling him "detective" and "Dr. Phil" is your idea of some snappy repartee.

 

Also, both your postings - one re the loan and the second re the gift - could easily have been combined into one post and would have given everyone a clearer picture of you dilema.

 

However you should not loose sight of the fact that you posed the questions, presumably wanting answers. Whenever you do this, you leave yourself open for replies that might not be quite to your liking. And you have to live with that!

 

My impression is that you are only willing to consider the replies that see you as the "poor victim" and sympathize with the wrong that has befallen you.

 

Frankly, I too agree with Lucky. Unless you are a juvenile, still wet behind the ears (which I very much doubt) then you do indeed require professional help. Anyone who can't figure out the answers to these two rather simplistic questions is not very mature, in my opinion.

 

Are you still entitled to ask the questions? Of course you are. Just don't turn into a "scene queen" when you don't like all of the answers.

 

Thunderbuns

[BuckyXTC]

RE: Should escorts buy a good client a birthday

 

Cooper:

 

For me, this has to be one of the most interesting threads I've read here in a while, for several reasons. I've taken your original question, "should escorts buy a good client a birthday gift" a bit further to the level of gift giving and why we do it, period. I can identify with some of the feelings you're having in regard to this particular escort. Compared to some of the folks who post here, I'm inexperienced in the realm of hiring escorts. I started hiring about a year ago, and have only hired four different escorts, some of them repeatedly. My "feelings" about them have progressed and changed somewhat over time. And with more experience, my expectations have become much more realistic than they were in the beginning.

 

While I can be very cynical at times, I am, by and large, a fairly optimistic person. I tend to look for the good qualities in people I meet, escorts included. After not hiring escorts for some months, I hired two this week. The first was a drop-dead gorgeous young dude with this incredible physique that fulfilled some fantasies I have had since my youth. Essentially, he did everything I asked for during the appointment, and I was "satisfied" with the experience. I guess I'm saying he played his role well. Then, two days later, I hired a different escort, who has only been escorting for about two weeks, but had the skill and professionalism of a seasoned veteran. He was so easy to talk to and be with. In retrospect, there wasn't a lot of chemistry in the first encounter I mentioned, in this second encounter, it gave me a lot of perspective on personal chemistry and what I'm looking for when I hire an escort. In the jaded aesthetic of the world we live in, where youth and physical beauty seem to be the highest valued attributes (which speaks volumes about the shallowness of our culture) (my cynical side coming out here),, I would surmise that if you presented photographs of these two escorts to the escort-hirng world at large, most would probably choose escort #1 over escort#2, because he had that very masculine, ripped, stud quality in his physical appearance. But photos don't tell us the whole story, anymore than seeing some hot looking guy walk past us on the street. When escort#2 walked into the room today, and we conversed briefly before getting down to business, I realized that he was the sort of person I would enjoy having as a friend., while escort #1 was so enamoured of his own beauty that being around him for extended periods of time, for anything beyond sex would most likely wear thin. The second escort was an utter joy to be with......kind, sensitive, attractive but with very little ego showing. As I look back over these two escorts who both shared the physical quality of beauty, the similarties pretty much ended there. If I were to give a gift to escort#1, I have no doubt he would see it as something he felt entitled to, because he had decided to honor me with an appointment with him for a fee. With escort number 2, a gift would most likely be seen as an act of kindness, affection, and generosity. How do I know that? It is a gut feeling, and my gut rarely lies to me. This much I know, I'll be much more inclined to hire escort 2 in the future. Escort #1 definitely satisfied a fantasy I have had, but now I'm kind of at the place of "been there, done that, with him. I'm not sure I'll need to revist that fantasy in the future now. Escort#2 was a genuinely nice person, with qualities I like and enjoy among the circle of people I count as friends. That said, I have no expectations that my connection with escort #2 will ever go beyond a "business" relationship,, though sometimes that happens, albeit rarely. If I felt inclined to do so, I wouldn't hesitate to give escort#2 an appropriate gift as a way of showing that I appreciated him, but I would never expect him to reciprocate in kind. But, by and large, if I'm looking for friends, I look elsewhere.

 

I know this is pretty rare, but one of the escorts I saw, who is no longer escorting, is today my very best friend. I treasure his friendship so much more than I have ever treasured the commodity of '"sex". He is a friend with whom I can share anything, and he feels the same toward me. He's the sort of friend who would donate a kidney to you if you needed one. Friends like that are rare indeed.

 

Sorry I've rambled on for so long, but in the end, I'd have to agree with those who urge you to move on from this guy. I don't see much potential here, since this guy has so many issues. You can't change him, but you can look at your own issues and figure out what it is you're looking for in hiring escorts, and whether it is reasonable to expect you'll find it there.

 

As always, I'm mightily impressed by the good counsel of folks like Marc Anthony, Will, Boston Guy and Devon. You can hardly go wrong listening to their advice.

 

Good luck and best wishes to you in finding not what you want, but what you need. The road can be rocky, but there are some good folks here who can provide some accurate markers along the path.

[Will]

RE: Should escorts buy a good client a birthday

 

Bucky, you are probably the least cynical person who posts on this board. Even in this post, what you call "cynical" I would call "skeptical." They are two different things. How do I know you are not cynical? Because cynical people never look for the best in other people, for the simple reason that they assume there is no good to be found. And how do I know that you are the least cynical? Because you explain or even excuse those whom you do criticize. No, Bucky, you are a sweetheart through and through, and lucky is the escort whom you hire.

 

Now, of course, as a good member of M4M, it's your duty to review Escort #2. A review of Escort #1 would be in order as well. In fact, you've already written both reviews -- all that's left is the list of stats and their names. I hope you'll tend to both of those bits of business today. After all, Escort #1 needs to know that he's the only person on earth who thinks Escort #1 is divine because he's beautiful; and Escort #2 needs to know how much you appreciate his very appreciable efforts. Cheers!

[Cooper]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

Thunderbuns,

 

Remember that when you respond to a topic on this board it is being read by members and non-members alike. The advice you give is not only for the author of the topic, but for ALL men who can relate to this situation. What you say not only helps me, but also gives direction to those who are reluctant to open up in a public forum. So when you give advice make it your BEST, for there is no telling how far it will go and how many it will benefit.

 

I was overwhelmed by the numerous responses this post provoked. Some of which will take time to digest, but I have grown from them all. Also, I was deeply touched by those who opened-up and shared their personal and sometimes lenghty stories. Your caring has earned not only my respect, but that of most readers. Your words didn't go unnoticed.

 

So when members are giving out "free" advice to another, think of it this way, how would I like to be helped in a time of need. And finally, anyone who hasn't read ALL the posts on this topic, you are really missing out on a truly wonderful discussion that gives insight into the lives of many of our gifted members.

[BuckyXTC]

RE: Should escorts buy a good client a birthday

 

Will:

 

Thanks for the kind words, and a reminder about the distinction between cynical and skeptical. Point well taken.

 

As for writing reviews of the two aforementioned escorts, I'm half there. I submitted a review for Escort#1 within a short time of meeting him. In fact, I think I was perhaps a bit too quick on the trigger......I pointed out the positives and as I remember, said little about the ego issues, as the sexual aspects of the encounter and the utter physical beauty of the escort were still very fresh in my mind. It was only after being with Escort#2 that I fully realized the stark contrast between the two. Before I hired Escort2, I clearly felt I would be willing to hire Escort1 again, especially if I was looking for someone who could be pretty dominant and aggressive. In this regard, Escort#1 was clearly that, he definitely did what I asked him to do. If I hadn't already submitted that review, I'd probably include a phrase to the effect: "This boy has an ego consistent with his beauty and physique, if that's not a problem for you, then you'll have a great time." Guess I've learned a lesson that I didn't really know, being that this is the first time I've hired two different escorts within a 72 hour period. In fairness to Escort#1, I asked him to do things that were considerably different from what I sought with Escort #2, namely to be dominant and aggressive. He was a natural at it. With Escort#2, he told me what he did and did not do when we met, and I was very comfortable with that. It was much more of a tender scene, which I also like (and now I know I really prefer). So I think the real issue was that I wrote the first review a bit too soon and should have said something about the ego issue, as I mentioned before. That said, I couldn't characterize that experience as a bad one, just one that clearly wasn't as good as the encounter with Escort#2. In other words, I now realize it's wise to let the dust settle a bit after meeting an escort to see how you feel about the experience. As for Escort#1, I still feel he was better than some of his earlier reviews, but in retrospect, maybe not quite as good as he would have been without the ego issues. When you're looking for a dominant scene, it could be a a contradiction of sorts not to expect the dominant one to show some ego.

 

One additional thing that I didn't mention before: both of these escorts were young, 19 and 18, respectively. Because I tend to like guys in the 18-25 age range, I'm sensitive to the reality that maturity levels vary widely with this group, and in most instances, tend toward the lower end of the scale. I'm more forgiving of them than I would be someone older. Nevertheless, it became abundantly clear to me after the two encounters that the 18 year old was mature beyond his years, and the 19 year old still had some issues to work through. Escort #1 is described by his agency as a "bi-muscle boy" Escort #2 clearly and proudly affirmed his gay status. Some of Escort#1's ego issues may be a result of the inner conflicts he has with his chosen trade and uncertainty about his real sexual preference.

 

Reviewing an escort is more subjectivity than science. Personal chemistry between escort and client, how a client or escort happens to be feeling on a given day, and a host of other factors truly influence the experience.. So, when all is said and done, under the right circumstances, (like an abundance of spare cash lying around the house) I'd consider hiring Escort#1 again, but if Escort#2 was available, he would always be my first choice.

 

I will be writing the review of Escort#2 this weekend and sending it to Hooboy. I just hope the agency will post a better photograph, because this boy is gorgeous inside and out, and the current photo doesn't even come close to doing him justice.

 

Will, as always, I deeply appreciate what you contribute here. Your sensitivity and reasoned posts were in no small part responsible for my decision to start participating here again after being away from the boards for six months.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

>And that's why I'm certain that you are "one of

>the good ones" as well!

 

He is!! My $.02 worth is based on experience(s).

 

 

;-) }>

[+ glutes]

RE: Should escorts buy a good client a birthday...

 

Extortion is quite right. This escort is now charging $400/hour in his last review, I should be glad he doesn't return my pages!!!

[Guest SeaGuy]

RE: Should escorts buy a good client a birthday ..

 

I for one don't want to go into the details of your story but will address your question, Should escorts buy a GOOD client a birthday gift? Yes they should, if thet are good businessmen and want to be on good terms with their employers. Companies and employers give their employees gifts quite frequently and in the financial services field as well as sales it is commom to suck up to your big bucks client with a gift. However, I have to concur in the opinion that the said escort actually did you a GREAT favor, intentionally or unintentionally and subconsciously by not giving you a gift and making you realize that he is not a friend and/or lover but an employee who renders services for pay. Nothing more. If you are to have any TRUE happiness in this world you have to come to terms with reality and not live in the fantasy world of salesmanship and marketing. My best wishes to you.:*

[Traveler North]

RE: birthday gifts

 

Had good experience recently with escort I had seen before. Visited Vegas to celebrate my birthday, and was surpirsed and please when escort, who I had told reason for my visit, arrived with birthday gift. I expect to seen him in fall when he celebrates his 30th, and will certainly give him a gift. He his great and considerate guy.