Inter-racial Clientele

[Guest NCDurhamDude]

Interesting question I think... I'm an attractive black man - in my late 40s but by the grace of genetics I have the appearance of someone in the early to mid- 30s.. whoo hoo!...Because of a busy schedule and geographic location, I've decided that chat rooms and message boards can be tedious and a enormous waste of time.. to get what I want, when I want it, I've come to realize that I must do what I must do...ah, that's why I'm here. My concern is that some escorts (and I'm totally attracted to white men) may have reservations, not because of my looks, I am a pretty handsome man, but simply because of ethnicity. Some even go so far as to say "no blacks" which I supposed is not a very positive way to prosper in this profession. If there are any people out there who have encountered bigotry and racism during their interactions, I'd like to know how you handled it and what went through your minds... If there are any escorts who read these blurbs, I'd be curious to know if this is a practice common in your business. Thanks.

[Guest aarongreyLa]

In all honesty, no. I have not encountered this but I have a question for you. If you are a beautiful black man, why in the hell are you letting these fools get to you at all? Racism is an obsolete social construction for even white people. Any one who practices it is an idiot. You should feel grateful that someone ignorant rejected you and did you the wonderful favor of erasing that drama from your life. I do not mean to be harsh but even though it is hard for gays in general, it is doubly hard for a black man to be gay, educated, and respected in this world. The difficulty is Gods precious gift to you. You have the ability to say that yes: people have passed me off because of my ethnicity but it still has not shaken your spirit.

I will tell you. If you are really attracted to white men, your white man is out there. You will never meet him until you find the courage and the strength to say to the world that I am better than your idiocy. The instant you do that you will send psychic waves of energy into the universe telling that beautiful white man of yours that now you are ready to appreciate him. Then he will come: no sooner, no later. And if it makes any difference, I value you.

As a fellow black man, I am proud of you. As you spiritual brother, I am telling you are on the right track. Just muster the courage to be better than the world around you just a little while longer. You will see. In the mean time read some of James Baldwin’s books (Giovanni’s room for instance) you will see that he was a gay black man who came of age in a time where whites would have rejected blacks in a much harsher and belligerent way than any escort could ever do today. His boyfriends were indeed beautiful white European men because he packed his shit and said I am not going to take the ignorance around me anymore and he moves to France then Switzerland. A beautiful white man took him in, provided housing and space for him to pursue his writing and he gave him love when his body got lonely. It can sooooo happen. Just be patient.

 

 

Aaron Grey and that in the corner is my caboose. Choo!!Choo!!

http://www.aarongreycalifornia.com

aaron@aarongreycalifornia.com

[Guest Spunk]

arron somebody worte....

>Racism is an obsolete social construction for even white

>people.

 

Hey while I hope your statement is correct lets not make all white people racists. After all racism comes in all colors, forms, shapes, and preferences.

 

It isn't just for "white people" anymore.

[Guest aarongreyLa]

Oh baby, I do not mean any harm. I am well aware that not all white people are racist. What I mean is that racism in this country was instituted into law after the civil war to recreate the subservient/dominant social structure of blacks to whites. Since that time it is not socially, economically or otherwise feasible to a racist. That is why it is obsolete for whites that did believe in it before. That is all I am saying. No harm intended.

 

Aaron Grey and that in the corner is my caboose. Choo!!Choo!!

http://www.aarongreycalifornia.com

aaron@aarongreycalifornia.com

[Guest DCeBOY]

this is kind of funny.... i had no idea aaron was (is) black. i was thinking latin heritage.

 

i know you're all ready to pounce, so NO! it does NOT change my earlier gushing effusion over the boy!

 

white/black/chartreuse... he's still yummy.

[Guest aarongreyLa]

Thank you sweety.

 

Aaron Grey and that in the corner is my caboose. Choo!!Choo!!

http://www.aarongreycalifornia.com

aaron@aarongreycalifornia.com

[Guest Bitchboy]

Oh yes, Aaron is undoubtedly gorgeous, but apparently the choo choo isn't taking rides. That's a waste of an awfully pretty caboose.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

An Escort Answers

 

>Because of a busy schedule and geographic location,

>I've decided that chat rooms and message boards can be

>tedious and a enormous waste of time.. to get what I want,

>when I want it, I've come to realize that I must do what I

>must do...ah, that's why I'm here.

 

First of all, to belabor the obvious, since thus far our fellow community has not answered your question, two thoughts. One of which is that this is the reason, IMHO, that most of the average or above average clients come to an escort, so you are, in fact, in very good company there.

 

My concern is that some escorts (and I'm totally attracted to white men)

>may have reservations, not because of my looks, I am a pretty

>handsome man, but simply because of ethnicity. Some even go

>so far as to say "no blacks" which I supposed is not a very

>positive way to prosper in this profession.

 

Secondly, there is a long thread elsewhere regarding a Southern Top Escort. Another person can probably help you find it but it is recent enough that you should be able to avail yourself of its thoughts. The essence of which was that escorts/escorting are not public accommodations which must therefore provide for every customer presented, but that as an escort must be able to provide good service to the end user, if the escort was not "totally attracted" to a man not of his race, then perhaps it was best to make it clear. The main point of contention would be how to send someone to the "back of the bus" with tact and grace.

 

 

> If there are any, escorts who read these blurbs, I'd be curious to know if

>this is a practice common in your business. Thanks.

 

Aaron gave some excellent answers and advise. I am mostly in agreement with his thoughts, as I have found myself in his well-worded and considered answers elsewhere. As this is a section to ASK escorts for information, it is a shame more of us have not answered. I think your best way to handle this situation is to write via email to the escorts who appeal to you and simply ask your question and state your expectations. Some will not respond at all and this may have absolutely nothing to do with your race but may simply be a factor of the escorts inability to provide good customer service. Some may respond in a manner that you will neither like and perhaps neither appreciate. Most, I would hope, would be prepared and able to provide you with excellent responses and the opportunity to provide for and even surpass your needs and wants.

 

Best of luck!

[Guest dstud4hire]

Unfortunately, racism is pervasive in just about every facet of our lives. But I will say, amongst those that do this profession, I have not heard of many that I know being racist...(Though I would pose the challenge that to a certain extent, all of us are racist, it's just a matter of being aware of it, and working out our own issues.)

 

But I will accept any client regardless of race, orientation, age, etc. I tend to be attracted to many types as it is. Though I will say, in 5 years of escorting , I can count the number of african, asain, or hispanic- americans in less than 4 hands, if that.

 

It was pointed out in this thread that not all whites are racist, to which I would agree. However, that said and done, I would venture to guess that while all of us have either been at one point or another a perpetrator and/or a victim of racism, it is us as whites that I believe should shoulder a bit more of the challenges and responsibility for the past. Not so much because we presently may owe apologies for things done hundreds of years ago, or even decades, but because it was our heitage (white european) that wrote into law, and constructed a system that to this day, still has it's effect. The laws may not exist anymore, but those attitudes became imbeeded into our national psyche, and all the while, even today, institutional racism continues to hold back many good people.

 

So, I try to keep this in mind when I work on these issues for myself. I'm not always successful, but at least I do recognize that though I would never use the N word, and I do not classify myself as racist, I do know that my occassional inability to speak up when I hear a racist joke or comment, or certain thoughts or subtle acts I may do may buy into a system that perpetuates the circle of racism.....

 

that said and done, on a lighter note, as a blond.fair skinned guy, the whole concept of 'opposites attract' tend to ring true. I like being with all my clients, but have found my attraction level even higher to those who have darker eyes or hair than I do, or are of a different ethnic bacckground.

 

That's a shame that you have to face that from the occassional escort, though it's a good thing that there are some escorts stupid enough to say "no blacks" because you certainly wouldn't want to spend your hard earned money on someone who was just putting on an act in the name of the almighty dollar.

[Guest aarongreyLa]

RE: An Escort Answers

 

This is really sound advice that FrancoDiSantisxxx gives. I am curious to hear what you think NCDurhamDude. Does this help at all. I echo FrancoDiSantisxxx in wanting to hear other escorts’ points of view also.

 

Aaron Grey and that in the corner is my caboose. Choo!!Choo!!

http://www.aarongreycalifornia.com

aaron@aarongreycalifornia.com

[Guest DCeBOY]

WHAT?!?!?!?!?

he doesn't bottom? hmmm... well, i knew i'd be disappointed eventually! }>

[Guest aarongreyLa]

We should put you on a loud speaker.

Aaron Grey and that in the corner is my caboose. Choo!!Choo!!

http://www.aarongreycalifornia.com

aaron@aarongreycalifornia.com

[Guest dstud4hire]

>We should put you on a loud speaker.

>Aaron Grey and that in the corner is my caboose.

>Choo!!Choo!!

>http://www.aarongreycalifornia.com

>aaron@aarongreycalifornia.com

 

 

ooops, sorry, well, I can't help but to occassionally get on my pontificating soap box. fortuately, I know when to step down!

[Guest regulation]

>>We should put you on a loud speaker.

>>Aaron Grey and that in the corner is my caboose.

>>Choo!!Choo!!

>>http://www.aarongreycalifornia.com

>>aaron@aarongreycalifornia.com

 

>ooops, sorry, well, I can't help but to occassionally get on

>my pontificating soap box. fortuately, I know when to step

>down!

 

I see no need for you to apologize for posting what is obviously an informed opinion on an issue that is highly relevant to this website. Especially since the person criticizing your post is someone whose posts are often nothing but drivel.

 

As Franco correctly points out above, there was in the recent past a long thread on the subject of escorts who turn away clients based on race. Most of the clients and escorts who contributed to the thread stated that they have no problem with racial discrimination in that situation. One interesting aspect of the discussion was whether, if prostitution were legalized, prostitutes would come within state statutes on "public accommodations" that prohibit racial discrimination by a wide variety of businesses that offer services to the public. Based on the current wording of such statutes, I rather think the answer is "Yes."

[duke37]

Umm I think Aaron was intending to be positive in his response to Gabe's post. And I want to agree with him it was first-rate like the poster himself.

 

Jeff

[Guest bottomboykk]

Where on earth do you get criticism out of Aaron's post? It sure seemed like a positive, indicating more people should hear comments like that.

 

And Aaron certainly has not posted "drivel" here. He's been a delightful addition to the board, and certainly is more enjoyable to read, and contributes more than certain people I could mention.

[Guest regulation]

>Where on earth do you get criticism out of Aaron's post? It

>sure seemed like a positive, indicating more people should

>hear comments like that.

 

I disagree. And in case it's slipped your mind, I have every bit as much right to my opinion of it as you do.

 

>And Aaron certainly has not posted "drivel" here. He's been

>a delightful addition to the board, and certainly is more

>enjoyable to read, and contributes more than certain people

>I could mention.

 

Really? His posts in the Deli thread titled "Hey we cannot ride . . . " fit my definition of "drivel" perfectly. In fact, I would have to say that I have seldom seen such a perfect example of sophomoric drivel. I have been assuming that that is the very effect he was trying to achieve. You don't think that's what he had in mind?

 

The poster we are discussing has been expressing his opinions of the posts of others in recent days. I don't suppose anyone told him that he is the only person here who has the right to do that. If anyone did say that, he would be quite wrong, wouldn't he?

[Rick Munroe]

I don't think it's bigotry or racism; when it comes to sex, some people just aren't attracted to certain types. As for me, I'm attracted to everyone except those having vaginas. Most of my clients have been white but that hasn't been my choice; I'm very attracted to men of all colors. But I would defend another escort's right to say "no ______s" if he knows he won't be able to get it up for that type or race. When I used to look for quickie sex on AOL or m4m4sex or other sites, I'd often come across a hot black or latin guy whose profile would say "looking for other latin or black men only" and although I would be disappointed, I never took that as racist. I tried to approach it in a different way: I'd spend lots of time at the beach getting as dark as I could...but the white butt always gave me away as a honky everytime. :+

[Guest dstud4hire]

>Umm I think Aaron was intending to be positive in his

>response to Gabe's post. And I want to agree with him it was

>first-rate like the poster himself.

>

>Jeff

 

I would quite agree, aaron was paying me a compliment, though I certainly wasn't going for a compliment, I simply was stating what I felt about the subject. the resaon I believe Aaron was paying me a compliment was because if you were to go and re-read his initial response to the first post, you would discover he is african american himself, and so he sounded more like he was saying that what I was saying needed to be said. but nonetheless, that is beside the point. I notice that happens a lot in these thtreads. Someone puts down someone else's opinion, and then everyone defends the person who was put down, and then the focus totally loses of of any genuine dialogue about interesting, thought provoking, or meaningful concerning sensitive issues such as race. When looking at my own behavior, I will often employ that when I myself don't want to deal with my own 'isms' and the responsibility I should take in perpetuating them.

[Guest aarongreyLa]

Another interesting aspect of this conversation is the mere fact that we are even having it. When I lived in Brazil, I was shocked to discover their views on race. As far as race goes, you are white if you have money. You are black if you do not have money. There are exceptions to the rule but historically that has been the rule in Brazil. They seem to understand the obvious too: if you have money, you can make yourself more beautiful. They are a very romantic sensory people. They notice if you smell good, have a clear complexion, have a nice round but or breast, drive a nice car, have a successful business. All of the things I just mentioned attainable to some degree with money.

 

Another thing about race in Brazil that is different from in this country is that for many Brazilians sexual pleasure rewards itself. When the possibility of orgasm presents itself, all other factors are void. Race, ethnicity, missing tooth (okay that is an exaggeration…maybe…I will have to double check my research) does not does not even come to mind when the possibility of sexual pleasure is in the air. In that way, Brazilians truly are able to love all types of people when sex is involved. Sex is a gift. It does not equal love. So, it is interesting that so many American escorts get preoccupied (me included) with the atmosphere of sex. America is a world away forms other nations in that respect. I guess it is something that we have to work around.

 

http://www.aarongreycalifornia.com

aarongrey@aarongreycalifornia.com

[Guest DCeBOY]

i sent this to aaron privately. he thought i should post it.

ANYTHING he wants, i'll do.

 

before i reply to your latest message, i have to say something about your last post in the interracial clients thread. you made several points about brazil, including saying that sexual attitudes & mores are light years from those in the US. i agree about that. what i don't agree with is the implied value judgement. there is nothing to "work around" with the mores in the US. brazil is great because it is brazil. it isn't better; just different. i like the diversity. i can go to brazil, israel, denmark, and the US--i'll be able to enjoy 4 very different modes of life & modes of sexual expression. none is better than the others. none needs to work around issues to approach another. there's something to be said even for the somewhat puritanical US.

[Guest Willy]

I am white and middle aged. My sexual feelings about black men are that I am rarely attracted, but there have been exceptions. I don't look down on black people. One of my relatives has a couple of black adopted kids and I love them the same as my other nephews and nieces. I have black next-door neighbors and I like them just the same as anyone else.

 

But sexual attraction is personal and partly mystical. It operates at a different level, and thank heavens for that. I'm sure the original poster also knows that in the bigger cities there are gay bars that are largely, if not exclusively, black and that there are plenty of black guys who dig only other black guys.

 

There are white guys who are sexually interested in black guys and vice-versa, and that's where to do your hunting. My opinion is that racism is a cultural and intellectual construct, whereas sexual attraction is more basic. So I don't think that people of one ethnic group who aren't attracted to members of another are being racist. Rather, I think it's preference.

 

All of that said, I want to be really clear: This is not a message on behalf of racism, which I see as one group's disdain for another based on race. And it certainly isn't an argument for the ability to act out on racism through various forms of discrimination with which we're all familiar. But hardons are hardons, operating by their own logic or lack of it. Hardons are mysteries, and it's not wise to interfere with them because they might disappear altogether.

[vladimir101]

Like Mr. Munroe i don't have a problem with escorts that say they are not attracted to another race and would prefer not to have them as clients. Everyone has a right to choose who they want to have sex with. The problem I have is when certain escorts know that they would never see a black or ethnic client but fail to let the client know about it. I am a very attractive blackguy that trains and stays in good shape. I get hit on all the time by guys but i am not out yet so i prefer to have discreet encounters via certain escorts. I am attracted to the opposite of my race(white guys). There have been a couple of encounters with white escorts who once they figured out that i was black, kept leading me on about booking an appointment hoping that i would finally give up after numerous cancellations on their part. I dont understand what the problem is with being straight up with a client and just stating that you are not interested in clients outside your race. I could definitely respect that more than being led on a wild goose chase. I have wasted hours of my time trying to hook up with appointments that were made with 2 certain escorts who really had no intentions in the beginning on seeing black clients. I would get to the incall and either they would not be there or say that something came up and they need to reschedule. Everything was fine when i talked to them on the phone but when they saw that i was black it seemed their facial expression turned dumbfounded and i got excuses on why they had to cancel.One escort for instance was Mikel of Atlanta.

 

I dont think its racist for an escort to say that he is not sexually attracted to another race. I only find it offensive when they know this and wont let the potential client know. I am a professional business man and just like an escort's time means money to them so does mine. But i do have to say aside from 3 escorts who have done that crap to me here in atlanta, 99% of the rest usually respond with a very pleased face when they see me saying that they dont get a lot of attractive clients like me and asks have i ever considered escorting myself cause i could rack up!!So i accept the good with the bad. I just wish people could be real and upfront about their preferences!!

[Guest DCeBOY]

self-loathing?

 

so what's up with these black men who are ONLY attracted to white men? why don't we call them racist if they say "white guys only"?

answer: because attraction is entirely different from racism. in my personal life, i tend to be MOST attracted to latin guys. i like white guys. now, there are plenty of latin guys or white guys i don't find attractive though. *most* asian guys don't do a whole lot for me. (i've tried talking with a couple of guys who are REALLY into asians to try & figure out what it is, but so far we've not pinpointed anything.) there have been a few asian guys i've found hot though. then there are black men. the person on this message center i've been the ABSOLUTE MOST attracted to (my wittle Aaron) is black. i find that i'm not especially attracted to VERY VERY dark-skinned black guys--you know, the one one of my best friends (yes, a black guy) calls purple.

am i racist? i'd like to think not. my preferences span 4 racial/ethnic groups: latin, white, some black, some asian.

[Guest aarongreyLa]

RE: self-loathing?

 

This is a very beautiful discussion. I am glad that all of you have participated. The interesting thing about this conversation is that there is a normative division between sexual attraction and ethnicity. That is the one we all think should exist. Ones sexual preferences should be independent of their ethnic/political/racial views. But I think that they are not so separate. Anthropologically human beings are geared to use social cues in order to find the most suitable mate. It goes back to a primal need in human beings to procreate and self-preserve. Well just as animals look for size, color, virility, temperament in their mates; humans look for the same things and socially beneficial traits. What could benefit a human being socially? White, cute, rich, straight or straight acting, old money, well-educated, calm, confidence, (all the things you will see on any stats page for any male escort out there) are all social characteristics that human beings select for. Why do they do this? It means greater social mobility in the end. So are you racist if “ethic” people do not turn you on. Probably, probably not…but most likely yes to some decree. It is all due to a primal need to be better in the end. How far can I go? How can I maximize my options, how can I market myself so people will want me? These are all questions we ask in a daily basis in some respect or another. There is no surprise that this tendency would reveal itself in our sexual “needs.” But sometimes I think that I am letting the world know a little too much a about what is going on in my little head. It may even be misleading. This world is weird. I encourage healthy sexual experiences. If that is with someone of the same or opposite sex, I say more power to you. In the end,…it is your world…it is as racist or tolerant as you make it. You hold the key.

http://www.aarongreycalifornia.com

aarongrey@aarongreycalifornia.com