Too fat to hire

[Realalist]

wow...this society has really gotten to a place that it has never been before. i was giving a motivational, sincere, positive response to try to help the man out. most on here got that and appreciate it. never did i call him names, belittle him nor try to make him feel anything but upbeat about himself. we all can improve ourselves even if in small ways.

 

the man gets on here and says he thinks he is too disgusting to hire an escort. i try to give him sound advice. never did i try to tell him to get ripped abs and go to a white party and flaunt it around like so many do. nope. not once.

 

never will a horrible, so negative a reply like the one kent gave here stop me from trying to help people. i think most here understand this and kent just made himself look like a horrible human being.

"Too disgusting to hire an escort" never came out of my mouth (or anyone else's) but I suppose I appreciate the effort.

"I experience a great deal of anxiety trying to hire someone because of my weight. I often fantasize about having an amazing experience with a hot guy. Mostly I tend to choose less attractive escorts to mitigate some damage. I just want to feel wanted and validated."

 

He wants the hot guys to want him too. He's not interested in just average guys. I get that. When I was 30 I wanted desperately to fit in and of coarse you want the hotties to notice you so I started going to the gym and guess what. My dream came true. Yah. Also, he never stated that he has a disease or whatever so I'm going with that.

I think you somewhat missed the point. This conversation is about my anxiety hiring escorts while fat, so "trying to fit it" or "getting the hotties to notice you" is far from the issue I described. While I agree getting in shape would probably help with some of my issues, I'm certainly not doing it so an escort will like me.

[BigK]

Thank you. Thing is, I don't want to have to tell them I'm overweight beforehand. Nobody else has to inform escorts of their physical attributes beforehand, so why should I? I know, it makes sense because if they can't perform with a overweight guy then it would mutually beneficial to let them know upfront but that experience would only add to my anxiety.

 

Get over the not telling them beforehand. Many clients do so in order to increase the likelihood of a good experience.

[+ Pensant]

No it isn't appropriate for two basic reasons: the OP didn't ask for advice about his weight and we have no knowledge about his genetic/environmental/medical issues. There are many reasons for someone to be overweight and a large number of them are not directly controllable. Without far more information, we have no idea and no valid basis to say something like was said above. We don't even know if he's medically obese! All he's said pertains to the extreme lookism he's experienced. The statements by gymowner and others are loaded with implicit assumptions based on illusions of "control" and "will" that are frankly condescending and elitist. Given what's been shared so far, those comments are counterproductive and potentially harmful.

“Lookism”? I’ll have to look that one up.

[omw_to_hell]

Rather than offer another comment on this aspect, I thought I'd post a link to this article from a few years ago. David is well known in the forum, many of us have been to pool parties at his home in Palm Springs.

https://www.out.com/lifestyle/2016/2/09/price-intimacy-time-i-hired-sex-worker

Wow thank you for this, it describes so well everything that I was worried about and made me feel so much better about it.

[MisterMike]

@Realalist bravo for sharing. I think the real flaw in your logic is assuming that providers like or are attracted to guys with bodies different from yours. I am certain providers see their share of guys who may be thinner or more muscled or younger or whatever and are still not attracted to them. At a very basic level most escorts are attracted to your money and have learned to work around whatever lack of attraction they have to whatever it is you are. As a bigger dude myself I can attest to the fact that loads of young and hot guys have been very into me and my body. Some of it is just the confidence in which I present myself. In terms of informing someone in advance, I highly recommend it. It shifts the conversation when you arrive to being in-the-moment and thinking of the pleasures to come instead of in your head worrying about what the provider thinks, after all- forewarned is fair warned.