Q for providers re fee etiquette

[DMICS]

P.S. and you'd be surprised how many catty, nasty, and outright hostile responses I get just doing that.

 

While not for the same thing, I pretty much got catty, hostile responses from MrFeb when I asked if it was cool his fee was paid when the session was done. Turned into a back and forth where he was rude and I kept it calm and respectful.

[Rudynate]

I say, "Sorry, not in my budget."

[+ Eric Hassan]

For those who respond with just "Thanks"

 

As an escort, it's impossible to distinguish between just that one word meaning "thanks, not going to work" or "thanks...and subsequently expecting a follow up with availability, or even expecting and appointment if availability was already discussed.

 

Due diligence and consideration would be better appreciated in more clearly communicating that rates are outside what you are looking for. Especially if you attempt to contact them again in the future, you are likely to be given more consideration back then just ending the previous conversation with "thanks".

 

YES!

 

"Thanks" is polite but for me, it's unclear if you just were information gathering and you'll be back minutes/days/weeks later to schedule some time together, or if it's not in your budget, or what. I'm the kind of guy who doesn't want to add pressure and I hope that if someone wants something, they would say so. I can also understand that there is a "no haggling" sort of thing going around, and I don't love when someome comes right out of the gate trying to haggle, but if someone were to say to me that it's a bit out of their budget, I would at least have a conversation about what we could make work.

 

I also like @Mikegaite suggestion of thinking about what you might want to offer or provide to "make up" the difference in what you can find financially and what the provider asks. For example, I have a regular client here in NYC that I give a discount on my rate to because he is not only a regular patron, but he also regularly gives me an extra bottle of poppers or a couple of jockstraps, and frequenly has me over for dinner or takes me out for lunch. We've negotiatied through it all and it works for both of us. Also, don't underestimate what you have to offer a provider - sometimes, I've had someone hug me when I really needed it, or listen to me bitch about something for 5 minutes and it's made the whole day better.

[desertguy1954]

The don’t haggle mentality is a forum poster mentality, not a general hirer mentality. One of the people I see most often “haggles” every time in the sense that we negotiate my rate. I could care less.

 

4, enumerate the list of providers providing xxx and xyy assuming the providers are amenable to that info being disclosed. If you don’t give numbers right off the bat, it’s too much effort for providers to invest time negotiating downwards. Give your best and final from the getgo. Concomitantly provide creative non-monetary compensation to offset the difference between your budget rate and the provider’s standard rate.

When contacting an escort, I have usually found out their hourly rate by looking at their rate or checking out their website. My question about their rates is going to be for multiply hours. I book for two and am looking to see if the second hour is discounted.

[+ DrownedBoy]

I use, "Thank you for your time."

 

That is polite, but also establishes that I consider any communication to be over.

 

I don't haggle. I'll make an offer, or I'll let them make a counteroffer, but I will never make a counteroffer myself.

[Ryan Wolff]

3. "My budget is $XXX." I'd then suggest if there was a way to negotiate a middle price point you both can agree too... I think most of us, if given a reasonable offer, would consider it. But you'd need to be willing to meet 1/2 way... IMHO...

 

I'll try it again a different way....

 

Given that RM does not permit the posting of fees, when a potential client asks you for your fees and those fees are higher than what the client is prepared to pay, what do you think is the appropriate response from the client?

 

1. No response. Radio silence. Move on.

2. "No thanks" No further explanation

3. "My budget is $XXX. Any chance you are willing to meet it?"

4. "My budget is $XXX, and I get lots of guys for that price. I would be prepared to go to $XYY if...."

5. Something else...?

[Ryan Wolff]

Many of us will have a reduced 2 hour rate... Just ask... I'm up front up the first hour + each additional hour, and that seems to work for me with my clients. ?

 

When contacting an escort, I have usually found out their hourly rate by looking at their rate or checking out their website. My question about their rates is going to be for multiply hours. I book for two and am looking to see if the second hour is discounted.

[Ryan Wolff]

As my bf says... It's all transactional ?

 

Are you opening the door to bargaining? Btw your ad expired a few weeks ago. Would you do an incall in exchange for someone paying ad for 2 months?

[Ryan Wolff]

Many possible clients are fine with hearing "that doesn't work with my schedule for this trip, but stay in touch so we can plan something only next trip." Being polite costs nothing and can build you up in the eyes of a client... IMHO...

 

Fear of haggling is another of example of these forums being a self-selected minority sample that differs from the majority of clients/escorts who don't post here.

 

Most of my clients don't have a problem with it. I feel it's best, if you have a budget, to be upfront. But I think it's best to give as much info as reasonable in the first 1-2 texts: "Married, discreet, 60s here. Looking for bf experience, you top. Available tonight 9pm, my hotel in Tribeca? Can do 280 roses for hr of your time. Privacy/discretion important. Thanks."

 

The who/what/when/where/how is thus out of the way, and now you can do the personality and compatibility dance for a bit before confirming. Don't understand why w can't just save everybody's time and energy by being direct, clear, concise, and complete.

 

Radio silence is perhaps the worst form of this poor communication, both rude and unclear at the same time. I block clients who do it, and have had some circle back months to years saying, "Been texting and calling, can't get through." When I tell them they were blocked because of having ghosted, then it's "Oh, didn't mean to, something came up." Okay, well just send a text saying "No longer interested, maybe another time" or "No longer available, will check you next trip." How hard is that?

[mattr]

Here is a response I recently sent

 

Thanks <name>. That's a bit more than I was looking to spend although you may be worth the extra expense. I'll think about it though and let you know.