When does one chalk it up to fate and move on?

[LaffingBear]

So, he has an outstanding reputation. One of this Board's favorites.

 

Super polite and accomodating in planning.

 

Except, he's repeatedly canceled, or changed plans, throughout all attempts to schedule. He may not be aware of the repetitive cancels. They've been months apart, across several years. So, its not like some guy jerking me around. And I genuinely believe his reasons. He's undoubtedly busy.

 

This time, I actually expected the cancellation. And I was correct. It was polite, and included a request to reschedule, one hour before appointed time.

 

I'm not going to trash the guy. He's been on my list for years. I will be disappointed to abandon the experience. But I'm beginning to think the fates have ordained it will not happen.

 

And so, without hostility, but perhaps fatalistic protection of my expectations, I'm thinking I should just reply "ya know what? I dont think it's meant to be. Best of luck."

[+ sync]

So, he has an outstanding reputation. One of this Board's favorites.

 

Super polite and accomodating in planning.

 

Except, he's repeatedly canceled, or changed plans, throughout all attempts to schedule. He may not be aware of the repetitive cancels. They've been months apart, across several years. So, its not like some guy jerking me around. And I genuinely believe his reasons. He's undoubtedly busy.

 

This time, I actually expected the cancellation. And I was correct. It was polite, and included a request to reschedule, one hour before appointed time.

 

I'm not going to trash the guy. He's been on my list for years. I will be disappointed to abandon the experience. But I'm beginning to think the fates have ordained it will not happen.

 

And so, without hostility, but perhaps fatalistic protection of my expectations, I'm thinking I should just reply "ya know what? I dont think it's meant to be. Best of luck."

I say keep on giving it a shot every now and then. Giving up will always be an option, it doesn't have to be your option right now.

[+ azdr0710]

If you're still eager to meet and he appeals to you, remind him of the repeated past cancellations next time - (and that he appeals to you, thus the patient hanging on for a meet).

[+ Oaktown]

[Gymowner]

I would as politely stated as here, let the escort know this. It may be just poor luck and he is not even aware. If he is as stellar as you claim here then he will bend over backwards to get a session with you. If he has reasons for this then you will hear crickets from him.

 

Please let us know the outcome. It helps keep these guys... even the good ones "feet to the fire" and create great sessions.

[+ purplekow]

Put it on the back burner, If he is a traveller, and you see he is in your town, try calling for a same day visit. At least you will not have the rollercoaster ride that way. If he is in your town, you can be a bit more flexible but still make it very short turn around time from text contact to dick contact,

[excelntsvc]

"hey its' cool guy ... but all these changes are making me less excited about the appointment ... I think i'll go with another provider, thanks" ... see if losing the appt matters to him

[+ oldNbusted]

The question in the subject arises from the experience in the OP, so I'm gonna address them separately.

 

When does one chalk it up to fate and move on?"

 

When I started out, reading stories here, I realized I needed to establish an answer to this question, so I didn't get trapped in a cycle of trying to make a decision on the fly, for each situation. For people I've not yet met, I decided to go with zero times. What I mean by that is when I send someone a message, that is the end of it for me unless I hear back. If I never hear from them, I don't give any thought to why that might be, as that is pointless, and I do not reach out to them again. I would extend this to cancellations. Their reasons why do not matter. I've never had anyone cancel or attempt to reschedule, but I wouldn't even respond. Having said that, if they had the wits to reach out to me again later, I would be happy to continue trying to work out a meeting. I will say no one I hadn't previously met has ever reached out to me later. It's only happened once that a guy I had previously met, who then later declined to set a meeting with me, then even later reached out to me again, which I regarded as completely acceptable.

 

 

So, he has an outstanding reputation. One of this Board's favorites.

 

Super polite and accomodating in planning.

 

Except, he's repeatedly canceled, or changed plans, throughout all attempts to schedule. He may not be aware of the repetitive cancels. They've been months apart, across several years. So, its not like some guy jerking me around. And I genuinely believe his reasons. He's undoubtedly busy.

 

This time, I actually expected the cancellation. And I was correct. It was polite, and included a request to reschedule, one hour before appointed time.

 

I'm not going to trash the guy. He's been on my list for years. I will be disappointed to abandon the experience. But I'm beginning to think the fates have ordained it will not happen.

 

And so, without hostility, but perhaps fatalistic protection of my expectations, I'm thinking I should just reply "ya know what? I dont think it's meant to be. Best of luck."

 

You present as a considerate and intelligent person, certainly more than I am, so I'm pretty sure you didn't do anything wrong here, so I believe you should consider your experiences just as valid as anyone else here and go ahead and share who it is.

 

With the preface that it doesn't matter why, I'm going to apparently be the contrarian and say this guy doesn't want to meet you. It seems likely that he is also aware of the forum, and so might have a policy of not explicitly rejecting anyone because it's a small world. For most people, two, maybe three cancellations, and they would drop it and move on, and not realize they had been turned down. I believe if you were to send the message you propose, the guy is going to say to himself finally!

 

Let me ask you a question and it's not intended to embarrass, perhaps it's more a credit to you being a thoughtful person, but about how many total cancellations/reschedules are we talking here? It certainly sounds like you've alredy gone above and beyond on being persistent. Personally, if I got even a second cancellation from someone I had a good meeting history with, I would simply say to them, hey, this has happened a couple of times now, so the ball is in your court, it is now up to you if we meet again. No way I would bother to say this to a guy I never met, I would just drop it and move on.